So I Have This Fear…

(Don’t you like how I get so fed-up with school that I end up posting something? I mean, who needs to know how to figure out the volume and surface of a pyramid anyway…) (On to the post.)

I’m afraid. (Of teenagers, huge spiders, the future, etc.) I’m afraid to try new things, to take risks and chances, because of one particular fear that I’ve let dominate my life: I’m afraid of failing. Why? I’m afraid of what other people think of me.

This fear literally controls my life. I am scared to death of not pleasing other people. It’s not wrong to care about what other people think of you… but I’ve taken it WAY too far. I turn down opportunity after opportunity after opportunity, because I’m afraid of failing where everyone can see. Activities, chances to make friends, answering a question in class… What if I mess up? What if I say something stupid? What if I get the answer wrong? EVERYONE WILL THINK I’M STUPID AND NO ONE WILL LIKE ME.

Have you ever had these thoughts? This is… my social life. (“Oh goodness, I sounded like a jerk, what will they think of me?” *starts going down long hill of self-beating-up-and-criticizing*)

People – this is a horrible (HORRIBLE) way to exist. Because, you see, the truth is that I don’t live for you. I shouldn’t live my life as if you were always inspecting the way I do my hair. I shouldn’t live as if every person on the planet is tallying up my every loud, obnoxious laugh. I shouldn’t live as if all human beings are scrutinizing my every move, grading my speech, and condemning my mistakes.

Because, my dear peoples, God didn’t create me for you.

He created me for Him.

I was created to glorify Him, to “live for an audience of One”, as I always heard it put. This means glorifying God with myself. Makeup on my face, my speech practiced and perfected, and every move calculated is not the way He made me to glorify Him. I have one purpose – to bring Him glory.

God finds glory in me being me.

And, my friend, God finds glory in you being you.


6 Replies to “So I Have This Fear…”

  1. You don’t have a loud obnoxious laugh. Trust me. πŸ™‚ Excellent thoughts though! Anything good we receive comes after a a lot of trying and failing usually. Any sport, any talent, any friendship, always comes with at least a bit of struggling and failing. And that’s okay.


  2. Great post, Lauren! I too have struggled with a fear of failing. I must say, in some ways I think it gets easier the more you do it. Haha! Although at other times it makes me want to give up altogether, only to have my brother tell me I can’t give up.
    One thing that has helped me is that I ask myself “Is it better to try and fail or fail by never trying?” and of course, the answer is it is best to try and fail. Another thing I do if I am really discouraged is I start talking aloud to two of my good guy friends who listen to all of my nonsense and I start telling them how much of a failure I am. And then immediately they start scolding me and don’t let me continue. πŸ˜‰
    I love you, Lauren!
    Hope my comment was helpful and not non-helpful. πŸ˜‰


    1. Haha, thank you Hannah! Your comment was definitely helpful. πŸ™‚ I need to ask myself that question more often. (I let my emotions overrun logic sometimes…) And yep, I’ve got those people, too. Haha! Love you too, Hannah!


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