To some, I’m just another blogger. To some, just another teen, another face on the street, another quiet girl. To still others, I’m a sibling, a daughter, or a friend. Some see me through judgmental eyes, seeing me as “holier than thou”. Some see the true me, flawed and far, far, far, far, far from perfect. However you see me, whether by choice or by circumstance, I have one small hope.
I pray that you would see me not as another girl, another human, a friend, blogger, or chocoholic. I pray that instead, you would see me as a reflection, a signpost, a mirror, turning your gaze from who I am to the Creator of heaven and earth. I hope that when people see me, they do not see my life, my choices, my words or actions; I hope that when they see me, they will see Christ through me. I pray that they will see that the stupid choices I’ve made have been used by God for His glory, the errs both accidental and intentional twisted to show His grace and forgiveness, His mercy and love.
Mistakes, I have plenty. Wrong choices ever abound. Foolish words, stupid actions, and scars of sin mark my life. But it is my prayer and hope that despite who I am, despite these imperfections, and despite my sin-stained life, that through these imperfections and sins I can be a light that shines so brightly that it can’t be denied, pointing the way to Christ. Not that I may continue to sin, but that through the sins I have committed, it can be shown that Christ forgives and loves me all the same. I hope that it can be seen in my life how incredibly marvelous God is, how remarkably amazing and unfathomable His power and might is, and how greatly He loves His children. I hope that my life can be a testimony of His healing grace and mercy that washes away all record of sin. That is what I pray the story of my life can be. I hope people can see my life, etched with sin, and say “the Lord has worked in her life in mighty ways! See how marvelous He is!”
There are people I know whom I have seen the Lord do great things with, in which I have seen His hand at work in their lives. There are people I have seen who are not shining brightly for His glory, who try to live a life separate from the Lord. I have seen myself do things that honor Him and things that do not. I have made some very poor, foolish choices, and I have spurned His love over and over again. Yet, despite it all, I know that God takes the broken, dirty, old things and turns them into whole, beautiful, new creations. I pray that He will use this worn, sinful heart to do amazing things, to be a testimony of His love and redemption.
This is what I pray that my life would be seen as. Yes, you will see my imperfections and my sins. I am not excusing the things that I do that break God’s law and do not bring Him glory. In no way would I try to justify that; that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I simply hope that you see the sins in my life as the sins that God has washed away with the love of His blood, and see that He can do the same for you. I pray that you will see the scars of sin that I bear as a testimony that He truly does make all things new.