Guest Post

Today I have Cassie here with a guest post! Thanks, Cassie!

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How to Compliment the Other Gender

Ah, the age-old question – how does one compliment the other gender without coming off creepy or flirty? (Actually, it’s not age-old. At all. It’s really very recent.) It’s a tough one, isn’t it? I have, like any other Christian teen, thought over this long and hard. And I’ve had too many discussions about it with friends to count. There’s usually a few reoccurring answers. And some different ones. It’s often all quite a muddle.

Until now.

This came to me very randomly one night. It took a bit of re-working to get straight, but finally, it’s complete.

Introducing the formula for how to compliment the other gender without sounding flirty or creepy!!

• Signals
• Heartfelt and genuine
• Restraint
• Evenly distribute
• Wait
• Don’t stress!

As you can see, this spells SHREWD. Rather fitting, no? Let’s extrapolate on each of those a bit.

Signals. This mean body language, tone, etc. These will likely make or break your compliment! Have an open tone, not a suggestive one. Keep your face an posture friendly, not flirty. (Girls especially – watch your eyes! Don’t pour ‘hidden meaning’ into them! Don’t stare too deeply!)

Heartfelt and genuine. This is so key! If you’re giving a compliment for the wrong reasons, it will show. Keep it genuine, and it will be far more likely to be taken well.

Restraint. (This one is probably more for girls, but it does go both ways.) Don’t lay it on too thick! Keep it simple. This is probably one of the hardest ones for me – I have a tendency to get way over-excited and pour all of it into my compliment. Gosh, that is not wise. You can be excited, and take a few sentences if need be, but don’t go overboard! Rein back, exercise some restraint.

Evenly distribute. Give compliments to everyone! Guy or girl, old or young, scatter the seed broad! It is suspicious when the only compliments you give are to that one girl/guy. If you don’t want to be taken the wrong way, make sure you’re not treating them as more special than anyone else. Treat everyone as special!

Wait. This one is the partner of Restraint. It applies especially when communicating electronically. Waiting a period of time before giving a compliment allows any excess emotion to cool off and blow away, leaving the ‘air’ around a compliment clearer and less confusing. Now, obviously you can’t wait before giving every compliment. Some are applicable only in the moment. But when you can, it’s a good idea. I find it best if I write/plan a compliment when I think of it, then wait overnight. I then come back to it, edit it if necessary, and deliver it.

Don’t stress out! Chill! If you’ve done what you can, don’t freak out over how a compliment is going to be received! Relax, people. The world isn’t going to end if you’re misinterpreted. Just try your best, and let it go. 🙂

There you have it! My best attempt at consolidating many discussions into a single acronym. There is more to be said on this topic, of course (feel free to chat in the comments!), but in my opinion, these are the basics. Hope it helps!

Cassie at Purely His