It is Well

I sang “It is Well” today. Not just the song, but those very specific words.

It is well with my soul.

I cried. The last time I cried in church was three years ago, for a very different reason. This time, I cried because I am finally at a place in my life where I can sing this song.

When I moved to Pennsylvania, it broke me. In every way possible, it destroyed me. My faith suffered severely, and I’m still recovering from that. I determined that until I felt it truly in my soul, I would not say “It is well”. Because for me, it was very much not well.

I stood in the auditorium that I believe is where I will stay, at a church I am beginning to believe is the place where I should go. I get to get up early in the morning tomorrow to go to my stable, full-time, wonderful job. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, typing this on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and for the first time since moving here, I am happy. I am happy in myself. I am not happy due to other people in my life and what they do for me. I am happy because of what has been done in my life. God has blessed me immensely, and carried me out of a terribly dark place.

It is well with my soul.

I couldn’t say that before. I actually kind of refused. My soul was not well, and I couldn’t lie about that with a straight face. I resented this whole-heartedly.

I cried today because I remembered the time of my life when it hurt to listen to that song. The darkness was not okay. I cried remembering the long nights of tears, ink, and overwhelming feelings. I remembered the raw emotions of brokenness, the constant questioning of why my life had taken the turn it did.

I also remembered the most beautiful time of my life, when I was truly happy. I remembered my church, my friends, my growing little family, my everyday joys that followed me through each moment. And my heart still yearns for those precious, innocent days.

But that’s not where I ended up. I’m still stuck in Pennsylvania, but I’ve come to accept this. This is where God has me, and I can say from the bottom of my heart, that this is okay. I’m still not where I want to be, but in this moment, I’m where I need to be. And this is okay, too. I have a different job, different friends, a different church, different passions, different past-times. Sometimes, I still struggle to accept that this is my life. But right now, this is okay.

It is well with my soul..

Truly.

Am I overflowing with joy in every situation? No. I should be welling over with the joy that Christ gives me. And I’m working on that. But am I happy? Yes. Not in every moment. But every day? Yes. There was a time that I thought I would never say that again, and yet… Here I am. Living my life, happy, making memories, taking opportunities, making difficult decisions that would better honor the Lord. I’m still trying to get back on track to where I believe I should be; but that’s the first step.

It is well with my soul.

How Many Goodbyes

They asked us when we would leave.

But they said it with hope and relief. 

They never told us goodbye. They just… watched us leave.

I remember those moments very clearly. I remember climbing into the van wondering why nobody would even look at us.

Kingwood didn’t give us any new relief, either. I had a moment of acceptance.

It just left as soon as it came. Meaning that she turned her back just as quickly as she smiled and said hello.

I came here thinking that I would start over 100%. And, in a way, I did.

Everything changed. Only, nothing changed.

I sat at a park with some friends a couple days ago, drinking our lemonade and coffee and root beer. We talked about things only fellow believers could understand.

It was great.

But it never lasts. What used to be never is anymore. What still is differs from what it used to be.

It’s the same game today as it always is.

What is it about me? Us? I don’t understand.

Sometimes, there is no solution. Sometimes, all there is is trust.

What even is trust?

trust

trəst/

noun

1. 1.

   firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

 

Lord, help my unbelief.

I have doubts. And insecurities. God doesn’t take them away, but He gives us ways to fight them.

It doesn’t matter how many goodbyes they say or don’t say.

It doesn’t matter how many places I go and the looks are still the same.

Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. His consistency surpasses the world’s inconsistencies.

Update

Hello.

It’s been… insanely long. And I’m aware of that.

I never forgot about my faithful followers who wondered what the heck had happened to me. Thanks for being patient.

A lot of things have happened spiritually during my time away.

I want to be able to get to all of it. I’m a senior this year, preparing for college, working 29 hours a week, and have kind of a big role in a musical.

And my computer is in the shop right now, I’m typing on my school laptop.

So I can’t promise that this blogging is going to turn into a routine again. I sooo hope that it will though. I just wanted to sit down and type something for my blog.

Do you have anything you’d like for me to blog about? I’d love to get back into it answering any questions y’all would have.

Thanks for reading.

What I Know

Been listening to this song on repeat late at night recently.

 

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=WGWGYLNX

Hi…

I feel like I owe y’all an explanation. I wish I could give you one. But… I can’t. Sorry.

In the meantime, I have to officially say that I have to give up blogging for a little bit. But I hope to get back into it by the end of 2017! Thank you all so SO much for your faithful reading and feedback. It means the world. 🙂

Greetings Blessings

Hello! I know, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from me. Yes, I am alive. Yes, I am still growing in my walk with Christ. I’ve been learning recently that God really does work through the deepest, darkest trials to form the deepest, strongest walk with Him.

I haven’t taken a look at my blessings in a while, so what better way to make a conscious effort to get back into the blogosphere than with counting and sharing some blessings!

• A prolonged summer (*cross your fingers that this means less winter now…*)
• Long walks in the cemetery
• Growing
• Special packages from friends (THANK YOU SISSYYYYYY)
• Someone who will listen to things that don’t make sense
• Moments of silence
• A child’s giddy laughter
• The feeling of fingers on a computer keyboard
• Listening to a friend cry
• Forgiveness and grace
• Unconditional love
• The fact that we can contemplate random things about the Bible
• Random moments of the giggles epidemic
• Cuddly kitties
• Perfect music that says all the things that you wish you could say but can’t
• Contentment and satisfaction

What are some ways that He’s blessed you?

Not Darkness, Darling

I am whole.

Almost.

The sun bathes my neighborhood in orange-tinted light as it says its final goodbyes, dipping behind the distant mountain until tomorrow comes. I sit on my bed, AP pouring hopeful words into my ears, worn out from enjoying the cold air outside.

I think that I’m ready for a small break.

But, darling… This is life. Why would you want it any other way?

Hmm. Good point.

I can see it clearly in my head – one of the many beautiful memories I have of that moment in time. The rain had passed, the sun had returned in the evening, and the air was thick with a beautiful smell. The sun turned the wet grass and trees to gold, shining in glorious brilliance and threatening to take my breath from me.

It was beautiful.

The storm was nasty. Dark, harsh winds ripping branches from trees, tossing leaves wildly around the porch in a whirlwind as they circled helplessly.

But the sun-lit ground was beautiful.

Traces of the storm were evident, but it had a refined look. It had withstood a nasty storm. The world still stood.

I sit here, and now the sun is shining on the outside, but the storm is raging on the inside. Helplessness tosses around wildly inside, dark, harsh winds rip me apart. I’m drenched by a flood of rain that drowns me even though I’ve screamed for the lifeguard to help me.

I am alone.

My eyes are heavy, but I cannot sleep. My mind whirls and spins, unsure of how to stop or what to think. Too many thoughts to be organized into something that people can understand.

Oh God, give me peace.

I don’t want to be alone anymore. My knees hit the floor, my hands hide my face as the mascara streaks across my face with the tears.

God, I need you. Please answer me.

The rain pours, the thunder crashes; lightning illuminates my heart. I scream silent cries, my tears dry and my heart is parched and cracked. My head hangs, unsure that I can keep going anymore.

Hello?

God, you are my God, and I will forever praise You.

For even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

(NONE?!) (No, darling. None.)

*breathe*

I am whole.

Almost.

For He is with me, walking close beside me. In the shadow of death.

No, darling – you are not alone.

The sun is out now; the houses are shining white, glaring at me and making me duck my head. No dark clouds, no gray air filling my lungs. It’s pure, it’s clean.

Darkness? No. A chance for my Savior to hold my hand even tighter.

When I Reflect

I have a story. And it’s not a very short one, but it’s too long to explain in one human-sized post. 

*don’t ask*

I have a story of redemption. Of being bought with a price. Having a purpose beyond surviving and pursuing the American dream. Growing more in love with a Savior who spilled blood and tears and sweat and misery over when I spat in His face over and over again. When He smiled and lifted my brokenness and mended me together with a love I can’t describe. 

It’s beautiful. 

The road is long, the journey treacherous- even life threatening. Is it worth it?

I stop and stare at the black night sky. Is following Jesus worth pain? Is it worth rejection? Is it worth losing my life for? Only the testimonies of those who died before me can rejoice and sing His praise, proclaiming victory. They would die all over again to preach His love just a day more, I am sure.

I look at my heart. Am I as confident? Does my life reflect this desire? My feet stand on a ground that can only be tested by an earthquake. I pray, my God, that I will stand strong.

Hosanna

My Battle with the Dragon

*sits down with ice cream* Let’s get down to business here.

So basically, these past two weeks have been.…………. Horrible. Truly awful. I’ve been sick, I’ve been stressed like crazy, my life sort of went berserk and hasn’t quite settled back into a routine, and I’ve been carrying a lot of people through hard stuff.

Pretty much, I’m ready for a break. (Which isn’t gonna happen. I already asked God for one and He said “No”.)

You see, I’ve spent a lot of time these past two weeks fighting. Fighting myself. Fighting lies. Even *gasp* fighting God. Fighting the people I love most. Fighting my worst enemy: the dragon that is threatening to destroy me. And he’s doing a really good job of it at the moment.

I’ve been turning something over in my mind though. (And I just realized I have this weird habit of leaning my head to the right all the way until it touches my shoulder when I type… Interesting. ANYWAY.) Have you ever tried to kill a dragon? It’s hard. And I didn’t realize how stinking hard it was until this past week. I’ve got people to help me, but my word, God didn’t create dragons to just be stabbed in the heart and the knight carries the princess off into the sunset. YIKES.

There’s a strategy, a formula, a system. To attack the dragon, you have to learn its weak points, its strengths, what feeds it and what weakens it, how to fight it and what only makes it worse. Because dragons aren’t as easily destroyed as other creatures, in case you didn’t know. (Listen to the dragon expert here.) (And yes, I use parentheses and asterisk marks too much, do you mind??) You have to learn the dragon to successfully defeat him.

Which takes time. And effort. And pain. And it’s a long, hard, very long, very hard procedure and battle. The King will forever look after His children, but there will be pain involved. The princess will be scratched by the dragon’s cutting claws. The knight will be singed by the dragon’s bitter fire. The King will pick them up, dust them off, and return them to the fight. The knight will hold the princess while she cries and the princess will nurse the knight’s wounds. And then they all get back up to fight the dragon.

Because the dragon doesn’t go away. The dragon doesn’t stop just because you’ve given it all you’ve got. The dragon is persistent, never failing, always persisting, never ceasing to try to destroy you with every breath. And it’s hard. It’s very, very hard.

BUT. The King keeps giving strength. I’ve seen it happen to me, His princess, who bears the marks of the dragon’s hate. I’ve seen it happen to the knight, those who have helped me fight this beast. I’ve seen us all fall, and get back up again, a little bruised and maybe broken, but we keep fighting.

And it’s not been easy. Every step of the way has been painful. But we keep going. We keep trying. We keep fighting. Because it’s not by our own strength, but by the strength, grace, and power of the King that we can even fight to begin with. If He gives us the strength to begin the fight, He will give us the strength to finish it. And He is victorious; He will defeat the dragon.

Hidden Grace

It’s there in the sorrow of the final goodbye.

It’s there in the stillness of the water, the silence of the edge of brokenness.

It’s there in the darkest moment, when you’re screaming and on the verge of death.

It’s there in the face of the newborn, innocence and perfection in such a tiny bundle.

It’s there in the leap of your heart when she whispers that she loves you .

It’s there in the victory of successes and the lessons from defeat.

It’s there when all hope seems lost, and a light flickers in the distance.

It’s there at the burning edge of dawn, when the season of night is drawing to an end.

It’s there in the magnificent glory of a sunset, as the earth is bathed injaw dropping hues of orange and pink and the glory of God.

It’s there. It’s His hidden graces. His grace finds us even in the dead of night.

Calling Out Your Name

I’m Learning

Right now as I’m typing this, I’m sitting on my bed in my room. My phone is buzzing with texts from people who love me, trying to get me to do something that I need to do but won’t.

And… Okay, I confess. It’s annoying. (I love y’all…)

I’ve got this irritating trait about me, called stubbornness. It’s one of my strongest traits. I’m pretty hard-headed and, well okay I guess I’ll say it, rebellious. So stubbornness just fits right in there.

At the moment, I’ve been putting off something I should be doing for about five days now. And it’s kind of really important, like essential to survival kind of important. But stubborn ole me is rebelling against what I know I should do, and is refusing to admit the truth. Because, I kind of do that a lot actually.

(Don’t be like me, okay? Learn from my mistakes, don’t repeat them.)

I need to take a minute to be real with y’all. This is an insanely hard time of my life right now. I mean it, I’m on the brink of something that could change my life forever. Which isn’t altogether a comforting thought, if I’m honest with you. God’s working some things in my life that don’t seem to have any purpose or direction or reason… I feel like Wylie Coyote when he’s run off the edge of the cliff, and is hanging in mid air while he realizes what’s about to happen. Or a boat that’s on a river, and has reached the waterfall and is about to make the plunge over.

It’s not very fun.

(And my Capital Kings won’t load. Siiiigh.)

And I’m looking down… The water is churning below me and I don’t know if I’m going to drown. The bottom of the canyon is hard and dry, and I don’t know if I’m going to break. It’s scary, not knowing what to do or where to go.

It’s late at night here… I’ve been operating on about four hours of sleep every night for the past week. Because of reasons we won’t mention. None of which have been altogether fun. I’m drained mentally, physically, and emotionally. Life has been very hard right now.

But here’s the coolest part: I’m not fighting alone.

You see, I’ve learned something this past week that has never hit me so hard before. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m not a very popular person. I’ve got some aspects of my life that would be repelling to most.

But the beautiful thing is, I have friends who love me as Christ loves me.

I’ve got friends who will encourage me to do the right thing even when they know it’s painful and I know it’s painful. I’ve got friends who will push me to fight the demons in my mind. I’ve got friends who love me in spite of my darkest sins. I’ve got friends who will fight the dragon for me. I’ve got friends who will stay up until 2:00 in the morning because I need help. It’s incredible.

I have people showing me grace, love, acceptance, patience, and holding me in my darkest hour. It’s incredible.

But this is ultimately so amazing because it is a reflection of what my Father does for me.

I heard it through the tears in the voice of my friend. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

It’s true. Our Father has overcome the world.

He has overcome the tears from the hurt that have dried on my phone screen. (Probably a bad idea… Should clean that off, huh?)

He has overcome the darkness that presses me at night.

He has overcome the dragon that whispers in my ear when I look at my reflection.

He has overcome the pain from yesterday, the defeat of tomorrow, and the silence of the moment. He is more than the bitter pang in your heart, the nudge of guilt, the moments of regret from the past.

It’s hard. He never promised that life would be hard. He never promised that you wouldn’t spend nights in tears, curled up and wishing that it would all go away. He didn’t say that we wouldn’t experience pain, rejection, loneliness, disappointment, or fear.

But. He did say that He has overcome it.

And this is the God we serve. This is our Savior, our Lord and King, our Heavenly Father. He is our light and our comforter. Even when there is no hope to be seen.

I am cleaving to the rock of my salvation. On Christ I will depend. My hope is Jesus.

Hey

Hello, all. It’s been a crazy time of my life right now (I know, that probably gets old, I’m sorry), and so I haven’t had much to say. But I haven’t forgotten y’all. 🙂 I’ll be back soon.

Grace, Grace, God’s Grace

Why am I sitting in my bed at midnight watching Bonanza and eating tortellini??

Let’s just say I have sleeping problems.

But while I’m sitting here, I’m once again struck in awe at God’s grace.

I have anger issues. I have friends who struggle with lashing out. I have friends who struggle with forms of immorality. I have friends who struggle with bad attitudes. The list goes on and on and on and on.

No good Christian admits to those things. Right?

We gasp, “Oh, no, *I* don’t struggle with any of those things. True Christians don’t have those kinds of problems.” AKA, “I’m a perfect saint.”

Or, if we were to really look underneath their saintly garb, we would find a depraved sinner just as guilty as we ourselves.

But we don’t want to see that side, do we?

Because who hasn’t struggled with anger in some degree? Who hasn’t said something they regret? Who hasn’t dealt with immorality in some way? Who hasn’t had a bad attitude when something doesn’t go their way? I dare you to find one person who hasn’t dealt with all of the above. And if you find one person (which you won’t), you’ll find that they’re liars who just want to hide their sins beneath their pile of guilt.

We’re all sinners. We all sin. Multiple times every day. And we will never be perfect. We will sin until the day we die.

But here’s the good news for you, my fellow sinner. The grace that covers my anger covers yours. The grace that covers my lashing out covers your lashing out. The grace that covers my selfishness covers yours. The grace that covers my bad attitudes and rebellion covers yours.

It’s beautiful.

It’s because of what was accomplished on the cross. The blood that flowed freely from the deep holes in Jesus’ hands and feet, the blood that ran down from His head, the blood in His sweat that dripped from His body, all was poured out so that your immorality could be canceled in the eyes of God. It was shed so that Lauren S.’s anger would be wiped away. It was shed so that your bad attitudes would no longer blot your record.

Because now all that remains is a page as white as snow.

Sin had left a crimson stain – He washed it white as snow.

You didn’t deserve it. No more than I do. And God alone knows that my sins from the past 24 hours alone would condemn me to an eternity in hell.

He didn’t want that for me. It broke His heart so much that He sent His Son to endure the pain of hell so that I could be free from that debt.

This is why it’s amazing grace. It wasn’t deserved. It came at such a high cost. But His love for us far out-measured the price that had to be paid. He literally went through hell itself so He could hold you in His arms forever.

Talk about insane love!!

And when my sins were wiped away, it wasn’t just left an empty slate. My hatred was replaced with forgiveness. My anger was replaced with crazy love. My immorality was replaced with righteousness. My lack of self-control was replaced with redemption. My transgressions were replaced with justification. All of my sins were wiped away completely, gone forever, and replaced with love and grace. The angry, self-centered, bitter, immoral, judgmental, jealous, hateful Lauren was forgiven and freed. Forever and ever. It was covered by the grace of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

It doesn’t get any better than that.

Help Me Out?

Hello to my faithful readers!

This isn’t a normal post. (In case you hadn’t figured it out by now, I’m prone to do irregular things sometimes. Coupled with the fact that I’m already abnormal, it makes my life… interesting.) This is a post where I’m asking for your help.

Yes, you, personally.

Those of you who have been reading the longest can see it – my blog has taken a few turns over the past couple of years. It’s because my blog reflects my journey, and naturally my spiritual journey has had some leaps and stand-stills these past two years.

(It’s almost been two years since I started blogging, let’s just go with it.)

Lately, my posts have been more of “my life is X right now, it’s been really hard and AAAAH CRAZY STRESSFUL but God is still good, isn’t His grace wonderful??”. It’s been more of “Discombobulation At Its Finest” than “My Thoughts on Contemporary Christian Music“. And so now I’m curious as to what y’all think about that…

Help me out here?

What are your personal thoughts about the turn my blog has taken over the past 6 months? What are some things you wish you could see, or are happy to be seeing now? About the content, level of personality in writing, etc.?

I could use your feedback. Yes, I blog to share my journey with others, but I want it to connect with others, and I need to know how best to do that! The only person who can help me reach that goal is you.

And while we’re at it, here’s a shout-out to my faithful readers (you, of course!)! You are who I blog for – without your support, by reading and your comments and all the things, it would be pretty pointless for anyone besides myself. Thank you for reading!!

Life’s Story

The look in her eyes showed me that my life had made some sort of a difference to her. I hadn’t known her longer than three hours, but already my heart had touched hers.

It was sort of overwhelming.

She was just a younger version of me, about six months behind in maturity. Which isn’t saying much, but we’re talking about our maturity on this journey of ours as we walked along the same path.

I’d been where she’d been. I had the same scars, the same hurt, the same fears.

We were alike, she and I.

Except I was a few steps ahead of her. I was a little closer to reaching the finish line than she was. So I could grab her hand and pull her to her feet, give her a pat on the back, and give her a push to keep going.

Even though I was still crying my eyes out myself.

I’ve often sat there in the dark, wondering, Does my life even make a difference? What’s the point, anyway?

I saw it in her eyes. The way she looked at me as we sat there together on the windowsill at midnight, in the place that felt like hell. It was reassurance. My life was just as valuable as hers. Which is actually saying a lot.

The race has been hard. And long; terribly long. And I’ve tried to quit a few times. But I had someone to pick me up, give me a hug, and gently nudge me toward the end of the road.

I stumble along in the darkness screaming and shaking my fist, and God doesn’t answer.

Does my life even matter anymore? What’s the point, anyway?

The answer was in her eyes. Yes, my life does matter. I am making a difference. Even if it’s only for a day, in the heart of a girl I’ll never see again.

Because you see, we weren’t all made to be the hero in the story.

Sometimes, we were created to be the voiceless character from the hero’s past, who made a subtle difference that changed the course of history. The Author wrote us into the story not to be the person who saved the world, but who molded the world-saver into the person they were, who set the stage for the salvation.

The voiceless character is just as important as the hero.

The princess isn’t more special than the servant girl. One gets recognition, the other stays in the humble shadows, but both are crucial to the survival of the kingdom.

Life is our storybook. We’d like to write it with ourselves as the fearless, brave hero, who changed the world with our lives. We wait for the Cinderella moment, to go from abused slave to beautiful princess.

And time only leaves us with a mop in our hand, and another floor to scrub.

But without a clean floor, how could the prince and princess dance?

Your life matters. My life matters. Our existence, our choices, our actions, are changing the course of history. It’s just up to us whether it’s for better or worse.

I’m not sure what the Author has me doing in the grand Story of Life. But whatever it is, I’m the character He wants me to be, playing the part He wants me to play, making the difference and paving the path He wants me to for the hero to make the grand entrance.

And the same goes for you, my friend.

God’s Not Afraid of the Hospital Room

At the time of this writing, I’m sitting on a hospital bed, scratching this out with pen and paper. (I’m home now as I’m publishing this. Let’s thank the Lord for a moment, seriously.)

I think I’ve reached what feels like a safe conclusion: the Lord doesn’t enter the hospital room with you.

I know it’s not true. I know it’s blasphemous. “The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Tell that to me when I’m wondering if I’m going to die.

I’m cold, I’m sleep-deprived, and I’m scared to death. I’ve got a needle sticking out of my arm spurting blood into a tube, and I’m wondering where I’m going to spend the night.

It’s been a long… year.

It feels like God stayed outside when I walked through the hospital doors. Like He would never enter the room with me because of who I am and what’s happened to me.

I know it’s wrong. I know He’s with me everywhere.

But something feels very lonely and forsaken about a hospital room.

I don’t feel safe in paper scrubs. I don’t feel safe huddled under a thin, scratchy white blanket, with a nurse probing me with questions and doctors examining my wounds, trying to enter my mind and assess if I’m going to be safe or not.

It’s hard.

I’ve never felt quite as alone before, quite so far from God as right now. Usually, it’s when I’m alone in my room that God feels far away. When I’m out and about in public around other people, usually not so much. But right now… God seems so distant.

Literally, like He stayed outside the hospital room and is waiting for me to come out.

But it’s simply not true. He’s right here beside me, and that’s what I have to tell myself, no matter what happens to me or where I go. He’s always here with me.

Some of you know what I’m talking about. Some of you reading this have medical conditions that leave you asking “Why?”, that have you believing God’s on the other side of that door.

He’s not. He’s right here. He is with you. AND HE IS NOT LEAVING YOU.

It’s His love for us even when we don’t deserve it. It’s His grace when we’re so unworthy. It’s who He is and who that makes us.

He’s not leaving. And He doesn’t have a fear of hospital rooms.

Through the pain, the darkness, the loneliness, the fear, He promises – that’s a promise from *God* – that He will not leave you or forsake you. Even in the pit of hell. Even through the darkest night. Even in the hospital room.

 

Discombobulation At Its Finest

July 8, 2016

I remember those beautiful childhood days.

Sitting in the back of the van on the way to ballet lessons, knitting while cranking up the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle tape so you could hear it better.

Digging up mud to build a small church in your backyard, and collecting all the dried grass clippings to feed the horse you would have one day.

Waking up to the smell of bacon and the sound of coffee beans being ground.

Running into the living room on Christmas morning in eager anticipation, smelling coffee and cinnamon rolls and seeing the fire warm the room with its soft glow.

Those were beautiful times.

Where am I now?

I’m not sure, to be honest.

This past week, I pretty much lived at work. Which wasn’t bad. It’s just a new experience.

My friend probably hates me. But at least she’ll be alive to do so.

I’m hungry, but that’s nothing new.

I’ve still got a stack of books over there on the shelf to be read. And I wanted to get them read before the end of the month, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. (There’s been life, ya know?)

I wake up to the sound of either Dylan running and yelling, or silence and snoring. Depends on what mood I’m in that day as to what time I wake up.

I sit in the back of the van on the way to a dreaded meeting, cranking up AP so I can drown the world out.

I don’t think the mud church would have worked out, anyway.

Dreams laugh at me as they shatter in the dust. And I just stare at them as they die before my very eyes.

There’s nothing new under the sun.

I’ve got work tonight. I enjoy the shift, most of the time. It’s been pretty fun to work that time of the day, so I’ve got my hopes up for tonight. We’ll see though.

We’ll also see if I can operate on four hours of sleep. It’s been a long night, and today promises to be no better.

(Which is why I’m typing this at 6:00 in the morning, after two episodes of Bonanza and a half hour of tossing and turning.)

When did I become a teenager? I would have sworn that yesterday was my 8th birthday. (Pigtails and everything, y’all. I was a child prodigy for being able to play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” on the piano with my right hand.)

That wasn’t supposed to happen.

My mom told me yesterday, “Welcome to the adult world.” She was half joking, but there’s a small percentage of truth in what she said.

The days of the smell of bacon in the morning and building mud churches have long since ended. There’s a new chapter that’s begun, whether I want to read it or not.

Funny how life doesn’t ask you if you want it to happen. It just, does.

*we interrupt this session for a quick yawn* *I’m tired, people*

My life isn’t about me anymore. I’ve got people involved in it. There are other hearts to hold dear and to love. Other hearts to love me. Other hearts to be loved. And it’s all as it should be.

I don’t know. I’ve wondered if I care too much.

If I had the choice, would I go back to reading the Magic Treehouse series in my pink shorts? Would I go back to singing at the top of my lungs on the trampoline, dripping wet from coming straight from the pool?

(You don’t know joy unless you jump out of the pool to get on the trampoline. Talk about fun.)

I’d like to say yes. *laughs* I was so naive. And not just because I was 8. There was a world of things I never knew I would face one day.

But to go back then would be to give up what is now.

It would mean giving up the hearts that I love and that love me.

It would mean giving up the lessons I’ve learned, the challenges that have caused me to grow, the victories I’ve won.

It would mean giving up the moments that have become some of my best memories.

I don’t think I could do that.

God sends these things into our lives for reasons. Even if we don’t understand them.

Because let me tell you something. There IS a purpose.

So my naive, fun-loving, bratty 8 year old self, you enjoy your life. Don’t take it for granted. You’re more blessed than you know.

But to my anxious, dark, hurting 16 year old self, you enjoy your life, too. Don’t take it for granted. You’re more blessed than you know.

Hope in the Face of Death

I saw its face today.

It was dark, ugly, menacing; it threatened to take something I love away from me forever.

Death looked me in the eyes, asking me if I was ready to face it, if I was ready to give it a heart that I held close.

I said “No”.

I’m not ready to lose it. I’m not willing to give up that heart, to stand by idly and watch Death seize the heart.

I won’t do it.

But I can’t stop Death. I’m powerless, even though I hold the key to Life. I can’t keep Death away, no matter how hard I fight it.

The fight against Death feels hopeless sometimes. We watch it strangle those we love, playing its lethal game and taking prisoners the hearts we hold so dearly. We can fight it with all of our strength, until we collapse on the couch at the end of the day, tears streaming down our face, and we shake our fists at God for letting Death win.

But God didn’t let Death win.

He is the key to Life.

He is the promise of redemption and freedom, life and light. He won the battle in the end.

Death is *not* the end. It may feel like it. It may seem like it. The darkness cloaks Death so it hides the light of Life. But the light is still there.

I’m watching Death cradle the heart I hold so dear. The hardened, vulnerable heart I love. I can’t do anything else – I’ve fought Death with every weapon I have.

I can only fall on my face and beg God to release the heart from Death’s hands.

He is our hope in the face of Death. Whatever happens, God is the light of our salvation, our Life in death.

Death can win a battle. It has won many battles over the course of history. But Life has won the war, because our Lord is the King of Life. He is our hope in the face of Death.

Update of My Life

*sits down with dubstep remixes streaming through my headphones and prepares post*

I know I’m a negligent blogger.

(My sincerest apologies, y’all.)

I know I keep saying that I’m really busy. And that’s the truth, honestly. I’m dealing with a TON of different things right now, and honestly I can’t really say them here. It’s different medical issues, combined with the challenges of growing up, combined with life itself, and… Yeah.

Y’all know what I’m talking about, right?

It’s just, been hard. And long. And dark.

I figured I owed y’all a bit of an explanation, though. I can’t tell you much, and honestly you don’t want to know that much. But I thought I’d just say a little bit, since y’all have so nicely and patiently put up with and supported me during my negligence.

God’s allowed me to face a really hard trial for a little over a year now. It started out as mostly just stress (and honestly a bit of a bad attitude as well), but then it grew into a lot of junk that no one ever wants to deal with. And I’ve been diagnosed with some things that, yeah, no one wants to ever deal with them either.

I’ll admit something that I hate telling people, for various and good reasons. I’ve had moments of being angry at God throughout this trial. They’re not often, and during this season, He’s drawn me closer to Him in ways I didn’t know, but there have been times when I have literally yelled at Him in anger.

So, yeah. It’s been hard, to say the very least.

My mom made the comment several months ago that my posts have gotten darker over the past year. I had a friend make the remark that the girl who ran the blog had changed since she knew me.

It’s true. I’ve changed, a lot. And honestly, I don’t know if it’s for the better of for the worse. My head and heart are in a conflict there.

My choices say that I’ve changed for the worse. You look at my decisions in life, and… Yeah.

But my heart says something different. And that’s kind of what I want to talk about here today. My heart says that God has worked some things out for His glory, despite the diagnosis and the choices and dark days of anger.

You see, He’s taught me about several things through this trial. And three things immediately stick out to me: His grace, what it’s like to truly be loved, and what it’s like to love others.

(We’ll break this down bit by bit; don’t worry, I won’t overwhelm you with random things in my life. There *is* a point to this post.)

Firstly, His grace. In case you couldn’t tell, in January, I finally learned about the grace of God. Do a search of posts from January and February, and you’ll see what I mean.

PEOPLE. I still get chills thinking about it… There is no condemnation any longer. There *was*. But there isn’t anymore. That sin I committed this morning? That sin I committed yesterday? The one I’ll commit tomorrow? Yeah, those – He doesn’t see them anymore.

Are you scratching your heads, too? It doesn’t make sense. BUT IT DOES.

It comes down to His love. The most joy-giving thing you’ll ever know, I promise you. It’s love that literally frees you. The blood of His Son has freed you; He bled and died because He loved you THAT MUCH. It’s incredible.

I could go on and on and on. I really could. But I’ll save that for another time. Another ramble, perhaps. (Or maybe not… My Bible’s right here on the couch beside me, maybe I’ll form a post right now and post it later and we’ll carry on like nothing happened.)

But since I’ve already talked about that before, we’ll move on.

Last year, before I moved, I went through a really hard time of feeling lonely, like I didn’t have any friends. I mean, I had friends, but I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could be real with. No one that really cared, really knew me, who could really see beyond the smile I gave everyone. No one saw what was beneath the mask.

(I actually prayed that God would let there be some lonely girl in Pennsylvania waiting for me when I moved there, so we could hit it off and be best friends and she would completely understand me and yeah. It was going to be perfect.)

But God knew that I needed something sooner than that. So He let me move to figure out how to place people in my life and use the ones that were already in my life to teach me some lessons.

Can we pause here just to say, God’s lessons are frequently insanely hard?

He doesn’t do things the easy way. Did you ever notice that? We read about how following Christ is hard, and we agree and repeat the words ourselves… But then we face a trial of our own and say, “God, why is this so hard?!?!?!” He’s sitting there going, “Ummm, I told you it would be… You made that decision when you chose to follow me and give me your life. I’m your Lord, so just know that I’m holding your hand through this, okay?”

*resuming my loneliness rant*

Albeit, He had people come and go over the past year. People I thought would stick with me for a long time just left. People I expected to be like those who just left have hung around. (What did I ever do to deserve that? Oh, wait, I didn’t – I just serve a good God.)

It doesn’t make sense, really.

*pausing again to interrupt with an important interruption*

God doesn’t make sense. And I’ve come to see that more and more over the past year and a half. HE DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. But what’s even better, is that’s okay.

He’s not supposed to make sense. If He made sense, He wouldn’t be God. He wouldn’t be infinite, and we wouldn’t be finite. That’s why we question and doubt. And it’s okay.

*let’s pick this up and see if I can keep going without interrupting my train of thought by chasing rabbit trails, shall we?*

He orchestrated the people in my life to meet the needs I had, each at their own time, some longer than others. What’s really cool as I think about it is, my friends have played different roles. Some I feel comfortable telling things to, others I don’t – but they’re all still there, supporting me in their own unique ways that God placed them there for.

God gave me a best friend who’s always there to listen, hug, preach, whatever I need, to help, a friend who cares more than I ever thought was possible. (And who worries too much – stop it, okay?)

He gave me a friend to let me ramble about random things, who actually really understands what I’m going through, and gives me permission to call them at midnight when I’m dealing with stuff. (And is amazingly beautiful, just so everyone knows.)

He gave me a friend who doesn’t understand what’s going on, but loves in the best way they know how.

He gave me a friend who makes me laugh.

He gave me a friend who gives great e-hugs.

Isn’t God just amazing?

*Hang on. We have to enjoy the soft grass I’m sitting on here and the sun turning a golden orange as it sets. And the fact that I just had a peanut-butter filled donut. God is amazing. Okay? Okay, carry on*

I’ve learned that even though it feels like I’m alone, that I am NOT alone. Not only is God always with me, but He’s given me friends that truly love me. Even when I don’t feel it. Even when we’re in a fight. Even when it hurts and times are hard. Even when I make stupid choices and pay the consequences. I am still loved.

And now… Yikes. I could say a ton about learning to love others. But I won’t. For time’s sake, you understand.

But wow. This trial has taught me a lot about a world of pain I never knew existed. Well, I guess I knew somewhere in the back of my head that it existed, but I had no clue about what it t meant or how real it actually was. I didn’t know how you felt dealing with a trial like this, what it looked like, or how much you would question God.

I didn’t know the pain. But I do now.

And God’s using that for His glory.

I can hold the crying sister who struggles with stress.

I can pray for the brother dealing with darkness.

I can love and be loved.

And it’s liberating.

I can feel it like it’s my own pain – because I’ve been there. I can help others who know my struggles, only because I’ve dealt with them myself.

If God hadn’t had me dealing with this trial, I would never be able to hold the broken heart of my sister and feel my own heart breaking for her. I would never be able to know the pain of hurting for my brother in his own fight. I wouldn’t know how to respond or help or pray.

But I know now.

Only because of God.

(Isn’t that how all things happen anyway?)

And I hate this trial with everything in me. But in the pit of hell or the highest point, God is with me. Right? Right.

His grace *is* enough. I can do this. And He is strengthening me with every passing day.

And for you, my brother or sister, He is strengthening you, too.

Thoughts On Marriage

I was watching a movie last night, and I had one of those moments I call “blogger moments”, but I think most people refer to them as those moments when God speaks to you by some random means. In the movie, the main character was dealing with a lot of difficult situations, he was angry and stressed, and he was handling everything the wrong way. The whole time, his wife was alongside him, praying for, loving, and supporting him. That wasn’t the point of the movie, but it was something that stuck out to me.

As I was watching that, it hit me more than it ever has before: marriage is going to be hard!

I can guarantee it, and I’m just a teenager with zero experience in the field of marriage. Yes, I can hear you right now – “who is she to talk about marriage? She’s fifteen, for crying out loud! She can’t know anything.”

Okay, I’ll give you that one. I’m not one to talk about how hard marriage is. But I can talk about the aspect of marriage that pertains to me and every other teenager hoping to get married one day.

My mom’s always told me that these years that we have right now are the years we should be preparing for marriage. This is the time that we have to become the husband, wife, father, mother that we should be one day. I admit, she’s been telling me that for years, and it’s only started to sink in as I’ve gotten older and realized more and more how much of my life needs to change. So last night, I wrote down some things that I need to be praying that God helps me to change in my life before I ever consider marriage and having a family of my own.

• I need to grow closer to and fall deeper in love with Christ. If I don’t love Christ as I should, if I don’t have the relationship with Him that I should, then every other area of my life will show that. How are you supposed to show the love of Christ to your spouse if you don’t have it in your heart yourself? Not to mention that in general, having a close relationship with the Lord makes life 103x better (and often times easier).
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• I need to learn self-control. Just, yikes on this one. I’m a naturally very emotional person (a personality trait I dislike a bit), and I need God’s grace extra here… I need to control my outbursts, and not act off of immediate emotions and anger (or not “fly off the handle”, in the words of our dear friend Glinda).
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• I need to learn how to be a humble servant. My job will be to serve my family, and I must do it with a servant’s heart – with joy and humility. Unfortunately for my non-existent future family, I’m not completely there yet…
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• I need to learn to respond in love. Again, I mentioned how I tend to respond in outbursts of anger. A gentle answer turns away wrath; I’ve got to think before I speak!
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• I need to learn to surrender. In a marriage, the wife submits to the husband’s authority. The mother puts the family before herself. It’s selfless submission, loving surrender. It’s a beautiful picture, actually, and it makes me appreciate what my own mother’s done! God’s got to tame the stubborn, independent spirit inside of me if that’s the future He has in store for me…
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• I need to learn how to deal with my problems in a Christ-honoring way. NOT by moping for days on end and letting my emotions do as they please. I can see how God has been working in me at least for the past few months here. This is something I really struggle with, but there have been moments that I can clearly look back on and see how I handled things by going to His word and finding peace and fulfillment in Him.
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• I need to gain strength. I need to be ready to carry burdens and do things like I’ve never done before. It’s going to be hard, and if I were to go into marriage and raising a family with the strength I have now, hahaha… I’d collapse. God will have to strengthen me.
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• I need to learn as much as I can about love and how to really, truly love. This is honestly something I enjoy learning about, though. It’s a choice with feeling, as I like to think of it. We choose to love, but the feeling that we always associate love with is just a side effect of that choice. It’s hard, but strong.
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• I need to live for an audience of One. Yikes… With the place I’m in in my life right now, that sounds like an impossible thing to do. I know that sounds bad, but it’s true. I fear man so, so much. I need to learn to live for God instead of the world. His opinion ultimately matters so much more.

My mom also brought up some interesting points (she’s the one that has experience in marriage, not me, so I asked her to look over this before I posted so I could hear her thoughts), so here’s basically what she said: Understand that your commitment should be to God and not to your spouse.  When you are committed to a person, it is easier to leave when the going gets tough.  If you have promised your marriage to the Lord, then your commitment is to Him and He is your anchor during the rough patches that you absolutely WILL have.  It was mentioned briefly that love is a choice, and that cannot emphasized enough.  There will be MANY days (especially during the first year or two when you are trying to figure out how to live with each other) when you don’t necessarily LIKE this person, much less feel like loving them.  Romantic “love” fades away and your heart eventually doesn’t race so readily at the thought of your spouse, but true love matures and becomes more than a fickle feeling.  Don’t confuse the loss of romantic love to be the same thing as “falling out of love”.  True love matures and becomes a selfless act of service as you grow in your relationship and as you spend your years together.

Along those lines, it was also mentioned about becoming a humble servant.  So true, but also, you have to give up any selfish thoughts and desires.  If you fall into the “What about my feelings?” or “What about what I want to do?” mentality, then you have made your marriage about serving yourself.  You have to understand that by definition, serving your husband and family will automatically mean that there will be many things you would love to do but cannot for various reasons.  However, if your spouse has the same attitude of serving you and his family, then you each will have your needs met.

As I thought about it all last night, it was really hitting me that marriage isn’t just a field of roses. I already knew that, but the reality of it was… real. (Do I get the reward for the weirdest thoughts a 15 yo. can have at 11:30 at night?) So now, we have to ask that question – is marriage worth it? Marriage will be harder than anything we’ve ever known. She’ll give the silent treatment. He’ll respond in anger. She’s stubborn. He’s overbearing. Can she be enough? How will he handle her reactions? Can he control himself for her? Can she live every day putting him first? All the questions and thoughts swirl around in our heads as we envision different scenarios based on different traits… will the roses be worth the thorns? Can we make a life-long commitment to an uncertainty?

Mk. 10:6-9, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Gen. 2:18, The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Marriage is God’s design for mankind. Marriage is the unification of two people delighting in the Lord together. It’s the beginning of new life. It’s a picture of Christ’s love for us. It’s sanctifying. God delights in and endorses marriage! He created it to fill a need inside us, to glorify Him, and to do His will on earth. What God desires will always be worth it! Just like following Him is incredibly hard sometimes, we can’t expect marriage to be much different. But I believe in the bigger picture, it is worth it.

Thoughts on Serving

For every Thursday night this summer, I’m helping out with a kids’ program at a church, playing the piano, assisting with crafts, etc. I’ve done VBS and other similar programs in the past, so this isn’t anything new to me. In fact, I love these opportunities to work with kids while presenting the Gospel or talking about God’s Word.

Tonight, I was cleaning up the craft supplies by myself while everyone else did their activities in the other room.

(Edit: I wrote this last night. But it was too late to post it. Carry on.)

It was pretty quiet, though I could hear the noise from the other room. And I hate to admit this, but I began to grumble in my heart.

I didn’t want to be there, cutting paper in an empty room by myself. I’ve had a rough week, and the last thing I wanted to do was to waste my time on a project that some little kid would probably lose within the week anyway.

They would never know that I had taken time from my busy schedule to come and serve them in a little way that didn’t seem to count for anything. It was a tiny act that would go unappreciated for all of eternity.

And that’s when it kind of hit me.

 This is what serving looks like.

I hadn’t ever grumbled working at VBS or the other programs. I had had kids that adored me, I worked alongside friends, and I had seen positive results and feedback. It was fun. Good came out of it that I was able to see with my own eyes. Why should I complain?

But tonight, it was different.

This wasn’t fun. I didn’t know anyone. I wasn’t seeing any positive results. I was alone in a room in the back of the church, cutting paper for a kid who I didn’t even know what they looked like.

I was serving.

Albeit that I wasn’t serving in that moment with the best attitude, but that was service. And it was real service.

There wasn’t anything in it for me. I didn’t benefit in any way, shape, or form. Yet I was there for a purpose – to selflessly serve others.

That’s not to say that serving can’t be fun! I’ve been in several instances where serving is a joy, and it’s a blast to serve when you can see positive results and work alongside friends.

But not every service is going to be “fun”.

 And that’s okay.

The key is the heart attitude. It’s not about the capacities or departments we serve in so much as it is who and how we serve. Tonight, I was not serving God. My grumbling heart was not a pleasing offering to my Savior! I was not working for Him with a joyful heart that was turned toward serving Him by serving others.

This probably isn’t anything you didn’t already know, but it was something that sort of hit me tonight. “Work hard and cheerfully at all you do, just as though you are working for the Lord” – it’s where the heart is.

I just have to add real quickly, service isn’t going to be a huge act every time. It’s not always going on a mission trip, or volunteering at a convention. It’s in the small, self-denying acts too. They count just as much. For me, that looks like doing something with my brother instead of getting on the computer, or watching my youngest brother so my mom can rest instead of going off to write. “Service” isn’t just the large, glamorous deeds.

His Peace

It’s summer now, at least at our house. In years before, that would have meant nothing – simply that the weather outside got insanely hot.

But this year, it’s quite a bit different. And it’s not just because it doesn’t get hot in Pennsylvania…

Last year’s school is done, and I’m about to go ahead and start my junior year. (Whaaa?!)

I’m working a few days a week now, and I’ll be working more in a few weeks.

There are all kinds of appointments to go to, errands to run, things to do, on top of every day living. (Which, you know how that can go…)

In short, it’s been a bit crazy around here.

Crazy isn’t always bad. In fact, sometimes busy crazy can be good. But it’s not always a great thing if you have stress problems, like me.

I’ve been running around freaking out about life for the past week or so now, and it doesn’t promise to slow down.

(Stress and I don’t look good together. Let’s just leave it at “it’s not a very pretty sight.”)

 Going to see a friend Sunday, meeting and work Monday, appointment Tuesday, piano Wednesday, volunteering at the church Thursday, working Friday and Saturday, then Father’s Day and birthdays and more work AND there’s school and life AND IT DOESN’T STOP……….

So. I don’t know if you have a busy summer planned for you or not. But let me tell you something that can be a comfort even if you’re not stressing right now. This may just be a reminder, but it’s worth repeating.

 God gives peace.

*breathe*

I have two favorite peace verses I want to share. The first is found in John 14:27.

 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Can y’all feel it too? This verse just… is so perfect. He doesn’t give to us as the world gives. He gives us His peace.

His peace.

Do not let your hearts be troubled, and don’t be afraid, because He gives you His peace.

Jn. 16:33 is the second one.

 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Yes… this one gives you chills, too. In this world you will have trouble – He’s not saying that you might encounter trouble, or that it might just be a minor hard time that won’t show up again. He guarantees it: you will have trouble. Not very comforting, in my mind…

…but He read my mind. (Proves how much my Creator knows me, huh?) The words following it up say, “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

“You can breathe again, Lauren, because I have overcome the world,” He whispers to me.

“I have overcome the hard trial you face.

I have overcome the tears you shed when you think no one cares.

I have overcome the shadows in your eyes.

I have overcome your fears and anxieties.

I have overcome the world.”

Do we not have an INCREDIBLE Father?

When we have trouble, He gives peace, because He has overcome every trouble we could ever know.

May this give you comfort and joy today.

Is God Good?

I texted a friend yesterday with the words, “God is good” (to which they replied, “All the time”, and we did the little back and forth thing…). Which, when going through a hard time, are not easy words to write. It stuck in my head for the rest of the night, and when searching for hope, I remembered those three words. God. Is. Good.

It may have turned into a meaningless cliché to some, but I’ve been thinking about this a good bit. This past year has been the worst year of my life, full of darkness, pain, tears, loneliness, and a lot of other things I would never wish anyone to struggle with. During that time, I’ve had to face the doubts, the questions, the silence from God, the confusion and chaos, and my faith is being violently tested. I’d like to think that I’ve been strong; I pray that I will be faithful until the end of this trial. But throughout all of this pain and darkness, I’ve spent several occasions in tears, wondering, “Is God good?”

I think it’s fair to say that anyone going through a trial will wonder if God is good. If we receive bad things in life, wouldn’t we ask if our God is good? The theological, good little side of us says “of course! I know that God is good.” But the deepest part of us, the part of our heart we don’t really want to admit is there, quietly wonders if a God who can allow darkness is actually a good God. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, all we can do is ask, “Why?” But no matter how deep the darkness, it does not change the goodness of God.

The story of Job’s suffering is well-known to believers. This was a man who lost everything – the “greatest man among all the people of the East” lost his oxen, sheep, camels, servants, children: his wealth, prosperity, family, treasured loved ones. And what’s his response? “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” (Job 2:10)

His response to this tragedy floors me. He doesn’t shake his fist at God, doesn’t curse His name, doesn’t renounce his beliefs. His faith is unshakable. Yes, he falls into a horrible, miserable darkness, but he can still say throughout all of that, “Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him” (13:15). Job still clung to the goodness of God.

It’s hard. When darkness stares you in the face, and life offers you nothing but pain and confusion, it’s hard to say that God is good. But even through the troubles, anxieties, depression, doubts, disorders, diseases, and darkness, Jesus has overcome the world. God is good.

Priceless

I don’t normally post multiple times in a day (much less one right after the other), but oh my goodness… this song… it’s so perfect. It hits me right where I’m at. (Songs do that to me…) So maybe it will help you, too.

Apologetics: Did Jesus Claim to Be God?

The Words I Would Have Said

This is for you, though I never knew you. We talked, but I failed to open your eyes to the truth. These are the things I wish you could have truly known in your heart, but I never got to tell you. These are the things I wish you would have heard if I had spoken them to you. This is what I wish I could have told you.

The world is full of hypocritical Christians. Christians who attend church every Sunday, belt out the worship songs, nod understandingly during the messages, and then go out Monday night to behave immorally and engage in activities that are not God-honoring. Christians who say that God is a God of love and mercy, but try to guilt-trip you into believing in Him.  Christians who scream their version of the gospel on street corners and try to “stuff it down your throat”, as you put it. Yes, the world is full of those. I know they’ve hurt you, and so you reject their message. But just keep reading. If you can stop bashing Christians for a moment, I promise it gets better. I’m not going to give you the same cliches that they have.

I know you’ve had experience with the Christians who shout ridiculous things at you, who seem completely intolerant, and tell you a lot of things you don’t want to hear. Believe me, I’ve had the same experiences before. I just wanted to let you know that true Christianity isn’t like that. Real Christians speak the truth in love, not anger or condemnation. For example, I told you that homosexuality is unbiblical, and it is. But I’m not going to scream at you and try to stuff it down your throat. What you do with any information is up to you; nothing that anyone says can ever change that. Christians are commanded to love one another, and actually tolerance (in the true meaning of the word, not the way that people mean it today) is a part of that in this sense.

We love others because we are loved by Christ. I know you said that you believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins – and that’s great! I believe that, too! But the awesome part is that it doesn’t just stop there. Jesus wants to have a deep, close relationship with you. He wants to be more than a “guiding spirit” in our lives, as you put it, even though He is that. He loves you with an unfailing, unconditional love, and if you believe in Him, then you will find that every single one of your sins are forgiven. Isaiah 53:5: “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” This is the amazing part for those who believe in Him, is that He doesn’t hold anything against you – not any sin you’ve ever done, are doing, or will do in the future. He’s completely removed it so that it is replaced with His righteousness, so that you are righteous in the eyes of God.

I know you say that you’re a Christian. You said that you think that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. But I don’t think you completely know what that means. Let me explain.

I know you’re angry. I know you struggle with certain sins. If we were to compare your life with the commands for living that God has given us, we would find that you’ve committed several offenses. Your life doesn’t match up with your claim to be a Christian. I know you have secret pains and a world of emotion that no one knows about. There’s a lot in your life that, when held up to God’s standards, seems unredeemable.

But I have wonderful news for you. There is no standard. What Jesus accomplished on the cross is freedom, as you told me that you believed – it means that you have been freed from your former life, your life of sin and shame, of guilt and regret, and that you are now bound to Christ.

He redeemed you with His blood; all you have to do is accept that. He died for you, and He wants you, He wants you to delight in His freedom and love and accept His forgiveness and redemption. But you push Him away because of the show that today’s so-called “Christians” put on.

Please, I know they’ve hurt you, but look at the truth. Look at what Christ has done for you. Don’t let others taint Christianity for you. Many will pervert what following Christ is supposed to be, and everyone will make mistakes sometimes. No one can be perfect. But turn your eyes to Christ, let Him be your example, and He will conform you to the image of His Son.

Child of the King

Can you imagine a life where rags to riches wasn’t a fantasy, but a reality? Peasants were turned to princes, ruin to royalty, nobodies and lowdown cheaters and liars were scrubbed clean and given a worthy label. Life was restored in the eyes of the dying, and the broken were healed. Can you imagine a world where this happened in a flash, at the sudden falling of chains and a cry of freedom? Where each day brought a new soul release and life?

I know of such a kingdom that exists. It is full of souls that used to be the lowdown cheaters and liars, the peasants, the broken and dying people.

I am a part of this kingdom of life and freedom; it breaks the chains of the slaves and enriches the hearts of the poor in spirit.  This dream, this fantasy – it is a reality.

All that requires is acceptance. It’s at the tip of your fingers, spelled out for you plain as day in the Book you might have on your desk in front of you.

But I know the struggle you face, the battle that’s raging in your mind.

You can’t accept this – this truth doesn’t apply for you. Your sins would scare the pastor from his pulpit, send the elders chasing you out of the church, right? Your secrets are enough to earn you eternal damnation, and you know it. No, this truth is better left for those who are actually deserving of such a sweet bliss.

But I have good news for you. This truth does apply for you – in fact, it was made just for you. See, the King knew your sins, before you ever did, and He knew the punishment that would bring for you.

He saw the liar that you were, covered in filth from head to toe, the way that your heart was hard and blackened against Him. He knew your secrets, your dark past, the thoughts that went through your mind by the minute. He saw the good-for-nothing beggar you were.

But beneath that, He saw you as His beloved child, His precious heir.

There was the matter of your punishment to be taken care of. You had broken His laws, and justice was in order. He had to let that punishment be resolved, because He is a just King. Death had to take place for what you did.

However. He didn’t want that death to be over your head, separating you from Him forever. He overflowed with love for you, so much so that He sacrificed His only Son, His beloved Son – for you. It was the only way to save you, to free you so He could hold you in His arms forever. The Prince of Glory had to die.

And so He did. He prayed that His Father would take the cup from Him, that He would spare Him this pain if possible. But the King knew that there was no other way; so He let His Son die.

Remember, this is all for you.

That isn’t the end of the story. The Prince of Glory rose again, conquering death itself. The price had been paid – you were freed! The death penalty no longer was held over your head. The debt was paid, regardless of how high the cost. Finally, you could be in His arms forever, in the arms of the One who loved you so, so much.

He looks at you, and He doesn’t see the stains of yesterday’s sin or the remnants of the sin from ten seconds ago. He doesn’t see the thoughts that will run through your head tomorrow, or the lie you’ll tell in just a minute. That’s all been paid for, removed, forgiven already.

And He wants you to believe it.

He doesn’t want you to keep living the life you have, running in the same circle, desperately trying to please Him and tearing yourself down with each failure. He wants you to see how much He, the King of Glory, loves you. He wants you to run into His arms, to let Him love you, and to be in awe at His amazing grace.

The King has made you, the little peasant, clean, with a worthy label, as His precious heir. You are forgiven and free, loved and cherished in His eyes.

This grace is not a dream or a fantasy – it is reality. I’m not making this up. It applies to you. You have gone from rags to riches, from a nobody to nobility.

You are a child of the King of Kings.

What Manner of Man is This?

First off, I’m sorry for neglecting this blog so much lately. There’s been a lot going on (I know that’s my excuse every time, but… just believe me), and I haven’t had much to write about. However, I found something to share today. It’s just a little something, but hopefully it will encourage you as it does me.

I was flipping through the Psalms this afternoon and writing down attributes and characteristics, I suppose would be the right words, of God. We as Christians hear that we serve a God like no other, but we don’t completely understand what that means, especially if you’ve grown up in the same circles as me. Our God is truly unlike any other god of any other religion. These things are just from the few Psalms I read through, and this is only a small list; there is so much more we could say about our God, but hopefully this is enough to put us in awe of who He is.

What kind of God do we serve, who:

• Pardons sins
• Forgives transgressions
• Does not stay angry
• Delights in showing mercy
• Is forgiving
• Is good
• Is abounding in love to all who call to Him
• Answers when we call
• Is great
• Is God alone
• Is faithful
• Delivers us from the depths
• Is compassionate
• Is gracious
• Is slow to anger
• Helps and comforts me
• Redeems our lives
• Crowns us with love and compassion
• Satisfies our desires with good things
• Works righteousness and justice for the oppressed
• Does not always accuse
• Does not treat us as our sins deserve
• Loves those who fear Him as high as the heavens are from the earth
• Removes our transgressions as far from us as the east is from the west
• Is clothed with splendor and majesty
• Covers us with His wings
• Gives salvation
• Is strength
• Is with us
• Is our refuge and ever-present help in trouble
• Is our shield
• Delivers us from all our fears
• Is close to the brokenhearted
• Saves those who are crushed in spirit
• Turns our wailing into dancing and clothes us in joy
• Comforts us as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death
• Is the King of glory
• Gives victory
• Rescues us because He delights in us
• Never forgets the needy
• Encourages the afflicted and listens to their cry
• Defends the fatherless and the oppressed

 

Now, tell me about another god who is anything like this. You can’t. We serve an amazing Father; He is God alone.

A Prince to Love You

So there’s this thing that people don’t know about me: I’m a strange romantic at heart. I don’t find pleasure in the overly-gushy romance – I won’t read romance novels, and Shakespeare’s portrayal of love is dramatically disgusting. I mean that my girly side draws me to the old fashioned chivalry, the selfless love. (I always knew I was abnormal, anyway.)

I was thinking over some of my choices of entertainment…

…Raoul goes through endless amounts of pain to save Christine…

…Lionheart faces multiple perils and dies for the best friend he betrayed…

…Will travels around the world twice over to rescue Elizabeth…

Before you leave because you’re so grossed out with me, I want to deliver the point I’m trying to make.

Think of the classic tale: the knight comes galloping in on his white horse to slay the dragon and win the hand of the princess. Got that picture in your mind? Okay, now contrast with today’s vision of love. (Picture any of the latest and greatest romance novels/movies, and you’ll know what I mean.)

What happened to love?!?!?!?!

Where did we get from the knight being willing to look death in the face and say that the princess is still worth it, to “hey he’s cute I think I’m in love”? What happened?!

What it is that I love about the characters I do is that they’re loyal. They’re devoted, dedicated. They’re willing to go through any and every trial because they’re willing to fight for the princess. Yes, they have their flaws. They’re not perfect. (And with the examples above, I totally see all their flaws and don’t excuse that. The heroines aren’t exactly perfectly moral, either. Just go with it for the sake of examples…)

But they’re not willing to give up just because it’s hard. They’re willing to lay down their life for the one that they love.

So, here’s where I begin my application.

Was I the only one who never really understood the whole “Jesus, Lover of My Soul” bit? I mean, yeah, He loves me… cool. But the whole lover-analogy, just, didn’t click. Until you start to analyze what we know as human love.

The traits I admire in the heroes of the story, the loyalty, the dedication, the selflessness, the all-consuming love – is found in Christ Jesus.

Does that sound weird at all? It still sounds weird even to me, just typing it out. But it’s true. And that would make us all a good deal happier if we could simply embrace it in our hearts.

We say “God is love”, but the word are hollow even in our own ears. God’s love is something that we read about in the Bible, but never really applies to us like we would wish for. We say that “He is enough”, but we’re not satisfied with Him. We keep searching and searching for something that will fill that need for true love in our hearts.

But apart from Him, we will never find something that will last.

On the contrary, we can love only because He has loved us. (1 John 4:19) Our idea of love has to come from somewhere… But for whatever reason, we reject it.

This should be eye-opening to us. God has His arms out wide, with so much love to lavish on us, waiting for us to run to Him and embrace it. And we turn our face away and curl up in our misery. And stay there. WHY?!?!?!?!?!

I know I’ve harped on His love for us more than ever before these past few months or so, but it’s something that we take for granted and don’t completely understand. (Not that we can ever fully understand God’s love… isn’t that so wonderful?!?!!!!)

People, you have to get it – God’s love isn’t dependent on how deserving I am of it. I guarantee you that the princess isn’t always worth the knight’s being scalded by the dragon. And yet, Christ, our Prince, is willing to face death itself, for me. He died for me. He slew the dragon, conquered death, and rescued me from the dungeon of sin and death.

He died to make me His bride, His princess. Now, I’ve not really been too keen on thinking myself to be one of those princess-y girls, but somehow this holds a different appeal. And it’s funny, because after I wrote this earlier this morning, I went to church, and the youth pastor talked about who we are in Christ. He talked about how Christ is our King, and that makes us technically princes and princesses. Maybe this would hold more meaning if those of you readers living in the States lived in a different country with a different legal system, but for now, try to picture what this really means in your minds, outside of old-fashioned illustrations.

I don’t know about you, but this excites me. You see, I know for a fact that I am not worth death. I am not worth slaying the dragon. I’m not worth going through hell for.

But Jesus thinks I am.

And that makes me happy. It should make you happy, too. Jesus thought you, with all of your flaws and imperfections, with all of your sins and scars, were worth dying for. I know it’s hard to believe, but once you grasp it, it’s so, so wonderful. He doesn’t see the things you see – He sees His child, His bride, His beloved.

Your Prince thinks you’re worth it to slay the dragon.

For the Sake of the Call

If You Need A Boost Today

Here’s a passage I’ve been coming back to for the past couple of days. Maybe it will encourage you, too.

 

 

Colossians 2:13-14:

13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you^d alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.

Flawless

It’s Song-Saturday! Just kidding. I heard this song shortly after posting the last video here, and I had to share this one too. So here you go! This is another song that really addresses where I’m at…

Just Be Held

I stayed up until 3:30 in the morning with a friend last Saturday talking about different aspects of the Christian walk and whatnot. She shared the lyrics to a couple Casting Crowns songs with me, and this was one that really reached me right where I am.

A Reminder For Our Evil Twins

What I’m going to say here is personal, but the truth in it I think is important enough to share with others I know who struggle with the same thing. It’s probably something that you’ve heard before, but I’m not going to try to introduce anything new here. I just want to give a reminder to anyone who might need it. And, as a girl, I write as such, but the basic truth here applies to everyone.

I look in the mirror, and looking back at me is a girl with long, straight hair, glasses, wide hips, and big feet. My waist isn’t the perfect thinness, my hair is stringy and has a cabillion split ends, and my overall frame is broadly-built. And I see other girls around me – perfect figures, perfect hair, perfect everything. For various reasons, it is impossible for me to ever meet the world’s standard of “beautiful”.

I’ve struggled for years with this; I’ve always resented accepting it as fact. I’ve never wanted to acknowledge that I can never look the way I wish I could. This battle has gotten me down multiple times.

What I’m gradually grasping in my heart is this – it doesn’t matter what the world says. Just because someone says something doesn’t mean it’s true. Who is the world to say what’s beautiful and what’s not? Who gave them that authority? Shouldn’t a Creator have ultimate authority over His creation? Shouldn’t the creation only care about their Creator’s standard of beauty, rather than the world’s?

It’s been said so often, it’s turned into a cliché (I hate it when that happens to truths): It doesn’t matter if you’re the most gorgeous person on the outside; it’s the heart that ultimately matters. I know, you’re rolling your eyes, but the validity remains. There are some people who are stunning in appearance, but have hearts that delight in evil and are far from beautiful in God’s eyes. And there are some who are more homely, less glamorous, whose hearts are overflowing with a passion and love for the Lord. (Of course, there are those girls who are drop-dead gorgeous and still have a heart for the Lord…)

Who I am on the outside does not place value on who I am inside. Just because I naturally have a broad build doesn’t mean that I’m worthless. Even though I don’t have the perfect waistline, I’m still treasured in God’s eyes, and my value in His eyes isn’t based off of my outward appearance.

It doesn’t matter what the world is telling us. What matters is what God says about us. And God says that He has fearfully and wonderfully made us (Ps. 139:14) and is conforming us to the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29).

God did not make a mistake when He made you. He didn’t make a mistake when He made me. I look in the mirror, and wrinkle my nose as my mind cries to the contrary, but the things that my evil twin tells me are not true. They’re all lies. I am made in the image of GOD! And so are you.

There is more to us than the numbers on the scale or the size of our clothes. I promise. God promises. There is so much more! Who we really are is found in Christ.

Count Your Many Blessings…

I was looking over the blessings I’ve written down from the past 10 months, and thought I’d share a few.

• God brings good out of bad situations
• Letters
• People opening up to me
• Winning a wrestling match with my brother (I’ve grown weak since then…)
• Kayaking
• People who trust me enough to ask me questions
• Dancing with my 2 year-old brother
• Sunsets
• Friends who care about doing the right thing
• God gives peace when we’ve had to let go
• Dreams coming true
• Getting to laugh and cry with a friend
• Healing
• Andrew Peterson music
• 2-hour long phone calls
• God’s amazing grace!
• Fresh spring air
• Friends who love me in spite of my darkest secrets
• The blood of Jesus Christ
• Insane love
• Beautiful moments that become precious memories

So I Have This Fear…

(Don’t you like how I get so fed-up with school that I end up posting something? I mean, who needs to know how to figure out the volume and surface of a pyramid anyway…) (On to the post.)

I’m afraid. (Of teenagers, huge spiders, the future, etc.) I’m afraid to try new things, to take risks and chances, because of one particular fear that I’ve let dominate my life: I’m afraid of failing. Why? I’m afraid of what other people think of me.

This fear literally controls my life. I am scared to death of not pleasing other people. It’s not wrong to care about what other people think of you… but I’ve taken it WAY too far. I turn down opportunity after opportunity after opportunity, because I’m afraid of failing where everyone can see. Activities, chances to make friends, answering a question in class… What if I mess up? What if I say something stupid? What if I get the answer wrong? EVERYONE WILL THINK I’M STUPID AND NO ONE WILL LIKE ME.

Have you ever had these thoughts? This is… my social life. (“Oh goodness, I sounded like a jerk, what will they think of me?” *starts going down long hill of self-beating-up-and-criticizing*)

People – this is a horrible (HORRIBLE) way to exist. Because, you see, the truth is that I don’t live for you. I shouldn’t live my life as if you were always inspecting the way I do my hair. I shouldn’t live as if every person on the planet is tallying up my every loud, obnoxious laugh. I shouldn’t live as if all human beings are scrutinizing my every move, grading my speech, and condemning my mistakes.

Because, my dear peoples, God didn’t create me for you.

He created me for Him.

I was created to glorify Him, to “live for an audience of One”, as I always heard it put. This means glorifying God with myself. Makeup on my face, my speech practiced and perfected, and every move calculated is not the way He made me to glorify Him. I have one purpose – to bring Him glory.

God finds glory in me being me.

And, my friend, God finds glory in you being you.

The Truth About You

I know you feel like a failure. I know you look in the mirror and see the ugly step-sister instead of Cinderella. I know it seems like you keep tripping up, always just out of reach from hope.

Believe me, I know.

But it’s not true. All the things you tell yourself, the voices in your mind whispering those nasty words – they’re all lies. Every. Last. Word.

How do I know this? Because of Romans 8:28-30.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

See, these verses are so, so amazing. There’s so much joy and hope to be found in these truths. So let me explain the truth about you.

First of all, we see that through all things, God works for the good of those who have been called according to His purpose. Through every good time, every bad time, every mountaintop and valley, every trial, He is working good out of the situation. There is hope for every dark night, every pain, every hardship… because we have been called, according to His purpose.

This is the second part of the beauty of that first verse: “who have been called according to His purpose.” This shows that it’s not an afterthought, or that He had sudden pity on a nobody and decided to show random compassion. He works good for us because we have been called. He has CALLED us. Is this not amazing?!

We also see that we have a purpose. We aren’t wandering about aimlessly, searching for a future and destiny. We have a PURPOSE. A God-given purpose. And the things that God works out of every situation are for our good, according to His purpose.

Moving on, we see that God has predestined us to be conformed to the image of His Son. This one gets to me big time. We are predestined (which is defined as: “to destine, decree, determine, appoint, or settle beforehand”) to be conformed (which is defined as: “to be similar to or the same as something”) to the image of His Son. Does this not just BLOW YOUR MIND?! We have been predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ! *insert squealing*

But wait – there’s more. Those who He predestined, He also called. Those He called… He also justified.

“Justified” is defined as follows: “to prove or show to be just, right, or reasonable.” This means that God has made us just, right, and reasonable to be presented before Him. (Your mind is officially blown now.)

Those He justified, He also glorified.

Don’t believe me? I refer back to Scripture. Yes, you read that right. Glorified. THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.

Tell that to that ugly step-sister when you see her. Tell that to the failure.

The ugly person in your mirror is glorified and predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ. The failure is justified and called.

Apart from Jesus, we are nothing. But through the blood of Christ, we are predestined, called, justified, and glorified. Praise the Lord – Hallelujah!

Why?

Hi. Sorry I’ve been neglecting blogging stuff. Life’s been pretty rough, and I haven’t really had much to say over here.

But I can’t forget about Easter. So while I posted this song last year, this remains my favorite song for this season, so this is as much as I’ll probably be posting this year. Hopefully next year, life will have calmed down, and I can post something more.

Healed – Nichole Nordeman

My God Is…

I am currently discovering something very sad and disturbing, yet freeing and joyous at the same time:

My view of who God is, and everything that entails, has been skewed for years.

I’ve tried to fit Him into the box of everything I wanted Him to be, and accepted everything I heard preached about Him; even though the entire time I never realized I was doing this. I reiterated what I was told about God’s character, and how salvation, works, freedom, etc. fit into that picture.

Unfortunately, you’ve probably heard all those same things. I can’t change your mind, but I will beg you to seriously mull over what I’m saying here, try to fully understand, and claim these truths as your own. The deep joy, peace, and love that we all hear Christians are supposed to experience, are all found here.

 

• My God is not a God of condemnation

 

Rom. 8:1-2, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

I have absolutely fallen in love with these verses, particularly the first one. There is no condemnation for me. Especially as someone who gets so caught up in and torn down by my failures, I find that concept so incredibly amazing.

God does not condemn me for my sins – they are completely forgiven; forgotten; gone. And instead of condemnation… I have received the righteousness of Christ.

Rom. 5:19, For just as through the disobedience of the one man [Adam] the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man [Christ] the many will be made righteous.

We are sinful from birth. (Ps. 58:3) From the beginning, we are bound to sin, as children of the darkness. However, there is good news for us.

Rom. 6:18, You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

We have been set free from sin! We are slaves to righteousness! As 2 Cor. 5:17 states it, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: the old has gone, the new is here! Our God is justification. He has removed our sins and justified us in His Son. Our God is reconciliation. He has reconciled us to Himself.

 

• My God is my Father

 

If we can truly accept this, it will be such an amazing comfort. Every thing our earthly father is to us, God is to us. This concept has really gotten to me recently, as I’ve thought over a few resemblances:

1. God loves us as His children.

Rom. 8:14-17, For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father“. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Gal. 4:6-7, Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father“. So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

2. God protects and provides for us.

Ps. 121 7-8, The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Luke 12:24, Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!

3. God disciplines us as His children.

Heb. 12:7, 9-10, Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? …Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

The discipline especially gets me. When we picture God as our Father, don’t we normally imagine a big pair of arms to just hold us and hear Him say He loves us? We don’t picture a good Father doing something we don’t like! Discipline isn’t enjoyable. (v. 11) But He finds it necessary for our own good, that we may share in His holiness.

 

• My God is sovereign

 

I’m not going to go down the Calvinism vs. Arminianism path, but I do believe in the sovereignty of God. The sovereignty of God is literally “God’s supreme power”.

I’ve been tested in my belief in this over the past year as I’ve faced trials. Surely God has left me; He couldn’t have allowed this to happen; God can’t be in control here.

But I still believe that my God is sovereign.

I don’t believe we can fully comprehend or understand the sovereignty of God; if we as humans with finite minds could understand an infinite God, what kind of God would that make Him?!

I do believe that my God is sovereign. It won’t always make sense to me, but God knows what He’s doing, in every area of my life. I may not understand, but my job is not to understand – it is to trust in His sovereignty.

 

• My God is personal

 

It’s taken me years to finally start to grasp that. He is our Father; He loves us enough that He died for us. His love didn’t diminish or change after He reconciled us – He still wants us, to be our first love, to be a part of our lives. Somehow, we’ve got it into our minds that we don’t need Him so much after we’ve been saved; thanks God, we can take it from here!

God isn’t just pleased with sitting on the sidelines and watching you live your own life. He wants to get involved! He wants to be our friend, to be our Father, to be our love, to be our help and salvation. There is so much depth to that that we miss, and try to fill with other human relationships. But it can’t be the same.

I’ve failed to see that in my own relationship with Him. I’ve subconsciously pictured Him as giving out directions and maybe giving me a hand to pull me back up when I fall for the 849734th time. But He’s not like that! His love for me is enough that He wants to hold me when I’m weeping, to discipline me when I go astray, to want me to let Him be my Father.

There’s so much about our God that we fail to see. We need to know Who it is that we’ve put our faith and trust in! Knowing our God changes our faith dramatically.

A Life-Changing Truth

I have titled this post “A Life-Changing Truth” because that’s exactly what I want to share with you today. There is one important truth that has the power to see you through every dark night, every valley, every stormy trial. It’s taken me way too long to realize, but I’d like to share it with you, that it can encourage you and carry you as you face each new day.

Let me paint you a picture of reality, where the world is full of people with a long list of expectations they have for you. They talk about acceptance, loving you for who you are, and meanwhile making mental checks of your faults and shortcomings. There are always a bunch of standards you must strive to meet, from being a “good” neighbor to a “good” friend, from a “good” sibling to a “good” son or daughter. If we don’t meet all the criteria, then basically, we’re just not good enough.

It’s exhausting to live in this world! I know it is! Yet, isn’t this how we live our lives? We constantly strive for something we are unable to obtain. Always working toward meeting these standards, trying to measure up to what is expected of us, we get burned out. We can never seem to meet every requirement, every expectations. We can never be or do enough.

So we live our lives like a hamster on a wheel, going in circles, desperately trying to reach something we will never be able to reach. Life becomes a dark hole; we’re trapped inside this endless cycle. We’re worn. We want to quit. Why bother with even trying if we will never reach it?

This mentality has, unfortunately, spread into Christianity. We try so hard to be a “good” Christian. We work will all of our strength to be everything we think God wants us to be. We never pray enough. We don’t read the Bible enough. We don’t give enough, serve enough, do enough. Enough for what?! For God to be happy with us? For Him to love us? Of course – surely He would be happy with us if we served the right number of hours each week and read 100 chapters every day. I mean, right? This is what we’re being taught, so it must be true… Right?

Wrong! God’s favor is not dependent on what we do. His love is not determined by how much we give or when we pray. Think about the logic of this for a minute. We were dirty, depraved sinners before salvation, completely helpless and unable to do anything on our own to secure or earn our salvation. And even still, God loved us in this state. (Rom. 5:8) He loved us regardless of our sins, regardless of our helplessness.

So turn the tables now. We are saved, and think of the mindset our churches have adopted and drilled into our heads. We must become more like Christ. To do this, you must follow this exact set of rules, all of the time, and work with every ounce of strength you have to be pure and holy, just as God is. If you by chance fail and sin, you must beg God to forgive you, to reconcile you and remove the sin that’s standing between you and Him, and work as hard as you can to essentially stop that sin in your life. Basically, your works are what earn you God’s love and favor.

What happened?! Before salvation, we were helpless, unable to earn anything by our works. But after salvation, something magically happens to make our efforts mean something, so that now we suddenly have the power to make God love us based on what we’ve done?

People, we have done nothing! God’s love for us didn’t change after salvation. Our abilities didn’t change after salvation. We are still incapable of earning anything by our works, and God’s love is still as unconditional and undeserved as it was before.

To try to be like Christ by our own works, to think we can achieve it by our efforts, is literally trying to sanctify ourselves. It will not work! We are human beings, flawed and imperfect; we will mess up – by this system, we will never, ever obtain that state of being just like Christ, pure and holy. Not by our own works. Sanctification is through the work that Christ alone is doing in us. (Phil. 1:6) He is the one who is perfecting us, shaping us, and making us more and more like Him.

Listen to this good news – we live in Christ. We don’t live as ones who are constantly trying to match up to standards, constantly falling to sin – we live in Christ. Literally. If you are a believer, you died to your sins, to the self that was born in sin, and you have been made alive in Christ. Literally.

So here’s the truth that will carry you through the dark nights and stormy trials. God isn’t waiting for you to get your act together, to do “enough”, or to meet a certain set of requirements to find joy in you. He isn’t judging you, giving you a list of standards, or waiting for you to fulfill all of His expectations. As His child, there is no condemnation for you. Read that again. There is no condemnation for you. He has already removed your sin – He no longer sees it. He really, truly loves you exactly as you are, as His beautiful, chosen child.

It’s called the grace of God. We don’t deserve it, but He has given it to us anyway. We don’t deserve to be called God’s children. We don’t deserve to have all of our sins erased forever. We don’t deserve such an unconditional, everlasting love. But it is all ours.

So while we live in a world who will shower us with expectations and standards, we can cling to a God who takes us exactly as we are. When it seems like we’ve failed yet again, we can remember that God does not count it as a failure. Oh thank you, Lord, for your wonderful grace!

 

Discombobulated Thoughts

I’d like to think that I make a difference. I’d like to believe I’m so much more than what I am. I’d like to know in my heart all the truths that people tell me.

But somehow, those words don’t come out of my mouth. For some reason, none of it is real to me.

It’s a long, hard fight towards believing in love, believing in grace.

I’d like to think I’ve got all the answers, so I can just pull them from my pocket when need be. I’d like to think I’m changing lives, carrying my sisters and brothers in Christ. I’d like to believe that God is using me to do amazing things.

But I’m stuck in a cloud of discombobulated thoughts.

The truth is there in my head, drilled into my brain by the repetitious years. There are moments when I feel like a hypocrite, spouting off words of truth that are supposed to reach the hearts of others even though they haven’t reached mine.

See, the truth is the truth, regardless of who delivers it and how. I know the truth, and therefore I have an obligation to fulfill in sharing the truth with others.

I watch people live out the truth, like they’ve got it all together. And I sigh. Surely, I think, I must be missing something.

But no. I am living out the truth.

My life might not be all together, and I may struggle on a daily hourly basis.

But if I live my life knowing that I am loved by God, I am still living out the truth. If I tell my sister in Christ that she is beautiful in God’s eyes, I am living out the truth. If I tell my brother in Christ that he is priceless to God, I am living out the truth.

No, I’m never going to be the poster girl for Christianity. (Go figure.) But I can still live out the truth, even if I struggle.

Prayer, Petition, and Thanksgiving

So, I promised y’all another post from Philippians. (Doesn’t “y’all” just sound *so* professional…) I went over Phil. 4:4 last time, so tonight I’d like to hone in on v. 6-7.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“

Now, I don’t know about you, but being anxious about everything is kind of my special gift lately. A few weeks ago, I was uber-stressed about a certain event taking place in my life, and I kept returning to this verse. Do not be anxious… And not just, “Do not be anxious”, but “Do not be anxious about anything.”

If you’re anything like me, you would have joined me in a good laugh. This is life we’re talking about here, Paul, and I’m sure the church in Philippi was getting a kick out of it, too. You can’t just say “Don’t be anxious about anything”. If you have anxiety, that’s just… that’s an impossible goal.

But Paul didn’t just say “do not be anxious about anything.” He knew what it was to be anxious, so he included a solution. He follows up with, “but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.”

In every situation. EVERY situation. In every situation you face in life, here’s what you do – present your requests before God by prayer, petition, and thanksgiving.

(And if you’re even more like me, you looked up “petition”, just to make sure your definition was still accurate, and they hadn’t changed the dictionary or anything…)

I put that on sticky notes and put them in my school books to remind me – prayer, petition, thanksgiving.

Now, on just a first glance, that doesn’t look so bad. We like this whole “prayer and petition” thing, but… what is “thanksgiving” doing at the end there?

I admit, I was just fine with the first two. Pouring out my requests before the Lord was easy, but I faltered when I got to thanksgiving. What am I giving thanks for, here? I don’t think anxiety and thanksgiving are synonyms…

But it links back to verse 4: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

And so I thanked God for the anxiety, for the troubles, for the trials. Because here’s the good news worth being thankful for- God has a purpose to accomplish through each trial. He didn’t just suddenly get bored and think, “Hmm, I’ll send Lauren a whopper of a stress-inducer today!” He has something He wants to teach me, something He wants to accomplish in me, and the only way He can do that is through a trial.

Here’s another cool part, though. Notice how Paul concludes here: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

WOW! So present your requests before God in this way, and He promises a peace that will guard my heart and mind, a peace that passes my understanding? Just, wow. What a promise!

And I felt it, too. I remember being with my mom in that stressful situation, and telling her that I felt peace, “but I don’t know why. But it’s there.”

It’s unexplainable. It transcends all understanding. And it’s a promise from God.

How amazing is our God!

Dearest Child of God,

I can see you hurting. You’re trying to shut the world out, trying to keep them from knowing the truth. You smile at them, telling them the truth that you yourself need to hear. You pull your act together to pretend that life is good, and the mask you wear hides the tears in your eyes. I know what you’re doing, because I’ve been there.

The world tells you that the darkness you feel is all in your head – it’s the way you perceive these trials. They tell you to get over it, to move on. But you can’t. It’s too deep, too real.

But you don’t let them know that. You keep living life in a lie, telling everyone that you’re fine, when you’re silently crying out for help. You live life as a masquerade, never letting anyone see who you really are.

I know what it’s like, because I’ve been there. And I know how badly it hurts. I know the pain of shutting everyone out, pretending that it’s all going to be okay. I know. And because I’ve been there, I know the things that you need to take to heart.

You can’t give up. You have to keep pressing on, keep fighting this.

Why? It hurts to fight! It’s hard to keep moving forward when your heart just wants to stop! Why would I tell you to not give up?

Because you are worth it. Dear, you are so worth it.

I know you don’t see yourself through the eyes of those around you. You don’t see the beauty that we see; you don’t see the warrior that anyone who bothers to look close enough can see in you. Your eyes are veiled by all the lies you’ve told yourself for so long. You look at your reflection and tell yourself all the things that the enemy wants you to believe.

But I can tell you that those things you tell yourself are not true. Because there is Someone far greater than the lies you believe, than the distorted way you see yourself.

He is the one who loves you. His love for you is like none you will ever, ever know here on this earth. It is so much deeper, so much greater, and it lasts forever. No matter how many lies you believe, no matter what you say or do, no matter how you may perceive or believe Him, He loves you so deeply.

He knows you are beautiful. It doesn’t matter to Him what the world says you have to look like – He finds you beautiful just as you are. Think about that for a moment: just as you are. Without trying to change you, without you being any different, without you having to behave a certain way or keep up a certain act. He wouldn’t want you to be any different than exactly how He’s made you.

On those nights when you’re crying alone, He’s holding you. In the moments when you want to just die, He’s not about to let you go. When you’ve failed yet again, He’s not holding it against you. He loves you for exactly who you are: the beautiful person that He’s made you to be.

Cling to that promise. Don’t give up – your Savior is at your side to dry your tears, tell you that you’re beautiful, and to lavish His love upon His dear child. Please, keep pressing on. Fight this fight. I know it’s hard. Believe me. But please don’t let go of the One who is holding you the tightest. You are worth it. Don’t give up.

What Happened to Our Church?

It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon here at my house, so I’ve sat down here with a mug of tea to write out some of the thoughts I’ve been having today. (Edit: I still haven’t completely learned to like tea. But I’m still trying to.) Before I get started, I just want to clarify that I don’t mean to condemn some of the ideas people have, or the lifestyles they live. These are just some observations that I’ve made recently, and I’m writing it out here. If you see anything you disagree with, or have any insight for me, PLEASE tell me in the comments! I would absolutely love to know someone else’s perspective on the topic of the church.

I don’t know about you, but I have been to SEVERAL churches in my lifetime, of both ends of our belief spectrum. I’ve been from the mega-church to the home church, from the uber-conservative-and-legalistic fundamental church to the rock ‘n’ roll party church. Throughout this whole experience, there has been something lacking at so many of these churches which I’ve been considering a lot today. Now, I know I haven’t been to every single church in the world. I can only make generalizations, albeit by a small sample. But I don’t believe that I have yet attended a church that practices some of the key things I see mentioned in Scripture.

What I’m going to talk about is what I see lacking in churches. I know that a lot of churches seem to have it all under control – they’ve got the awesome worship band, the large attendance, the overflowing offering plate, and the dynamic speakers. Right? Sure. But there is so much more depth lacking in today’s average church, I believe, and I wanted to just cover briefly some of my observations. (Edit: it’s not brief. But hey!)

I was looking through my Bible this afternoon, writing down some of the things that Paul wrote when he addressed the believers at the different churches. Here are a few that I wrote down:

• Encourage the believers through faith
• The body of Christ – function in unity; help one another
• Truly love each other; act in love
• To not judge another; be accepting of each other just as Christ accepted you

 

I realize that there is much, much more to a church, but these are a few things that stood out to me in my one afternoon of research. I know that no church is going to be perfect – the church is made up of humans, and we fail repeatedly, ever falling short. There is never going to be the perfect church. Yet these are still things that I think should be prevalent in a church, and have yet to see freely practiced.

To consider the first point, I’m inclined to believe that this is a very broad term for what Paul is asking here. It sounds rather vague, but I want to think about it a little bit in-depth for a moment. How do I encourage someone through my own faith?

I think of the whole reason I started this blog. My goal was not to preach at people, to bash certain groups of people, or just write for the fun of it. My ambition, my prayer, and my aspiration has been that through this blog, people will read of my failures, my beliefs, the whole story of my faith, and be encouraged or enlightened by it. By my faith – including my opinions, my understanding, and my beliefs on controversial topics – others may be encouraged during their own failures, through their own beliefs, and grow in their own faith. Not that I would ever try to be the model Christian, because I’m afraid that if I tried, I would fail miserably. As would you. All that I can do is set an example, whether it’s a good one or a bad one.

I used my blog as an example of encouraging a believer through faith, but there are so many other ways to do that. Be it by conversation, prayer, lifestyle – I hope you can see my point. But I consider this specific command to be an intentional encouragement, not simply something that we pray will just happen. I view it as actively trying to encourage others through our faith in whatever form it takes.

I don’t recall having seen this through my church-attending experiences. Maybe I’ve just missed it, or haven’t been there long enough to see it in action. But from the churches that I have been to for a decent period of time, I don’t remember people trying to encourage me through their faith. Now, I admit that I did gain a connection through the last church I was at for a long time who has encouraged me greatly through their faith. I have indirectly known people through a church that I have viewed as good examples because of their faith. But in comparison with every single other church in the pile that I’ve attended over the years, that should have been more prevalent, in my opinion. I would love to see a church body that deliberately encourages many through their faith.

As to my second point, I admit I haven’t seen much unity in the church, either. I have seen many people acting for themselves, but I have not seen the body of Christ functioning as a whole. I have seen gossiping and selfish intent, but I have not seen people acting in unity, for the benefit of one another.

I can only assume that this is attributed to selfishness. See, this part hurts me. When I picture the body of Christ, made up of all of His children, I see everyone in the church as one of my adopted family members. Is it not biblical? I believe unity is one of the key things to a thriving family, and when it’s not exhibited in the church, it takes away the aspect of the family of believers. The people of the church are supposed to be the ones who are there for each other, who act as the body of Christ – how is His body supposed to be divided against each other? It can’t be!

Again, I can’t definitely that this is the way it is with all churches. But I have heard it be a common complaint about the church, and I’ve seen some of it myself. When we become the center of our attention, then we lose sight of those around us. And it hurts those around us when we focus completely on ourselves. The body of Christ needs every member to function for the benefit of others, rather than ourselves, to function in unity.

My third point – truly loving one another. When I say true love, I’m talking about something that we hardly ever see happen even outside of the church. I mean a selfless, sacrificial love. What’s so outstanding about this isn’t just that we rarely see this in action, but that it’s hard. It’s so hard to love people sometimes, especially as Christ loves us. And yet, we are called to do it.

Consider for a moment the people in the church that you believe truly love you, with that selfless and sacrificial love. Now exclude the ones that you consider to be friends. Who are you left with?

I’m talking about loving others outside of a friendship. We tend to associate this kind of true love being inside of a close relationship, but it doesn’t even have to be. To truly love someone doesn’t mean that you have to be friends with them first. It doesn’t mean you have to be friends at all. To truly love is to love as Christ loves each of His children.

And I fail to see this happen, probably more than my other points. We all want to be loved, but when it comes for us to pay the cost of truly loving others, we pass it up. We are desiring of a true love, but we are unwilling to exhibit it to our fellow believers in Christ. This is something that I very much wish was more prevalent in the church as a whole.

And lastly, that little bit that always seems to get thrown back in our faces at some point – judging others. For this post, I’m not talking about just judging people in general; I’m talking about judging fellow believers. Can you believe that this is actually very well-known in the church? *Gasp* I know, it’s shocking, but it’s true. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, and many of the people that we know have done it too. It’s something that comes natural to us, like a built-in self-defense mechanism. We’re so quick to judge someone if it’s something that’s not in our favor, or offends us in any way. It’s like a second nature to us, naturally. But it’s something that Christ instructs us not to do!

What Christ does instruct us to do is to accept others the way that He has accepted us. That’s something that doesn’t come like a second nature. Our judgmental minds fight the idea of acceptance. It’s easy to accept someone that doesn’t offend, has the same values, and has similar ideas about things that you do. But when someone comes along who differs in many aspects from you, has a few outlandish ideas that need some refuting, and says something you don’t like, you’ll be the first person to jump on them and start judging them for what they’re doing.

Here’s the thing, though. Judging has its positives and its negatives. For example, if I were to see you helping some kid who had just gotten hurt, I might assume that you’re a caring person, just based off of that event. That would be a positive judgment. The kind of judging we’re talking about here is the kind of judging that most people think of, the negative kind. As children of God, we don’t want to beat down our fellow believers with judgment and negativity. This is the kind of judgment that we don’t want to have, that we want to replace with acceptance.

Acceptance is a hard thing, however. Believe me, I know. It’s hard to accept someone for who they are sometimes, especially if it’s not in your favor. Which is why it’s so common to see a lack of acceptance among the believers in the church.

Your mask may get accepted – the show you put on when you’re at church on Sundays might be accepted without any judgment. But it’s different when people find out who you really are, and therein lies the true heart of the people who make up the church.

Now, after all of this, I haven’t been trying to bash the church. Not at all. These are simply a few things that I have noted that our churches seem to be void of.

The Potter

I know I promised another post on the passage in Philippians, and I’m working on it, but here’s a short little post I’ve been mulling over lately.

I have an evil twin – no joke. She always reminds me how different I am from others, of how I’ll never match up, of how ugly I am, etc. (Thus what makes her evil.) I see her everyday when I get ready in the mornings, looking at me in my mirror, as she glares at me skeptically and critically. I try to tune her out, but she has a loud, overpowering voice.

Needless to say, I listen to her. A lot. She tells me that my value and worth comes from a certain clothing size, a certain look, a certain way of living – and I buy it all. She’s brainwashed me into believing that my value does not come from who I really am, but by the primped mask I wear to cover it all up. And I’ve believed the whole thing.

She gave me several hard beatings these past couple of weeks, and I buckled under all of her lectures. I gave in, and accepted her words as truth. My evil twin made me weep as I realized I would never meet the expectations she laid out before me.

But as I was looking for a particular verse in my Bible recently, I came across one that caught my attention. Is. 45:9b, “Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘The potter has no hands’?” This made me recall Romans 9:20, “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? ‘Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,  “Why did you make me like this?”’”

And so I started thinking. This message was the complete opposite of what my evil twin was telling me – these verses rebuked me for my mentality. I am clay in the Potter’s hands; who am I to talk back to Him, and ask how He could make me like this? He is the grand Potter, fashioning me into whatever He pleases. I am small and insignificant; how dare I say that He made a mistake when He formed me?

These verses, however, show me that I was made with a purpose, made with a design. I was formed – I wasn’t just a lump of leftover clay. He didn’t make any mistakes with me; He created me EXACTLY as I was meant to be, without any slip-ups. He has made me the one Lauren S. out of the whole world. (Yes, even the glasses and big feet are a part of the whole package.) But I am to rejoice in who He made me, because I am made with a purpose. I was designed, and formed by the grand Potter.

The same goes for everyone else out there who compares themselves, regardless of what it is you compare yourself to. You’re special – you really are. God made you exactly as He wanted you to be, without any mistakes or flaws. He loves you for who He made you to be, and He wouldn’t want you any other way. Why should you want something different? Do not question the Potter.

Rejoice!

Most people are well familiar with these verses, I know, but I’d like to share my thoughts on this particular passage, of which I’ve been reading over and over again this week and last. It’s been a hard past few weeks, and this passage somehow keeps drawing me back. I’ve been doing some thinking about some of these specific verses.

Philippians 4:4-7, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The first thing that strikes my mind is the very first verse, as I’ve already mentioned I’ve been going through some harder stuff recently, and I’ll focus on this one primarily today. I’ll get to other parts of the passage hopefully soon. Meanwhile, I admit that that’s been a concept rather far from my mind – I’ve just been trying to survive, not rejoice!

Now I’ll be one of the first to tell you that I don’t like it when people shove that cliché statement at me. “During the hard times, just rejoice! REJOICE REJOICE REJOICE!” Usually, it only makes it worst, quite honestly.

But the fact of the matter is, it’s still a truth that I must live out in my life.

Rejoice – always? Even when life disappoints you? Even when darkness surrounds you? Even when you’re so overwhelmed you can hardly move?

Yes.

Paul places a definite emphasis on this concept of rejoicing, which I find interesting. He states it not once, but twice, finding it important enough to bear repeating. Rejoice in the Lord… always. He doesn’t give exceptions here. He doesn’t write, “Unless you’re dealing with this issue,” or “Unless you’ve got this going on over here.” Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

We wrinkle our noses at such a thought. When the tears are falling and don’t seem to stop, and life is overwhelming and it makes me want to quit, I don’t see anything to rejoice about. When life stinks, it’s hard to rejoice. It’s just a fact.

But Paul isn’t asking them to try to rejoice. He’s not bribing them, begging them, pleading with them. He states it simply, matter-of-fact: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

The truth of it is, we do have reason to rejoice, even during our darkest hour. We may struggle to remember, struggle to see what we have to rejoice in. But that doesn’t change it.

We have the love of our Father to rejoice in. We have the truth of His grace and mercy to rejoice about. His goodness, His undeserved gift of salvation, His freedom – this is what we can rejoice about. Because even in those dark moments, even when we want to throw in the towel and give up on life, He loves us. That never changes. His love for us is something that will carry us through the mountains and the valleys, something that will never die or fade away. We have our Lord Jesus Christ to rejoice in, even through the trials.

Beautiful Insanity

My God is insane.

Yes, I can hear you shrieking. “The conservative, teenaged blogger called God insane! May she be struck with a mighty lightning bolt…!”

It’s true. My God is insane.

For thousands of years, the people wandering this earth have practiced stealing, murder, deception, lust, coveting – you name it. Nasty, vile sins; thousands of people over thousands of years, repeating all the sins of those who came before us. Over and over, we’ve committed despicable sins, sneering at God, cursing His name, and rejecting His supremacy.

They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (Rom. 1:29-32)

This is us! Filled with wickedness, evil, greed and depravity, envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice – this is our race. We as humans are born as gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful… and we see that the list goes on.

All of those things, are us? Yes. Wicked? Yes. Depraved? Yes. God-haters? Yes. We even know God’s righteous decree, and we continue to do these very things.

For years, I have committed many sins. I am as wholly guilty as all those who came before me. Over and over I’ve sinned, rejecting God, ignoring the beauty of the cross. I inherit the sins of envy, malice, arrogance… and we see that the list goes on.

But here’s where the insanity of my Lord applies.

My Jesus washed it all away.

The all-powerful, pure, perfect, holy Lord, looked down on slanderous, malicious, evil little me, and called me according to His purpose. He predestined me to be conformed to the image of His Son.

The all-powerful, pure, perfect, holy Lord, justified the slanderous, malicious, evil creature named Lauren.

Through Christ’s death on the cross, I have been made His child.

I know – it’s insane, isn’t it?! It’s just insane that the holy, almighty, divine, sinless Lord, would make such a dirty, rotten sinner His beloved child!

And yet, this is what my God does. He loves me so deeply… unconditionally… it’s just unfathomable. He doesn’t hold my sins before me – He washed them all away with His blood!

This is why my Lord is insane. His beautiful insanity has saved a wretch like me.

Jesus Loves Me

MY JESUS LOVES ME!

“Uh, yeah, Lauren… c’mon, even the five-year-olds know that much,” I hear you say, rolling your eyes.

No, you don’t understand – My Jesus, my Savior, my Redeemer, the sovereign, almighty Lord, King of Kings, Prince of Peace, Creator of the universe, all-powerful, all-knowing, just and mighty God in heaven, loves ME.

I am a sinner. My life is stained and scarred by stupid choices, foolish actions, sins left and right. Wallowing in sin, it’s pretty much pointless. Why would anyone love me? I’m just a dirty, rotten sinner.

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:8)

He loves me despite my sin! He loves me regardless of my past, my present, and my future! He doesn’t see my sin, the stains, the scars, the stupid choices and foolish actions. He sees His beloved child, adopted through His Spirit. He sees the one He’s conforming to the image of His Son. He loves me for who I am, not for what I’ve done or what I will do. He loves me.

What kind of love is this? Why would such a mighty, powerful Lord love such a lowly, dirty, filthy sinner?

Because this is my SAVIOR! My Lord would love someone like me! He made me His child – His perfect, justified heir. The Spirit HIMSELF testifies! There is no condemnation for me, because I have been set free through Christ Jesus!

When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive in Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. (Col. 2:13-14)

Hallelujah! He has forgive all our sins, canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which condemned us, and NAILED IT TO THE CROSS. What kind of God would do that for a wretched sinner?

My SAVIOR! He loved me enough to do that! I was dead in sin, but I have been made alive in Christ. What sort of God would make new creatures in Him, simply out of an unfathomable love for His creation? Not any god you’ll find outside of the Bible. This sort of amazing love, amazing grace, comes from my Redeemer, my Lord, my Savior, my God.

How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast, beyond all measure – that He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure!

 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. (Eph. 5:8)

From My Redeemer

Dearest Priceless One,

 

Stop running.

I know you want to hide; I know life is hard.

But stop running from Me.

If you would just stop and turn around, you would find My arms stretched out for you, waiting to hold you.

If you would let down your guard, if you would just drop your defenses, you would see My grace.

If you would simply stop fighting Me, if you would stop rejecting the love I lavish on you, you would feel the depths of My unconditional love toward you.

You are Mine, and I cherish you always. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate you from My love. Nothing that you do can make Me love you less.

My love for you is so incredible, so incomprehensible, so extraordinary. Yes, you are a filthy rag, stained by sin and bearing the scars of your past. Yes, you are undeserving of anything but punishment, of eternal death.

But My love has overlooked all of your past, all of your sins. My grace has made you a new creation. The chains of sin are gone; you have been set free. You are beautiful, and you are Mine.

So stop running. Why are you running away from My love, My grace? Stop running, and fall into My arms.

How Do You Want to Be Known?

Hey guys. Sorry it’s been a while. I’ve had a ton of crazy stuff happening in my life over the past few months, so I’ve really neglected y’all here. I know that lately I’ve done a lot of short stuff, things that aren’t really deep or quite as serious. I’m sorry about that. I haven’t had the time or desire to write anything longer – but I had the time this past weekend, so I thought I’d get something out. I’m working on trying to get stuff up here, it’s just taking a little time. Prayers for me would definitely be appreciated! Anyway, here’s your post.

I’ve heard sermons preached before about “the girl” from 2 Kings 5, who was a captive from Israel, serving Naaman’s wife. You probably have, too. About her submission, her diligence, respect, etc., etc… One of the messages I heard about her was early one Sunday morning about three years ago, in the women’s Sunday school. (I was reminded of this by looking through old church notes – and discovered that that was the morning when I scribbled out a poem during the message. But hey, I still learned something!) The point of that particular message was about living with a purpose. Which is sort of what I want to talk about today.

I’m going to ask you a question, and you don’t have to actually answer me, but I want you to think about it in your head for a good, solid minute. Here it is: How do you want to be known?

Think about it. How do you want to be known? How do you want people to think of you, to talk about you?

Of course, if I’m going to pose this question to you, I need to actually think of an answer for myself.

I want others to see me as overflowing with the love of Christ, a beautiful new creation, a deeply caring, true friend, a passionate warrior, a humble slave… the list goes on.

Self-evaluation quiz: Where am I on those goals?

*crickets chirping in background*

 Can you relate?

I’m so, so, so, sooooo very far from reaching those aspirations. They seem so far from reach, especially when I’m in the dark valleys that life pitches at me. Considering the place I’m in right now, it definitely seems farther than ever before.

But I can’t let this stop me.

I have this rather common condition that you might suffer from, as well. It’s called universal comparisonism. (I just made that up, actually.) I compare myself with just about everyone. And guess what? I fall short of just about everyone.

But I can’t let this stop me.

Next to universal comparisonism is universal discouragementism. I get discouraged. I feel like quitting. The long, seemingly-laborious toil of day after day after day getting it wrong while trying to get it right, can be very discouraging. It’s very disappointing when we don’t reach a goal after trying so, so hard to reach it.

But I can’t let this stop me.

Why not?! I’ve got all these things going against me. Why should I try to be something that clearly I’m not?

Because Christ asks these things of me. It’s my purpose – to strive to please Him. I should show the love of Christ. I should be seen as a beautiful new creation by His work (and His work only!). I should be a deeply caring, true friend. God asks for passionate warriors. He demands humble slaves. And His list goes on.

2 Pet. 1:5-7, “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection (or brotherly love, as I think the KJV puts it); and to mutual affection, love.”

*flips over to 2 Tim. 2:22 – I love hearing the crinkle of the pages in a Bible*

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”

And there are more commands in Scripture.

See, without commands from Christ, we’re sort of living in limbo land – not for sure what to do with our life. What’s the purpose of living if there’s nothing to live for? Why would you just breathe air, without trying to accomplish anything? And if Christ has given us things to strive for, things to pursue and to add to our faith, why on earth shouldn’t we pursue these things?

How do you want to be known? Do you want to be known as the most athletic, the most talented, the most beautiful, the most popular? Or… do you want to be known as someone who is using their life to serve the Lord, to seek to honor Him in all that they do, and though they fail, they continue to pursue the things He asks of us?

Dunno about you, but I’ll opt for the latter.

I don’t know how I’m known as now, but I’d much prefer being known as a warrior of Christ who is trying to add all of those things to my faith, who is fleeing the evil desires of youth, and pursuing all the things that please Christ. Of course I’m going to mess up – in fact, I’m going to mess up every day. But by the grace of God, I hope to have the strength to get back up on my feet and continue fighting on the battle front to honor Him.

And by actively seeking these things, I will be known by such.

Sunshine Blogger Award (Secret Confessions of a Teenage Blogger)

(This is a scheduled post… I’m finally getting that figured out!) (Also, there are more serious posts coming. I promise. It’s been a little hard around here lately, and I haven’t gotten much serious writing done. But there IS a post in the cue for this week… so, yeah.)

 

So! I’ve been nominated from Sam Wegner over at Love Out Loud for the Sunshine Blogger Award. The rules are:

1. Give your thanks to the blogger who gave the award to you (Thank you, Sam!)
2. Include the bright yellow picture in your blog post
3. List 7 facts about yourself
4. Nominate 5 other bloggers that you respect and let them know by posting a comment on their blog. *scratches head while considering the following paragraph*

 

Ahem. I owe everyone (including Sam) an apology, I believe. Already knowing very few bloggers, I wasn’t entirely sure who I should nominate. I came up with a few people, but then it turned out that they were already nominated by others. So, I’m at a complete loss now of who to nominate. But I told her I would do it, so I’m still going to go ahead with it. Please, please, if anyone reading this wants to do it, PLEASE. Do it. I already feel bad for not being able to nominate people on the last random post I did, and this is just another repeat. So I apologize for not being able to officially nominate people.

 

Another note. I’ve kind of decided to make this like the equivalent to one of those “confessions” type posts, where I dash my beautiful, pristine, online appearance. Seven confessions facts about me. Just in case there were some misunderstandings. Here we go. (P.S. I can be sort of long-winded at times.)

 

1. I am NOT perfect. Whaaat?! I know, I know, y’all probably didn’t know that. Me? Not perfect? It’s hard to believe… Just kidding. It’s the truth – I’m not perfect. Not anywhere close. However, this is where the beauty of God’s love shines through. Because I am far from perfect, I cannot save myself. And because His love for me is so great, and He knew I was not perfect, He provided salvation for me anyway. Isn’t that awesome?!
2. I frequently struggle with trusting God. Saywhaaa? Yes. Very sadly I admit, I am very much a “see-it-to-believe-it” person in many ways. I have a hard time just accepting that there are things beyond my control, things that I can’t see or know. So trusting that God has things in His hands is more of a frequent challenge than it should be.
3. I battle with loneliness, too. Knowing people doesn’t mean you *know* them. It doesn’t mean that they’re always *there*. It doesn’t make them your friend. However, there is Someone who is always there without fail. He never leaves us, or forsakes us. This is Jesus Christ, the One who loves us unconditionally. And this is one of those things I have to remind myself of over, and over, and over, and over, and over again.
4. I ask why. A lot. It sort of links back to the whole trust thing. It’s on those nights when you’re curled up on your bedroom floor, crying your eyes out, when you ask, why? Why did God let this happen? Why did He have to do this, or that? Why? WHY? And most of the time, we get a very reassuring, comforting, “Not yet. You’re not to know just yet.” Which makes us ask, “WHY?” Yet regardless, we’re called to have trust, and to walk by faith and not by sight. (Whether we like it or not…) Sometimes, we won’t get the answers we want to hear when we ask why. Sometimes, we won’t even get answers at all.
5. I’ve held grudges. Over, and over, and over again. Forgiveness is not my strong suit. When someone hurts me, it takes a little while for me to come around to truly forgive them. I admit, I’m ashamed of this fact. I don’t naturally just forgive people the split second after they do me wrong. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them, but when someone hurts me, it hurts bad. And God gave me several situations with forgiveness last year. So – I’ve now had a lot of experience. 😉
6. I haven’t been a great friend. I’d like to think that I do a better job than I actually do. Especially this past year. For someone who values friendship so highly, you’d think I’d be a little better at it! I’ve neglected relationships, been rude, haven’t been there when people have needed me, and the list just keeps going. And yet, for all the ways that I’ve messed up, there are still some crazy (I didn’t just type that) awesome people who have put up with me for quite a while now.
7. I am selfish. Wow, that was a no-brainer. But still. I think there are some days when I forget that life revolves around God rather than me. I have a selfish heart. It is only by the grace of God that He would be willing to love someone who is as selfish as I am. And so I thank Him all the more for it.

 

 

 

Social Media of Terrorist Visa Applicants

Hey y’all! Here is a new blog started by Ryan S. (from over at A Message for the Messenger), and here’s his first post!

God's Law and Order

On December 2nd, San Bernardino was a victim to a terrorist attack. Fourteen people were killed in the attack. But I’m not here to write about the attack; I’m here to write The losses of brothers, sisters, parents, or children was grieved nation-wide, by every American citizen abroad. But our great country of America did absolutely nothing about it afterward. What do I mean? There is a Governmental policy that limits their investigating agents. When an immigrant seeks a visa, the American government does a background check on that person. However, they are not allowed to check their background online – over social media. “During that time period immigration officials were not allowed to use or review social media as part of the screening process,” says John Cohen, a former acting under-secretary at DHS for intelligence and analysis.
As John Cohen again put it, “Immigration, security, law enforcement officials recognized…

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Names of God

I did a post like this in the earlier part of last year, with maybe three or four names. But I was looking through Rose Book of Bible Charts, Maps & Time Lines (sounds boring, but it’s one of my favorite factual books to go through), and I found a list of the names of God. Some of these are SO comforting! So I thought I’d share some.

 

• ADONAI – The Lord My Great Lord
• EL SHADDAI – The All Sufficient One, The God of the Mountains, God Almighty
• EL ELYON – The God Most High
• JEHOVAH-MEKADDISHKEM – The Lord Who Sanctifies
• JEHOVAH-SABOTH – The Lord of Hosts, The Lord of Armies
• JEHOVAH-SHALOM – The Lord is Peace
• JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH – The Lord is There, The Lord My Companion
• JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU – The Lord Our Righteousness
• EL ROI – The God Who Sees Me
• EL – The Strong One

 

 

(Editor’s note: This is my 100th post for Defying Depravity! Whoop, whoop!)

Blessings, Blessings, and More Blessings

Hey y’all. I know, I don’t usually post twice in a day, but tonight is one of those nights that I really need to remember how awesome my life is. God has blessed me a lot a TON, and so when I’m down, I need to focus on how great I have it, rather than the stuff that gets me down. So here are a few ways that God’s blessed me recently, even though they might seem odd to you. I’d love to hear how He’s blessed you, too!

• His promises of peace, healing, and that He will never leave us
• Sharp pencils and blank paper
• A mild winter (so far…)
• Plenty of good food
• Love and loyalty
• Playing games with my brother
• Clumsily dancing to loud music
• Laughter
• People who really care. They’re very few.
• Warm socks
• My warped sense of humor. Comes in handy sometimes.
• Blessing others
• Beautiful pictures
• Psalms – it’s like there’s a different Psalm for each mood I’m in!
• AP music…
• A supportive family
• Rainbows after storms
• The promise that though we will face many troubles in life, Jesus has already overcome the world
• My actions do not define who I am – my worth is found in Christ

 

My Life

My life is a series of awkward moments. And mistakes. And failures.

But it’s like reading a book – you’re always wondering what’s going to happen next. Whether or not you look forward to it or not is beside the question; you live a story, and each season is a chapter.

Some chapters are happy, some sad, some action-filled, and some just leave you hanging. But each is crucial to the unity of the story.

You can’t just skip over the boring chapters, or the sad ones, or the non-exciting ones. Each is necessary; without them, the story is not complete.

Such is my life. While my idea of an exciting chapter is something far from what I’m doing now, I have to live my life as a story. I have the little things to anticipate each day, and I have to live one chapter at a time. No matter how dark, how depressing, or how sad and lonely, I have to keep reading. I have to keep going on.

But there is a hope for my book, for my specific chapter. There is a hope that comes in the form of a rainbow. After each storm, filled with darkness, rain, and cold, there is a rainbow. That rainbow is the promise of light, of love, of happiness. And I have to finish my stormy chapter before I can read the next one with the rainbow.

Usually in a story, the main character learns a lesson or two by the end of the book, is a new man because of it, and has made an impact on others for the better along the way.

I’d like to say that’s my ideal ending to my epic tale.

But I can’t flip over to the end of this book. I’m having to live this life out one chapter at a time. And God will give me the grace, courage, and strength to keep going.

Great Post

I thought this was an exceptional post, with great reminders and truths for us to remember through the trials we’ll face this next year.

 

http://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/seeing-beyond-the-suffering-this-year.html

Not I, But Christ

To some, I’m just another blogger. To some, just another teen, another face on the street, another quiet girl. To still others, I’m a sibling, a daughter, or a friend. Some see me through judgmental eyes, seeing me as “holier than thou”. Some see the true me, flawed and far, far, far, far, far from perfect. However you see me, whether by choice or by circumstance, I have one small hope.

I pray that you would see me not as another girl, another human, a friend, blogger, or chocoholic. I pray that instead, you would see me as a reflection, a signpost, a mirror, turning your gaze from who I am to the Creator of heaven and earth. I hope that when people see me, they do not see my life, my choices, my words or actions; I hope that when they see me, they will see Christ through me. I pray that they will see that the stupid choices I’ve made have been used by God for His glory, the errs both accidental and intentional twisted to show His grace and forgiveness, His mercy and love.

Mistakes, I have plenty. Wrong choices ever abound. Foolish words, stupid actions, and scars of sin mark my life. But it is my prayer and hope that despite who I am, despite these imperfections, and despite my sin-stained life, that through these imperfections and sins I can be a light that shines so brightly that it can’t be denied, pointing the way to Christ. Not that I may continue to sin, but that through the sins I have committed, it can be shown that Christ forgives and loves me all the same. I hope that it can be seen in my life how incredibly marvelous God is, how remarkably amazing and unfathomable His power and might is, and how greatly He loves His children. I hope that my life can be a testimony of His healing grace and mercy that washes away all record of sin. That is what I pray the story of my life can be. I hope people can see my life, etched with sin, and say “the Lord has worked in her life in mighty ways! See how marvelous He is!”

There are people I know whom I have seen the Lord do great things with, in which I have seen His hand at work in their lives. There are people I have seen who are not shining brightly for His glory, who try to live a life separate from the Lord. I have seen myself do things that honor Him and things that do not. I have made some very poor, foolish choices, and I have spurned His love over and over again. Yet, despite it all, I know that God takes the broken, dirty, old things and turns them into whole, beautiful, new creations. I pray that He will use this worn, sinful heart to do amazing things, to be a testimony of His love and redemption.

This is what I pray that my life would be seen as. Yes, you will see my imperfections and my sins. I am not excusing the things that I do that break God’s law and do not bring Him glory. In no way would I try to justify that; that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I simply hope that you see the sins in my life as the sins that God has washed away with the love of His blood, and see that He can do the same for you. I pray that you will see the scars of sin that I bear as a testimony that He truly does make all things new.

Merry Christmas

Hey y’all. Sorry I’ve slacked in writing here, I’ve been pretty busy and stressed with a lot of different things going on in my life. But I can’t forget about Christmas!

I don’t have an outstanding, knock-your-socks-off Christmas post, so sorry to disappoint you there. Go check out other awesome blogs if you want great Christmas posts, because I can’t provide one for you today. (i.e. this post) Or go read my post for Christmas last year. 😉

I wasn’t ready for Christmas this year. It just sorta came out of nowhere… And I haven’t done much to really appreciate this holiday celebrating the birth of our Savior. I *have* listened to Christmas music, however. Now, I’ll admit it, I hate most Christmas music. It’s honestly really irritating to me. Nevertheless, I love this particular version of this song. (And this song led to an unhealthy addiction of Peter Hollens’ music… I have a weird thing about guys singing a cappella.)

Again, I’m sorry for my absence here. I hope to get back to it within the next month or so. Thanks for being patient with me! Merry Christmas!

Are You Alarmed Yet?! (Pt. 2)

In my last post, I posed a few questions that are crucial to apologetics, which is defending our faith. The point was to try to show that we don’t really know that as much about what we believe as we’d like to think. While this video is an advertisement for a particular Bible, I’d like you to focus on the response that the teenagers give to the questions they’ve been asked. This is how we have grown up, and this is how we are “defending our faith”. Hopefully you will see that we need to have the knowledge to be able to truly defend our faith as Christians, to firmly assert what we believe.

Are You Alarmed Yet?! (Pt. 1)

I had the pleasure of going to an apologetics conference this weekend. (One of the blessings of living in a country that originally advocates religious freedom.) I’ve also been doing a lot of apologetics work in my speech club, so I’ve spent a good deal of time (I could probably safely say that I’ve spent quite a few hours over the past few months now) in researching what I believe. All of that to say, I’ve discovered something very alarming about what I believe, and that is this:

I don’t know why I believe what I believe.

There, I said it. No Christian blogger is supposed to say that, right? I mean, how could I admit to such a thing? The fact is, I profess to be a Christian. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, died for my sins, redeemed and reconciled me, etc., etc., but honestly, how much of the details to these things do I know? Am I just simply believing what I’ve been told? The horrendous fact is that I have. It’s true that I do know many reasons for why I believe what I believe. I’m not completely ignorant. But if I were to get into a conversation with an adamant atheist tonight, I’m not sure how well I’d be able to persuade them that Christianity is true. I’m pretty ignorant about the “why” of some key aspects of my faith. And more than likely, you are too.

We take our faith for granted. We’re willing to accept so much. Of course, I’m sure you and I have both done a considerable amount of research regarding certain aspects of our faith. I’ve been raised to think analytically (even skeptically) and to think things through, so I wouldn’t be quick to admit that I don’t know the details to what I believe.

It’s not that we don’t know what we believe. We do. It’s that we don’t know why we believe it.

That’s why I want to take a minute in this post and ask you to answer some questions. These are real questions we will face when talking about our faith with others – I didn’t make these up. Take a few minutes (or an hour…) and humor me. Don’t pull out your concordance. Don’t pull out your Bible. Don’t whip out Wikipedia or Google. Answer these questions with the knowledge you already have in your head, as a comment below. And see what observations you’ve made when you’re done.

 

• Is the Old Testament a reliable historical document?
• Are Scriptures and science in conflict?
• How would you respond to the statement, “It doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you’re sincere”?
• What evidence is there for the resurrection of Jesus?
• Why did Jesus have to die to provide salvation for men?

Encouragement

I have to say first that I am sooo grateful to be able to post this. This is an email that a friend of mine sent me the other day, and it really blessed me and hit home with me. It was a big encouragement, and I hope it can encourage you, too. I was also really blessed to get permission from this person to post this, too. 😉 Here is what they said:

 

“So I am reading this book called Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I read something that just made me so happy and also made me think of you. So I was thinking about how we both struggle with feeling like failures and worthless beings sometimes and I was thinking how we also both tell ourselves the truth, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Well, I read the following, ‘God has willed that we should seek and find his living Word in the witness of a brother, in the mouth of man. Therefore the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother man as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation. He needs his brother solely because of Jesus Christ. The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure.’ It’s like this, Lauren, God made us that we would need our brothers and sisters in Christ to uphold and encourage one another. One can speak the same words of truth to oneself as someone else speaking the words of truth to an individual, but it will be ten times more encouraging and strengthening when it comes from a brother or sister in Christ than when one is trying to tell one’s own. God made it so that we would need one another to build each other up. It is important to preach to ourselves the truth of the Word, but we were are not a people meant to dwell alone in our own heads with our own thoughts and words. When God adopted us into his family he meant for us to dwell together in unity and to bear each other’s burdens and to encourage one another. And this is why we also need to be willing to bear our hearts to one another, so that we can help one another and be an encouragement to one another.

God is so good to give us a family in him! He doesn’t want his children to be alone ever. That is why the church is so important.”

Thanksgiving in the Hard Times

I found this article today I thought was worth sharing. In my last post, I talked about hard times. Those are the moments when rejoicing and giving thanks are farthest from our minds. We see nothing to be thankful for, nothing to rejoice about. However, after reading this article (which I will share with you momentarily), it reminded me of things to be thankful for in those moments. Since I’m posting, I thought I’d share a few verses about thankfulness anyway.

 

http://www.biblestudytools.com/blogs/mark-altrogge/12-things-to-thank-god-for-in-the-midst-of-affliction.html

 

Heb. 12:28: “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,¹ let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe”

Col. 4:2: “Devote yourselves to prayer,¹ being watchful and thankful”

Col. 3:15: “Let the peace of Christ¹ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body² you were called to peace.³ And be thankful”

 

Trust, Faith, and Hard Times

Hello; me again. After having just come through a couple of the hardest weeks I’ve faced before, I thought I’d just jot down a few thoughts about those dark moments in our lives. Because if they haven’t already, they will come. In our teen years, we face a lot of different trials, and fight a lot of various battles. But even as youth, we do have hard times. And as Christians, we need to know how to properly respond to these. Therefore, this post is more of a reminder to me than anything else. This might seem like a bit of a darker post, rather than a light, upbeat one. I’m not going to apologize for that; these are my honest thoughts, and sometimes we need to hear these reminders over and over again. Sometimes, the most cliché things can bring home a truth that we’ve known in our heads, but not our hearts.

There are days when we are just fed up with life, when we just can’t handle it anymore. I know the dark thoughts that run through our minds in these times – believe me, I’ve had most of them. I know what it’s like to question God, because I’ve done it. It’s in those moments when you’re locked up in your bedroom, when your heart is aching so badly that you can’t even cry. When there are so many lies you’ve hammered into your head, when there’s so much pressure and stress. When you’ve taught yourself that you’re worthless and a failure, and the world is better off without you. That’s when you feel like you want to just quit, when you don’t want to go on. And most of the time, the last thing that we want to hear are those clichés that people offer: “God’s good, He knows what He’s doing.” “There’s always a sunrise after the dark night.” “It won’t last forever.” “Trust in the Lord, He’ll take care of you.” “God’s always there, He’ll never leave you.” Those are not a help. I’d much prefer someone to wrap their arms around me and just let me cry, than to have the “God is good” cliché stuffed down my throat to keep me quiet.

But the worst part of it, if you will, is that they’re true. When I’m in a dark moment, I don’t embrace those things as truths, but the fact remains. The Bible clearly says that He takes care of those who trust in Him – it’s the truth. God is sovereign; He does know what He’s doing. He will never leave us, or forsake us. And that’s what I don’t hold as hope in my heart when I’m struggling.

That fact convicts me about my trust in God. One of the things that gets me is how quickly I’m willing to say that “God is faithful”, when I’m in a good mood, when things are going well for me. When I’ve lost so much and I’m grieving, will I still say that God is faithful? When I don’t want to wake up to another day, will I still have trust that in His sovereign glory, He has a plan for me? As Christians in this day and age, we are so quick to sing about God’s love and His faithfulness, as long as we’re in a good spot in life. As soon as misfortune or tragedy hits, suddenly all this faithfulness and love is out of the picture.

People, this should *not* be how it is! If we say that we trust in Him, that we trust in His faithfulness, in His love, then we should never doubt it in any situation. In good times and bad times, we should always be able to say, without hesitation or doubt, that God is faithful. It doesn’t always look that way. In the moments when He seems so far away, when life brings more pain than joy, when our hearts are heavy and broken – His faithfulness hasn’t changed. He is an unchanging God; His faithfulness is not dependent on ours. Because we are humans, we aren’t faithful to the Lord as we should be. We shouldn’t use this as an excuse, but we have to come to terms with how we actually, truly behave. We cannot honestly call ourselves faithful to God. But regardless of how we treat Him, He treats us with His unconditional love and endless faithfulness.

Again, my honest response in the hard times convicts me of my trust. Obviously, my trust isn’t where it should be, if I’m doubting Him in those moments. (To clarify, “questioning” and “doubting” are two different things. If I question, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I doubt. It’s okay to question God; but it’s not okay to doubt Him.) I think of Job, one of my favorite characters from the Bible who underwent hardships, and serious depression. His response to trials is moving. How many of us would “fall to the ground in worship”? (Job 1:20) He lost everything, and never “charged God with wrongdoing” (v. 22). That’s not my immediate response. And yet, this is what we should strive for. He trusted that the Lord “gave and the Lord has taken away” (v. 21); ultimately, that He was in control. We tend to lose sight of Who is in control when we hit hard times.

I think also of the apostle Paul, who, even before execution, had faith that the Lord would rescue him “from every evil attack, and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.” (2 Tim. 4:18) He had faith and trust even to the end. When he was sentenced to death (can you imagine a harder time in your life than waiting to die?), he never doubted. He truly had trust in the Lord.

I don’t know that I’ll ever have strength like Paul, or be “blameless and upright” like Job. But regardless, I have the obligation as a Christian, who has given my life to Christ, to trust Him with the life that He has given to me and that I have given back to Him. I have to have faith that He is in control, even though it seems cliché. Those cliché truths have lost their meaning with how frequently and flippantly we use them, but they still remain truths. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to have faith in the darkness, but that’s why we are called to live by faith and not by sight. (2 Cor. 5:7)

More Blessings

Tired of hearing about my blessings? I’m not. It helps me feel better when I start feeling sorry for myself, to see how God has been there even when I haven’t stopped to take the time and pay attention. Writing them down here is a way that I can share those blessings with others. So here are a few from the past couple weeks.

• Having to write apologetics speeches. Looking up evidence and content for various, sometimes very difficult, questions is incredibly wonderful.
• The knowledge that God has not left me even in the incredibly hard, stressful times.
• Earning a good reputation in certain circles
• The possible beginnings of friendship at speech club
• A guy being nice to me at biology today after I’ve been an invisible fly on the wall for a few months
• Glasses to see with!
• A good piano competition and safe travel across states
• A great piano teacher who pushes me hard to do my best, even when I have no motivation
• A busy schedule. I normally would not chalk this up as a blessing but rather a curse; however, it keeps me occupied and keeps my mind focused on important things.

My Thoughts on Legalism

Today, I want to touch on a topic that frequently gets ignored in my circles. Partially, because it tends to be prevalent in my circles. 🙂 I want to talk about legalism. This is a topic that has become increasing concerning to me over the past couple of years, and I want to do my best to talk about it with objectivity and not in a judgmental way. I come at this certain brand of legalism with my own biased opinion that has been formed from past experiences, and as time goes on, it only builds. So, I apologize if it comes across to some as bashing legalists or is read in an overly negative context. I find it important to think about, however, and here are my thoughts concerning it. Legalism is defined as “pertaining to law”, and the kind of legalism I want to discuss is that which we Christians have adopted.

Allow me to give my background. The church where I actually began to grow in my faith was very legalistic. (It still is.) It is strictly KJV-only, pants on women are frowned upon, and CCM (contemporary Christian music) is portrayed as being wordly and against scripture, although no scriptures were ever suggested to support this. Having said this, I am incredibly grateful for what this church did for me, at least the first year of my attendance there. As those of you who have followed this blog for a long time know, I was not heading in a good direction when I first began attending, and this church pointed me onto a better path. I needed to hear what they had to say when I first started going. So please, don’t think that I’m trying to bash that church. I still love the people that I knew there, and it really helped me to grow.

However, as time went on, and I began to develop my own faith and foundation, I began to find myself disagreeing with small things in the teachings here and there. Those small things grew until I found myself consistently aggravated by certain teachings and proclamations of “truth”. I was most irritated by the way in which these “truths” were delivered. While some of these things are not doctrinally critical, there was an attitude of spiritual superiority that made them harder to swallow.  For example, the KJV is the only inspired version, drums are evil, homeschooling and courtship are the ONLY way, and that is the way it is. No one questioned it or looked to the Bible for confirmation.  I completely understand and respect a church’s right and decision to not allow certain things into the church.  I even see the need for that.  And I’m not even saying that I disagree with all of these things.  But, I am very opposed to presenting one person’s opinion of what is right as a scriptural truth when, in fact, some of those opinions are not biblical, and even sometimes open to the leading of the Holy Spirit through personal conviction.

As a result of this experience, I find that I now struggle with heading down the path of completely rejecting all legalistic rules and attitudes. I don’t want to do that, but I find that it’s my natural response to legalism. In a strange way, I’m forming my own brand of legalism. I’m insisting that I’m right, that they’re wrong, and in truth, I’m not really any different than the legalists that I’m condemning when I do that. I’m being legalistic about my own standards. And I don’t want to do that.

My dilemma lies in the middle ground. I do believe that it’s possible to not be at either end of the spectrum, but I haven’t quite reached that yet. I still explode whenever someone proclaims that CCM cannot honor God, for example. However, I think the middle ground can be obtained. (Just for the record, I don’t usually like finding middle grounds or basing things off of personal conviction – it makes it seem like I’m just finding an excuse to believe whatever it is that I want to believe. I don’t mean any of this in that context, however.) For example, I do listen to CCM. I don’t think that CCM, in general, is wrong. As I’ve stated before here, I don’t think that all CCM is God-honoring, but there are some amazing, convicting songs that I believe very much so honor and worship Him. But at the same time, I do love some hymns. I play hymns on the piano; I listen to them on my computer. I listen to both of these types of music, which one is proclaimed wrong and one of them is proclaimed to be right. There is a middle ground for these things. I just struggle with reaching that.

I am naturally a very (verrrrrry) stubborn person. My natural response to legalism is usually to shout/scream, and verbally explode to certain friends and family members. (Did I ever mention that I’m also really dramatic?) I’m not joking. And I know that this is extremely wrong. I struggle with having a graceful response to legalism. But I know that I have to find a way to deal with it in a God-honoring way.

My consistent dilemma is that the type of peer group that appeals to me most is often associated with the type of legalism that I find so offensive.  I had some very dear, close friends at that church that I went to, and all but one of them had embraced this legalistic thinking. They supported the church’s teachings on CCM and KJV.  (I use those two particular examples because they were two of the most outspoken ones that aggravated me.) When it came to doctrine, we were all pretty consistent, and there wasn’t much conflict there. I still loved them and we all got along perfectly fine, but I always knew that I could never talk with them about certain things because we were not in agreement.

So, what do I do? The kinds of circles that I want to be involved with have, to all of my experience and knowledge, that legalism that makes me go crazy. But at the same time, the churches that are more in line with my thinking produce  peer groups and atmospheres that are not conservative enough for my preference.  And I frequently find that the people in those circles don’t match up with what they preach or proclaim to hold to. I honestly can say that I feel like a one-of-a-kind, special edition of person in regard to the beliefs that I hold. I’m pretty sure that only my mother agrees with me on the things that I struggle with. (Although she doesn’t explode at legalism like I do, good for her!)

The most important thing for me to remember in light of legalism is not to take the defensive, offended side and retaliate against legalistic teachings/mindsets with sharp words of retribution. How does that show the love of Christ? How would that make a difference? I’ve admitted, and I’ll mention it again, my natural response is not very God-honoring. I need to work past that. My immediate reaction is to point out why the other person is wrong, usually a little too bluntly and without any grace or understanding. My personality doesn’t work that way. But if I’m going to try to combat unbiblical legalistic teaching, my response cannot be to strike a blow with the same rigidity that they uphold in their own teachings.

Does anyone else struggle with legalism? How do you respond?

Who He Is

As I type this, I’m looking out the window at a beautiful day. I’ve got my Bible and theology books spread out on the desk before me, next to my mug of tea (which I’m trying to learn to like). I’m in the middle of working on apologetics speeches, but as I am, it’s suddenly hitting me how much of a mystery Jesus really is.

I’m looking at Luke 18:17, “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” When I first look at this verse, my immediate interpretation is that we are to accept the kingdom of God without question, with the innocence and ignorance of a child. On further thought, children ask questions all the time. They’re always inquiring, always curious about everything.

What did Jesus mean when He said this? What was He trying to imply? Was His meaning even in line with either of my thoughts?

I think of the Calvinism vs. Arminianism debates. Why would God put just enough evidence for either side to claim, so that churches would be divided and people turn against each other, arguing their points for centuries, and centuries to come?

I think of the virgin birth that I just wrote a short speech on. There are three main, significant reasons why the virgin birth of Christ is essential to Christianity; but unless you were to really research it, you otherwise wouldn’t give much thought to the essentiality of the virgin birth. And yet it holds so much meaning to our faith.

The meaning and significance of the incarnation? How could Jesus be both God and man? If God is infinite, how could He limit Himself in the person of Christ? How do you respond to the statement, “Heaven is only a state of mind”?

Are you prepared to answer any of these questions? How much about your own faith do you really know?

All these things testify the mystery of who Christ is to me, of how much more there is to Him than we think of. We slap the label of “a good, loving, merciful God” on His name, but do we stop to marvel at how great He really is? He gave us parables with hidden meanings, and seemingly simple commands with amazingly powerful truths buried deep inside. His words are filled with so much depth and meaning, a true reflection of who He is. I find it amazing.

He Is In Control

This isn’t meant to be a long post, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days. I don’t know why God allows certain things to happen. I don’t see how some things fit in to His sovereign plan. Why would He allow a young girl to be beaten and raped over and over again? Why would He let a sweet, old lady die of a stroke? Why would He let there be millions of orphans in the world? Why would He let someone grow up in a fatherless home, without any love from their family? Why does He allow these things? How could He let things like this happen?

I don’t know. I hate it with everything in me. I hate knowing that there are girls across the world, just like me, who are being abused every day. I hate knowing thousands of babies are being aborted every year. I hate knowing that children are being sold into slavery. I hate knowing that there are orphans across the world, dying of starvation, without ever knowing a mother’s love. I hate it all. It breaks my heart, and moves me to tears.

But somehow, God is still in control.

How can I say that? It hardly seems that way even to me. Where was God when that girl was being beaten by the one who was supposed to love her? Where was He when the starving orphan in Africa took his last breath without hope?

I don’t know how, but He was still God even then. He was still sovereign, still unchanging. Even in those dark moments, He is still in control. That doesn’t mean that He causes every evil thing in the world, by any means whatsoever. But that does mean that He can work good out of a bad situation. We may not be able to see or understand it now, but He is still in control.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Rom. 8:28

GO

I was sitting on my bed, listening to “Tears of the Saints” by Leeland Mooring, writing long-overdue letters to a few friends. As I did so, I suddenly stopped to ponder the lyrics I was hearing. I had been listening to it for half the day, so the words weren’t new to me. It had been really encouraging to listen to when I first heard it – the kind of encouraging where you’re going, “Yeah, I agree! This world needs to listen up.” But then, as I sat there, I was convicted. I looked out my window and saw all the houses in my neighborhood. I can only assume it was a God thing: I felt the question, “If you knew that all of these houses would be demolished in a matter of minutes, and all the inhabitants would die and go to hell, wouldn’t you hurry as fast as you could and tell them a way that they could be saved?”

Naturally, most of us would answer with, “Of course!” If this is really true, then why aren’t we? Sure, our neighbors’ houses might not be annihilated in the next twelve minutes, but there’s no guarantee that the inhabitants of that house will still be here on this earth in the next twelve minutes. Things happen that we can’t know, things that we never could see coming. Things happen to people we know and love in a matter of simple seconds. One moment they’re here – the next, they’re gone. And we don’t ever know when it will happen.

This, combined with the Great Commission, should spur us on to reach multitudes around us to find joy and salvation in Christ. It should be enough that Jesus asks us to go into the world and make disciples of the nations, starting with your next-door neighbor. Since this generation doesn’t find that to be enough, we only get moved when it happens to someone we love. Love for Jesus and our fellow man should be the things that compel us to share the good news with those around us.

Sharing the gospel with those who are lost is a biblical teaching that we ignore. We dislike the thought of having to reach out of our comfort zone, and our minds are expertly skilled at conjuring up excuses when it comes to things we don’t want to do. We have taken God’s command lightly. He did not ask us if, whenever we felt like it, whenever we had the time, or had nothing better to do, we could share His love with those who walk in darkness. He didn’t ask us if when we had nothing better to do, we could tell others of redemption and salvation found in Him. NO. He commands, not requests, us to go and make disciples, to go out and save people (not that we actually save people, but rather give them the truth they need to be saved). YOU have the answer to what this world is looking for – YOU HAVE THE TRUTH, AND YOU HAVE BEEN SET FREE. It is your duty, your obligation, to share this truth and freedom with the world around you that is shrouded in dark lies. Please, don’t wait. I need to work on obeying God’s commission as well. I need to reach out to those around me, those in my neighborhood, those that I meet on the street. But I can’t afford to disobey God anymore – neither can the people that I come into contact with on a regular basis. “If you love me, you will obey my commands.” (Jn. 14:15)

While I’m on my bed writing my friend about her chickens, there are people who are dying. And I do nothing. How much more self-centered can we get??

I hope that this post isn’t just seen as another “go-get-‘em-lost-peoples” rant. I hope it ignites a fire. I hope it wakes people up, that we can join arms together and save lost souls that live right next door, that you meet on a daily basis. I hope that we can rise up to live as Christians should, and obey God and His commands out of our love for Him.

So before you go out and start saving the lost souls around you, watch this video. Then, go.

Holiness

                “God’s holiness means that He is separated and devoted to seeking His own honor.” – Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology

Holiness. It’s a word that has lost its meaning in this day and age. We no longer grasp the concept of what holiness is – what it means in our lives to be holy, and how God is holy. Today, the word “holiness” has just become another adjective we use when describing God. It seems to only be another word that we throw into elaborate prayers. “Majestic”, “holy”, “merciful”, “compassionate”, “powerful”, “miraculous”; people don’t really know what they mean anymore. I want to redefine holiness as it should be when we speak of God, and when it becomes the pattern of which we are to mimic in life. What is holiness really?

Holiness is defined as follows:

1.Dedicated to religious use; consecrated; sacred.
2.Spiritually pure; sinless.
3.Deserving reverence or worship.
4. Associated with Jesus and his life.

It’s black and white – He is holy. He is spiritually pure. He deserves worship.

An aspect that Grudem mentions in his book Systematic Theology I thought was significant to point out on the topic. He brings out that since God is separate from sin, then the devotion is to the good of God’s own honor or glory; one example he uses being the fact that the most holy place where the ark of the covenant was kept was the place most separated from evil and sin and most fully devoted to God’s service. Ps. 23:4, “Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in His holy place?” Where God dwells is holy – it is separated from sin. And fully dedicated to His own honor.

Now we’ll see that God’s holiness goes hand in hand with His sense of justice in a certain aspect. Being that He is 100% pure and separated from sin, it cannot enter into His presence. Because of His holiness, Nadab and Abihu were consumed by fire from the Lord (Lev. 10:1-7). Because of His holiness, Uzzah was struck down and died (2 Sa. 6:1-7). His holiness cannot allow anything impure into His presence.

This is why there must be atonement for our sins, which was instituted at Calvary. However, this does not let us off the hook. Holiness applies to our every day lives.

Our key verse is 1 Peter 1:15-16, “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’” But for however well-known this verse might be, there are still others that address the issue.

Heb. 12:10, “…but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness.”

Heb. 12:14, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy…”

2 Cor. 7:1, “…perfecting holiness out of reverence to God.”

Even the church is to be holy. Eph. 2:21, “In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord.”

Holiness applies to us directly. We are to be holy as God is holy. For us, this would practically look like separating ourselves from sin, worshipping the Lord, and consecrating ourselves for His honor and glory. “What?!” I hear you cry. “Are you telling me to never sin? That’s impossible!”

It is impossible to stop sinning completely. But that by no means gives us the chance to use the whole “God gives us grace!” excuse. (Which is so over-used, y’all, come on.)

Yeah, we’re a fallen race. We are born sinful, and we will never be able to overcome our sin nature. But we are called to persevere and press on toward the right thing, even with the knowledge that we will never reach it. We are to always seek after the things of God, always to walk in His ways, always to yearn after Him and to obey His commands. Yes, we will stumble. Yes, we will fail and make mistakes over and over again. But we are not called to give up and declare it only for your church elders. We are called to acknowledge our mistakes, and keep going, pushing on toward achieving the same holiness that is the Lord.

More Beautiful You

I know I haven’t posted a serious post in a while, but I’m here to assure you it’s coming. I’m working on some more serious stuff, but while it’s in the progress of coming along, here’s a video and song for those of you who struggle with the same things as me.

Guest Post

Here I have a guest post from Rachel Joy over at Noteworthy! Thank you Rachel!

– The Daily Struggle –

“The struggle is so real!” I said to my brother as we painstakingly walked away from the last M&M.

As I continued living my day, I began to think about those words, and the phrase normally associated with getting out of bed. “The Daily Struggle.”

As I thought, I realized that that’s not the only struggle we have to deal with daily.

You see, the daily struggle is to surrender. To surrender my will to God—even when I don’t want to. Even when it involves pain and heartache. To pick up my cross and follow Jesus even when the waters rise.

The daily struggle is to worship through the storm. It’s to look for Jesus, and not just a passing glance, but daily seeking him until we find him.

The daily struggle is to love like Jesus when people drive us crazy. It’s to love them even when they don’t deserve it in anyway. It’s to love people like Jesus when we are treated unjustly, when we are hurt and when it is painful.

The daily struggle is to stand strong. It’s so easy to lie down and let the overwhelming might of the enemy surround and accost us. It’s easy to lay in the corner and cry. (Trust me, I do it all the time) But it’s so hard to stand up and make a difference. To break the chains that daily try to bind us, is constantly a battle.

It’s easy to take. We all find it easy to receive. But to give it all? That’s not easy. To give your everything to the one who gave it all to you? To trust that he knows what’s best and to receive his blessings? That’s the daily struggle.

The daily struggle is to sing hallelujah. Saying “God be praised” in the pain, dizzy tears and mourning. That is hard. To praise him unconditionally with all of our being, that is the daily struggle.

Everyday we have so many struggles. Things that make it hard to want to get out of bed and to live life, but the crazy thing is that we don’t have to do this by ourselves.

Jesus is right there to walk with us all the way. He is there to help us when we slip and fall into the depravity that this world so often thrusts upon is.

Through him—and only through him, can we win this battle.

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8

~ Rachel Joy

A Message for the Messenger Online Bible Conference – Day 1

This week marks Ryan’s first whole year of blogging! He’s doing an online Bible conference this week on his blog. Check it out!

A Message for the Messenger

Today is the start of A Message for the Messenger’s One Year Anniversary celebration week! As I said in a previous post (here), I will be having five guest speakers with us this week. To begin the conference, I have here a speech Taylor B. composed on the topic of “Faith”. So join me, if you will, for the first day of A Message for the Messenger’s Online Bible Conference!

“‘Hear my prayer, O Lord! And let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me in the day of my distress; incline your ear to me; in the day when I call answer me quickly. For my days have been consumed in smoke, and my bones have been scorched like a hearth. My heart has been smitten like grass and has withered away, indeed, I forget to eat my bread. Because of…

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Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, dear blog…

It’s officially been a year now since I started blogging. Funny how someone can change so much during the period of just a year. Looking back at the different things this blog has seen me through, I realize that it’s been such a blessing to be able to share my thoughts and beliefs with others, and it’s helped me to grow and discern what I believe about various topics.

So now I’m asking for your input here. What are some things you think I should change regarding blogging content, writing style, etc.? What are some things you’d like to see me write about? What advice do you have to give?

A shout-out to my readers. Y’all are what makes blogging worthwhile. Your comments, encouragement, support, input, and patience are the only reason that this blog is still going. Thank you all so much.

Great Post

Here’s a post all young people should read:

http://caryschmidt.com/2010/11/things-id-like-to-say-to-every-young-adult/

Modesty Collab

So Sarah from Trusting in The Lord has joined me in making a modesty post. Each of us came up with some questions, and we gave our personal answers to each one. I’m curious to get some feedback from you, the readers, though – I’d like to hear what you think about the topic.

A quick disclaimer to any guys reading this: please don’t stop reading this just because it’s a modesty post!! Modesty is not a “girl” thing, and is often taken for granted by guys. I’ve tried to make it apply to guys and girls equally where I could.

That being said, here are thoughts on the topic from two different girls.

1.) What do you think modesty means?

Sarah:

It means that we as women have personally chosen to dress for our Lord, and not for men. It’s a personal conviction, and each and every one of us has different standards. Modesty means that we have chosen not to put ourselves out in the world without wearing inappropriate clothing so we don’t lead other people to sin. If more women would dress modestly, men (and women) would respect us. We are not “things” to be toyed with, we are human beings that God has created just as He has man. By not putting ourselves out there hardly wearing clothes at all, we are respected. People have addressed me and my sisters as “ma’am” several times. If you aren’t dressing modestly, what kind of man are you going to find who “likes you?” A man who will do the same with any other women that he sees. Dress for the God-and the man He has chosen for you someday.

Me:

What do I think modesty means? I think it means honoring the Lord with our actions, attitudes, and dress. Modesty doesn’t just mean the clothes you wear – it’s also determined by the way you interact with and treat members of the opposite sex, and the attitude driving that interaction and treatment. Actions and attitudes frequently get passed over, when in truth they are just as important a factor as clothes. You could be dressed from head to toe and still act immodestly.
A big note, modesty does not just apply to girls. In Christian circles, modesty is primarily focused on how much cloth covers the girl, while the same principles are very much so overlooked in guys. There are just as many girls that stumble over the way that guys dress and act as guys that stumble over the way girls dress and act. So guys, please don’t dismiss any of this, as most of it applies to you as well!

2.) What is the significance of modesty?

Sarah:

Our motive. Are we wishing to please God, or man? Why should we want to please man… God has “the one” out there for us, the one who will love us as we are. The motive is important… you really have to discover what YOURS is.

Me:

Because it’s significant to God! Paul charges the women in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 to “dress modestly, with decency and propriety… but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” This verse is commonly brought up in those Christian circles, so I won’t go into it much, but where do the guys fit in here? He’s flat-out obviously addresses women!
There’s one more passage that I believe applies to this same general thought that is found further on in 1 Timothy, 5:1-2. “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” Girls, are you going to try to act immodestly with your brother, and dress as immodestly as possible? Guys, are you going to act and dress immodestly for your sisters? Please tell me not! The same goes for your girl and guy friends, y’all. Treat them with absolute purity. Not with any alternate intentions, not with any selfish intent, or trying to trip them up and cause them to stumble. Good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t do it to your sibling, then don’t do it to those of the opposite sex around you!

3.) Why do you think modesty honors God?

Sarah:

I think it honors Him IF we dress for Him, and only for Him. It’s a sign that we are saving our hearts for the man God choose for us, and we will dress the way God wants us to. It honors Him, because people may see us as different, but not in a bad way, quite the opposite. We give honor to God through living our lives dressing modestly, and having the RIGHT attitude.

Me:

I believe it is obeying His Word, and if we love Him, we will obey His commands. By obeying His commands, we are honoring Him. By dressing and acting modestly, I can (hopefully!) encourage my brothers in Christ in pure thinking, instead of being a stumbling block for them, which isn’t Biblical (Romans 14:13, “Therefore let us stop passing judgment upon one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”). As an added bonus, modesty says a lot about you! People are going to almost always respect the one who is modest in deed and dress more than the immodest, flirtatious one.

4.) Why do you think attitude has a great affect on the way you dress?

Sarah:

Because attitude, is our main, TRUE, focus. We want people to see who we are INSIDE, not outside-our looks. We want people to know who we truly are.

Me:

Our attitude will determine how we dress. Whether we dress for attention or to glorify God, it reflects our attitude and ultimately reveals our hearts. I read once that girls who feel insecure about themselves tend to dress more immodestly. Those that dress modestly reflect a heart that strives to honor the Lord in their dress. So attitudes have everything to do with how we dress.

5.) Do you think guys should dress modestly?

Sarah:

In fact, I do. I don’t think it’s necessarily right for guys to have no shirts on at beaches, or even on the street. I think guys should be covered as well. Why should it just be “oh, girls should always be covered,” I believe they do, but I also believe men should as well, *real* men will.

Me:

Goodness, yes. I personally don’t find most guys’ choice of dress really that stumbling, but a lot of the time, when guys dress immodestly, it’s just disgusting. It’s really hard to respect a guy who dresses to catch a girl’s eye. That being said, I’ve heard seeeveral girls moan before about guys’ lack of modesty. Guys, it really does make a difference to girls. Please show a little consideration!

6.) Why do you think other people around you have an affect on the way you dress?

Sarah:

Because or peer pressure, and it may even look “cool” at moments when everyone is doing it. Fads die away, faithful hearts do not. It may be tempting at moments to want to follow the crowd, it may seem easier… but do not stray from the Path. Stay close to Jesus.

Me:

Often times I find it comes from wanting to be accepted and fit in. No one wants to stand out. No one wants to be eyeballed for the kinds of clothes you wear. (Believe me, I’ve gotten a lot of those looks…) We want to be accepted and loved, and the philosophy that this world teaches is that you have to fit in and be like everyone else. A big factor there is in choice of clothing. The more immodest you are, the more people will like you, is the draw.

7.) Do you think that we should only dress modestly outside of the home?

Sarah:

I do not, especially if you have brothers. It may become “normal” for them and it won’t even bother them, it will become so normal they will be blinded from the sin… Modesty is true, when you make a commitment to dress modestly everywhere, inside the home-and out.

Me:

Certainly not! That totally defeats the purpose of dressing to glorify the Lord. It then only becomes an appeal to show your righteousness to man. Then you’re only doing it for your own glory, not for God’s.

8.) What do you think is appropriate for swimming in?

Sarah:

Many girls I know wear shorts and a t-shirt to swim in, which I agree is modest! One piece, sleeveless swimsuits I think, however, are not. I have seen many girls who normally dress modestly, and wear one-piece swimsuits that are not modest… My sister created her own design for swimsuits and she makes them for each of my sisters and I. Coverupforchrist.com. She also has an Etsy shop that you can go to-to see what I wear for swimwear. I don’t think we have to wear dresses to swim modestly, but one-piece I don’t believe work either. My sister created a swim skirt, which is a shorter skirt attached with swim leggings. They are all made out of the same swim material you would normally have. Then she has different style swimtops she makes. The elastic band I have on my swimsuit lets me swim freely without my having to constantly pull it up and worry about it gaping and it allows me to swim freely.

Me:

Oooh boy. Well, this is one of those areas that people tend to disagree on; it’s very controversial. For me personally, I wear a one-piece with leggings and an exercise shirt on over it. It does the job for me. However, there are so many different ideas, strategies, and outfits that I’m not in on that probably work all the same. As for guys, though it doesn’t really bother me, I’ve heard a lot of girls complain that when y’all don’t wear shirts, it’s a distraction. Something to keep in mind there.

9.) What are your personal standards for modesty? Why do you hold to these standards?

Sarah:

First of all, we all have consciences, and we know what works for us and what doesn’t-though, sometimes we need help from parents or siblings. My personal standards are, no low cut shirts, no writing on shirts (because they draw unwanted attention), no sparkles, or anything on jeans, skirts, shirts, ect. No tight, thin shirts. No tight pants, no sleeveless shirts. I think jeans and shorts are fine to wear, as long as they are NOT tight, and the shorts don’t go above the knee. It’s pretty simple, we all know if we are truly dressing for God-or man. I hold these standards, because God says in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in your whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price: therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Me:

I won’t even try to be brief here, ‘cause that’s not my main focus. I really don’t have standards for guys, simply because guys’ clothing doesn’t make me stumble. There are things I find extremely unattractive for guys, and I know that there are lots of things that guys wear that cause girls to stumble, but unfortunately every girl is different so my personal standards aren’t that applicable here. So I’ll focus on the girls for this one.
I’ve heard varying approaches from guys to pants vs. skirts, but again, all guys are different, so I’ve heard from some “yes, skirts!” but from others “both are okay”. Honestly, I wear both. So here go my personal convictions and standards for how I dress:
For pants, there’s to be no flashy pockets (i.e. rhinestones, glitter, bright patterns), no rips, no tightness in places there ought not be *ahem*; nothing that draws the eye. Shorts… honestly, yeah I wear those every once in a while too. I don’t see anything wrong with them, as long as they come down to the knee. Things ride up when you sit down. And the same principles that apply to pants apply to shorts as well.
Skirts, there are to be no slits, no flashy pockets, no tightness, and at least to your knees. Preferably lower, please.
For shirts – yeah, girls, y’all had to go and figure out every way to make clothes as revealing as possible! Thanks a lot! – no gaping, no tightness, nothing too short, no necklines too low, and no bold labels or lettering where there ought not to be.
I think that covers it… attitudes are different. When I think of immodest attitudes and actions, I think of flirting, and purposefully doing things to catch a guys’ eye. I won’t even go into that, y’all already know what I’m talking about. Guys, the same thing applies to you. Please don’t immodestly flirt (please don’t flirt period!). Please don’t do immodest things just to get the girl to notice you. I’ve had it happen to me, and it doesn’t make any girl who holds to Christian standards appreciate or respect you.
Why do I hold to these standards? Because I try to dress and act in a way that won’t make guys stumble, to honor God, and try to treat young men as brothers. I wouldn’t do anything to make my brother stumble, so why should I do it to other guys? I know I can’t control a guy’s thoughts, but I can do my best not to encourage anything.

10.) What might you tell a guy or girl who asked for advice in this area?

Sarah:

To girls: Guard your hearts. Dress for God, not man. Don’t put yourself out in the world wanting attention-it’s attention you don’t really want. The men who truly love you, will see your heart-not your outward appearance.

To guys: Watch your eyes. A woman who dresses for man-will not truly love you. She may seem to-for the moment, but you want someone who will love you life long. Follow the Lord, He has the “one” for you planned. Just wait, and guard your heart, eyes and soul.

Me:

Firstly, please don’t get legalistic about this! I know of the people who are constantly worrying “oh no! Will this one particular shirt make guys stumble?” about every little thing. Please don’t turn into a modesty legalist. It’s good to determine what’s modest and what’s not, but don’t be a modesty-Nazi.
Second, watch your motive. Don’t try to dress and act modestly in the hopes that you will catch the eye of that member of the opposite sex. Yes, I know of those people too. Don’t do things so that that particular guy or girl will make a note of how spiritual and holy you are in your code of dress and action. That’s the wrong heart. Do it ultimately to please God. Forget about the rest. Everything you do is to be for His glory, right?
Third, determine what clothing is modest for you. Things look different on different people. But actions and attitudes remain the same for everyone.

—

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic of modesty for both guys and girls!

The Last Time…

We tried a new church today, and they had a fellowship meal after the service. We stayed, getting to talk to some of the people and ask questions about the beliefs, standards, etc., of the church. My youngest brother was, of course, being way too loud (being only one year old, with a short attention span) and disturbing good conversation, so I was volunteered to take him outside and let him walk around.

I took him to the field next to the little fellowship hall to let him play. And that’s when I remembered the last time I took my brother out to play in a church field. It was at home in Texas, and I still remember the particular Sunday.

I was flipping through old church notes during the service at this church today, and got reminded of a lot of those last sermons at my church in Texas. The last time I heard one particular speaker, the last time I ever heard one man talk about a certain topic.

On the drive to the church today, I was recalling good memories of times at my old church. Those inside jokes that are still lasting, laughs I shared with people, and those serious talks late into those Sunday nights after church. The one-on-one talks over the dining room table at a friend’s house. Long talks at night in my driveway. Connections I made then that are no longer inexistence today, that I miss so much now.

And I realized today what I was doing. Instead of treasuring these memories, I was reliving them. I’ve been living in those memories. I’ve lingered in the past, instead of letting go and moving forward.

Is there something wrong with reliving good memories? Yes.

It’s not wrong to treasure memories, and look back on them and remember how much they meant to you. But you have to be able to look back. You have to have moved forward before you can do so. That means you have to have let go.

I am *the* worst person to talk about letting go. I hold what once was in my fists sooo tightly, that I’m missing something very, very important: what is now. When I keep my eyes fixed on the things that used to be, I’m missing what’s going on right now in my life. When I look at the good things I had in one chapter of my life, I’m missing the chapter God’s writing before my very eyes that I’m living out day to day, and all the good things that come with it.

I’ve heard it said: “Don’t look back; that’s not where you’re going.” I’ve had to remind myself of that through this move. I so badly want things to go back the way before, so I relive those moments that are now memories, wishing things could change. But they can’t, and that is okay. I have to keep going, because the God that blessed me then is the same God who is blessing me now. I can’t look back and live in my past anymore. I have to let go and move on. And that same, unchanging God will be with me every step of the way.

Counting Many Blessings

So, due to popular demand (don’t ask what I mean by that…), here are a few of the blessings I wrote down this past week.

• Friends who care about doing the right thing
• Sunrises
• Quiet time
• I have a family (a huge blessing, when you think about kids whose families are ripped apart)
• God gives peace when we’ve had to let go
• A mother I can share my heart with (Love you mother dear 🙂 )
• Emails from friends
• Being sheltered (You don’t wanna know why I love that so much)
• The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. Just, wow.
• Psalm 121
• Wholesome, edifying music
• People who are willing to talk with me about serious topics
• God loves me despite myself

What are some ways that God has blessed you?

Blessings Update

So, I did it. For a week, I charted ten blessings a day. Weeell, sort of. I missed a few days in a row, so I sat down and made up for the ones I missed. Which put me at coming up with 30 blessings in one sitting. Now, I’ve done the journaling blessings thing before, but I’ve never forced myself to think of 30 blessings in one sitting. When you think of it, that’s a lot. But it reminds me that I have so much to be grateful for. It really helps when I am getting discouraged or feeling sad about something, to pull out my list of blessings and see how incredibly amazing God has been to me. I intend to try to keep it up, and I would highly recommend it to anyone going through hard times of their own!

Great Post

And to follow up my last post, here’s an awesome post from Taylor B. :

http://gracedidmuchmoreabound.blogspot.com/2015/09/eureka.html

To My Generation: Stop It!

I am mad. Perhaps “mad” is a bit of a strong word, but I think it’s applicable. I’ve been doing a bit of thinking these past few days, all because of this story. Which, is probably longer than you care to read, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. It’s crucial to the basis of what got me thinking.

The other night, I went to a “serious” (as the youth pastor stated) girls’ Bible study. I guess my definition of “serious” is a little out-of-date for the youth of today. Let me explain. I’ll start from the beginning. When I got there, I noted the immodest appearance of the girls who were already there, as well as the interesting styles and colors of hair. Now, I try not to judge unfairly and stereotype with prejudice, per se, but I also don’t want to be naïve and gullible, so I just filed these observations away in the little file cabinet in my noggin. When everyone’s chit-chat had died down some, the lady who was in charge (of the group of four of us) asked if anyone had any prayer requests. She continued to tell me that everything that was spoken in the group, stayed in the group – don’t tell your parents. My engrained red flags popped up, but I simply nodded my head. (Because I’m dying to spill everyone’s secrets to the hoards of people I know around here.)  She then played a fifteen-minute Francis Chan video, which I was happy about. After it was done, she asked if anyone had any comments or questions. No one spoke. Moving on, she began to describe some of the devotional books she was considering covering in the class, as it was only just starting up, and asked for input. The response that stuck with me the most from one particular girl was, “Do I have to do anything? If I have to bring my Bible or do something, I don’t want any part of it.” I kept my jaw from falling to the floor. Somebody please explain to me (if possible), why would you be part of a Bible study if you DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR BIBLE?! Much less have to do anything?! Anyway, moving on. Probably the most humorous for me (being raised the way I have, in the home and church that I have), and yet still sadly disturbing, thing that I can remember was when the topic of sexual purity came up. One girl proudly boasted that she was the only girl to answer the questions on sexual purity from last year, because she was the only one with a boyfriend. She proceeded to look at me and say, “I’m so sorry, that was rude that we didn’t ask you! Do you have a boyfriend?” Me: “Noooo.” (I shared with them Cassie’s wonderful blog later on.) The lady in charge reminded the girl, “She just moved, she probably doesn’t have one here. She probably left one at home.” Me: “Noooo.” I had forgotten that it’s entirely normal for fourteen- and fifteen-year old girls to have boyfriends in this culture’s day and age.

Anyway, suffice it to say, in addition to some other things not mentioned above, I got my first glimpse in a long time of what teens today are really like.

Allow me to give you my sheltered background. I entered my teen years in an uber-conservative church, with uber-conservative (and legalistic) views on just about everything. This church was incredibly good for me when I first started going, as I was going through a period of rebellion and was on a bad path toward the world. But as I’ve been raised in an uber-conservative (I like the word “uber” just in case you couldn’t tell) environment and atmosphere, I haven’t exactly been around a bunch of worldly teens. The teens I hung out with and interacted with had pretty much the same ideas as me concerning most things and were all conservative and homeschooled. There at the Bible study, I can guarantee you I would not agree with them concerning most anything, as well as the added fact that they were public schooled (I’m not judging, I’m not judging, just ask me later if you wanna talk about my views on public schoolers).

What has stuck with me, both through the experience and afterward, is the apathy of our generation of teenagers. Those girls that I saw at the “serious” Bible study, they didn’t care truly about their relationship with God. The lady in charge gave the lesson of “put your phones down for a minute, and send a prayer up to God just sayin’, ‘Yo God, whassup?’” (literally, word for word what she said). Those girls had been in that group for at least a year, though I’m sure probably longer. If you can go to church for that long, if you can go to a Wednesday night Bible study for that long, and hear the Bible taught, hear God’s word, and still need the reminder as the lesson to say “Yo God, whassup?”, then I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that you really don’t care. I could be wrong. But considering that you would go to a Bible study without your Bible, not be interested in doing anything with a devotional book, ask “How looong is this gonna take?”, and be sending Tweets throughout the lesson, I think I can stereotype you with the “I don’t care” group of teens. For those girls, I think they were probably at just about all that they could handle in terms of a “serious” Bible study. I’m not one to be pointing fingers, but I can say that this generation needs to wake up.

My mom shared this article with me recently, and it literally had me yelling “No! No! No!” as I was reading it. I don’t typically make loud, audible outbursts while reading an article, but this one did it for me. Stop reading here, and take a minute to look at this. And then come back, I’m not finished rambling yet. http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_23339492/27-things-do-before-you-graduate-high-school?utm_source=Master+List+of+Subscribers&utm_campaign=1e52161bcb-9-3-15+Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_1d9c893e5b-1e52161bcb-190187401

People, the teen years are the prime years of our lives. I fully believe it and have been assured by people much older and wiser than me that it’s true. Make the most of it. Use them for God’s glory, not your own! We are capable of SO much more than the world thinks we can do.

As an additional note, for any of you who haven’t, please read Do Hard Things, by Alex and Brett Harris. Please, please, please. It will totally make everything that I’m saying 100% clearer, and say it 100% better than I can.

Back to my rambling. Do we really want to fall under the list of teenagers that aspire to fall asleep in class before they graduate? Do we really want to live up to those expectations? Do we want to have on our list of accomplishments in our teenaged years, “Went to a prom”? REALLY?? Or do we want to be teenagers who used their youth to serve the Lord in mighty ways, accomplishing great things for His kingdom? Do we want to be able to rise up against the expectations that the world has set before us, and do so much more than people think is possible of what teenagers have become? Do we want to fit the stereotypical rebellious, lazy teenager? Or do we want something more?

I want to do hard things. Even if they’re the small hard things. I want to show people that teenagers can do hard things. We don’t have to show people that they’re right and we live up to their expectations! We can be more! But just as much, I want to help other teens to share that vision. I want to not be one of the few who has these goals, these ambitious aspirations. I want to help others obtain this idea that we can do so much more than is expected.

That’s why I’m mad. I want teens to change the way that they live, to abolish this philosophy the world has engrained in their minds and hearts. I want them to kill their self-centered drive and live for the Lord and to serve Him with their teenaged years. I want them to stop living their lives like every day exists for their pleasure. Just, stop it! I want them to do hard things.

Blessings

So, I am on a mission. Since I focus on the negative so much more than the positive, I am going to make a conscious effort to write down at least ten blessings every day. The little things, the big things – at least ten of them. Every day. For a whole week. I am far more blessed than I give the Lord credit for. Would anyone else like to do it with me?

Prayer for A Friend

I heard this song for the first time this week and thought it was awesome.

Guard Your Heart

People, this video is amazing. Please, watch it. I can’t give the exact direct link to it, so you’ll have to click on this link, and then click on the “Guard Your Heart” video (watch the others too at some point, they’re great!).

http://www.summit.org/curriculum/middle-school/home-school/videos/

Running the Race

I’ve already written a post on when God is silent, so I won’t go over those points again. I want to kind of return to that theme though, if you will.

These past several weeks have been extremely hard for me. I have been an emotional wreck over many different aspects of my life right now, but one of the things that has really bothered me is the status of my relationship with God. I have really felt void of any growth or response in that area lately. I have battled against zero motivation to read the Bible and spend time in prayer, as well as having nothing to write about. I’ve lost the experiential part of the Christian walk, which is hard for me as I have the unhealthy tendency to lean very heavily on my feelings. However, being in this low point has brought me face-to-face with a hard reality that I know in my head, but haven’t completely embraced in my heart.

                                The Christian’s walk, the Christian’s race, is not a bed of roses.

Surprised? That’s something that we’ve all heard before. Did I really expect it to be easy? No. But was I prepared to face the struggles and hard times that a Christian will face? No. That being said, I’m still young and haven’t exactly had a life crisis or anything that totally wreaks havoc on my faith, nothing like that. But for where I’m at in my walk with Christ at this point, I am going through a hard time.

How am I supposed to be prepared for those hard spots in my walk? Three things come to mind.

Firstly, I need to make sure that I am doing what I can to grow closer to the Lord with each passing day. That means continually spending time in prayer, reading and studying His word, worshiping Him throughout the day, serving Him daily, etc. I need to make sure that I’m not lagging on my part in having a thriving, growing relationship with the Lord. How do I expect Him to be there if I’m not making an effort to be with Him?

Secondly, I need to rely on knowledge and belief, and not feelings. Again, this is something that’s really hard for me to do, but if I consistently go by how I feel, what does that mean about my faith? Is my faith founded by feelings, or is it founded by truth and belief? If I know in my head and heart truths, it will be easier to undergo trials and hardships, as trials and hardships induce lots of unreliable feelings.

Third, I need to have someone to hold me accountable. For me, this is an area that I struggle with greatly (do I have a spot where I don’t struggle??). I need to have someone to gently but firmly remind me that I am relying on my feelings rather than belief, to remind me to read and study God’s Word, etc. I know about myself that if I don’t have someone to hold me accountable to something, then I will slide on by without giving it a second thought.

I want to review Hebrews 12:1-3: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who faced such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Running the race that Christ has marked out for us takes endurance, and perseverance. It’s not something that you can finish in a day. It will take you your entire life, until the very day you die. None of us have the zeal to make it a lifetime without tiring or losing patience at some point. Zeal helps us to start the race at a steady speed, but endurance is what will keep us fueled and going strong. Without endurance, running this race is going to be extremely difficult.

We are not alone, however, in running this race. We are “surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses”. We have built-in accountability partners! We don’t have to do this by ourselves! That should be an encouragement. And not only are we not alone, but we have something to look forward to, to fix our eyes on – the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Is that not encouraging as well?

Another point often ignored is that of self-discipline. Running this race requires this discipline. How could you run a race and complete it without any discipline?

1 Corinthians 9:24-27: Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

To tie this back to the first part of my post, I am struggling to run this race. It is not a very easy part to run right now. I need endurance, perseverance, self-discipline, accountability, to rely on belief rather than feeling, and to grow closer to my Lord. Apart from Him, I can do nothing.

Reminder From Getting Carsick

Hey guys! I have some great tips for some of you who struggle with this certain area. This frustrating field is that of “getting carsick”. First tip: Don’t move from flat land to reeeally hilly/mountainous land, like from Texas to Pennsylvania. There’s no good transition there.

Secondly, don’t try to text anybody or change the time zone on your iPod, because that’s a really bad idea. Don’t even try it to prove that I’m right.

Third, don’t close your eyes. That just makes it WORSE. Want to know how I know all of these things? Can you say “lots of personal experience”?

Ok, so now serious. 🙂 I get motion sick, and a form of it is getting carsick. I can’t read, do something that requires looking down, etc. So today, I had an hour car ride through the hilly back roads, and for me it was not fun. But, I discovered a tactic that helped temporarily. I was able to stare at the sky (which was so beautiful… I get side-tracked easily), and that eased the churning of the brain and stomach somewhat. Since I get side-tracked so easily, I’m also prone to find serious tips out of odd object lessons. My weird brain suddenly compared the carsickness and keeping my eyes fixed on the sky, to that of life being so crazy and chaotic, and keeping my eyes fixed on the Lord.

There are seriously days when it’s like life is just whizzing by, everything’s happening so fast, and there’s no way to slow it down. Nothing seems to be steady or stable, and it’s a chaotic craziness that sometimes seems like it won’t end. Keep your eyes steadily fixed on the Lord. He is the only thing that will never change, and that’s the only stable, steady thing that we can really hold on to. I know y’all already know this, but I’ve heard it for forever, too, and I still need that reminder. When life is whizzing by and you can’t slow it down, keep your eyes on the Lord; He is the only thing that we can hold on to that will never change.

Lessons Learned From Jonah

Something scary happened this morning. I read through the book of Jonah for my Bible reading. (That’s not the scary part.) As I was reading, I was noting several similarities between myself and Jonah, as well as the men at sea with him in a certain part of the classic tale. (That’s the scary part.) So here are some things that stood out to me as I read through this book.

We all know how the story goes. But what I find interesting is that the very first action we see from Jonah is disobedience toward the Lord.

Jonah 1:1-2: The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” We see that God has issued a decree. He has given Jonah a command, and an explanation – He’s not just sending him on a blind mission. Go and preach against it, its wickedness has come up before the Lord.

v.3: But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

[blink] Really? God says “Go”, to which Jonah replies with, “No”. Notice though that God doesn’t strike him with lightening or kill him on the spot for his defiance. He lets him go his own way, He allows him to disobey. Jonah had some time to think this through as he fled. He could have stopped, turned around, and fulfilled his command. I wonder if he was feeling extremely guilty, or if he was completely hard-hearted about the matter as he fled.

How often does God give us a command and we reject it? How can we criticize Jonah for his act of disobedience when we do the same thing?

The next thing I notice is that first we have these sailors on the ship during the storm, crying out to each of their gods in fear, and then suddenly they’re praying to the Lord, making vows and offering sacrifices. Why the sudden turn of events?

v. 11: The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So [the sailors] asked [Jonah], “What should we do to you to make the sea calm down before us?”
“Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”
Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried out to the Lord, “Please, Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.” Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows to Him.

Think back to the story of Gideon, when he demanded a sign of the Lord. We are born people of sight and not of faith. Seeing and believing is far easier than believing in things that you cannot see. They saw this amazing thing take place – they threw this man overboard, who was running away from his God, therefore causing the storm, and his God was so powerful that He stopped the storm. Talk about a miracle. How often do you think we would “greatly fear the Lord” if He would show us obvious miracles such as that? Does this not say something about our faith in and fear of Him now?

Here’s where Jonah gets his consequences of disobedience. Not only is he thrown overboard into a wild sea, but he’s swallowed by a huge fish. Notice though, God was merciful in allowing him to be swallowed by the fish. He spared Jonah’s life by allowing this to happen, instead of letting him drown, or actually be torn apart and killed by sea life. I know that being swallowed by a huge fish isn’t exactly what we would think of when we picture an act of mercy, but this sheds a different light on the hard times in life. When we’re going through a hard time, what if it’s actually a big fish, mercifully sparing us of something far worse? It doesn’t mean it’s pleasant, but sometimes God shows mercy to us in ways we don’t always imagine, much less see as acts of mercy at the time.

God goes even further to demonstrate His mercy by hearing Jonah’s prayer, and causing the fish to vomit Jonah onto dry land. This is more of the act of mercy we would picture – being saved from our hard time.

Then, the Lord repeats His command a second time. I picture that like a gentle slap in the face: “Remember, that thing I told you to do earlier? You wanna go down that same route again, or just do as I asked you to do before?” Jonah 3:3: Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh…

Chapter 4 starts to reflect my true self more, sadly. In Jonah 3:10: When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, He relented and did not bring on them the destruction He had threatened. (Another act of mercy, anyone? I mean, these people’s wickedness had come up before God, for crying out loud, it sounds like they deserved said destruction…) But in 4:1, it reads: But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “Isn’t this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”
But the Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry?” (To which I might add, Jonah’s reply is not recorded.)

First, Jonah gets angry that destruction has not come to Nineveh. Then he starts making excuses to justify his fleeing to Tarshish. He then ends his complaint with a cry to die. Sounds like something I would do. I would have been up “at a place east of the city” (v.5), waiting to see what would happen for it. I would get mad that these people that I had fled from, then eventually braved, were not being destroyed. I would want justice.

V. 5: Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he had made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the plant. (Interjection: Me, being very happy for a shady tree on a Texas summer afternoon.) But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”
But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?”
“It is,” he said. “And I’m so angry I wish I were dead.”
But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left – and also many animals?”

And here is where the book just ends. We don’t see if Jonah feels remorse and guilt over his actions, or if he stays stubborn and resentful. But we do see that God uses object lessons. Just as Jonah cared for the plant, God cared for Nineveh, and for far greater reason. The cold, hard truth is that Jonah simply didn’t care. That’s easy for us to say about his situation. We look at it, shake our heads, and say he was stupid to act that way. But how many times have we been more concerned with our own personal comfort, provision, and needs instead of the needs of hundreds or thousands of others whose needs far surpass our own? How can we point the finger at Jonah, when we’ve repeated his same foolish mistakes so many times ourselves?

I love this story; it shows how someone who believes in God still makes stupid choices, acts foolishly, pays the consequences, and God still loves ‘em and shows them mercy. I am a Jonah. I have disobeyed God, ignored His acts of mercy and focused on the negative rather than the positive, and cared more about myself than meeting the needs of His people. I am one of the men at sea – I believe things far easier when I can see the proof, the evidence, and the miracles. We strive to live like Jesus, but so often fall into living like Jonah!

Update

Hey guys. It’s me. I haven’t been run over by a train, come down with a lethal illness, or been abducted by aliens, in case you were wondering. These past few weeks have been a learning segment for me rather than teaching, so I haven’t had much to say or write here. I haven’t forgotten y’all, I promise. I’ve tried several times to write about what I’m learning, but I’m not at the point yet where I’ve overcome it and am ready to share how I got to there. So just letting y’all know, I’m still here, just haven’t had anything to say lately. 🙂

This Thing Called “Life”

I am afraid. Of life. It haunts me with realities that I don’t want to face, questions to which I have no answers, and futures that are shrouded in mystery. It’s hard, this thing called life, and the realization that I’m stuck in it is scary and overwhelming. I have one shot, one chance to live it to the fullest and do what’s right. If I fail, there’s no going back, no reversing the clock, no changing my mistakes. I am forced to live it whether I want to or not.

But I have an advantage that so many don’t. I have a purpose, a reason for being here. I was created for a special task, a certain thing to be accomplished; I don’t have to wander around listlessly, wondering why I’m here. And I have the best Guide to help me through this crazy adventure. The best part is, my Guide knows every twist and turn of my path. He knows the course I will take, and has each step planned out. What’s more, my Guide is my guardian and protector, who watches over me and provides for each and every need. And, He is always with me, every step of the way; my constant comforter and companion.

Is that not exhilarating? My best friend is my protector and leader. Who can complain? Yes, life is hard – sometimes, the pain is unspeakable. But through this thing called life, we have a Guide, a protector, a provider and friend, who can, and will, see us through. Isn’t that incredible?

Good post

Here’s an encouraging post by Luke LeFevre:

http://allornothingblog.com/blog/2015/7/20/purity-isnt-something-thats-lost-its-gained

Guest Post

Today I have Cassie here with a guest post! Thanks, Cassie!

——

How to Compliment the Other Gender

Ah, the age-old question – how does one compliment the other gender without coming off creepy or flirty? (Actually, it’s not age-old. At all. It’s really very recent.) It’s a tough one, isn’t it? I have, like any other Christian teen, thought over this long and hard. And I’ve had too many discussions about it with friends to count. There’s usually a few reoccurring answers. And some different ones. It’s often all quite a muddle.

Until now.

This came to me very randomly one night. It took a bit of re-working to get straight, but finally, it’s complete.

Introducing the formula for how to compliment the other gender without sounding flirty or creepy!!

• Signals
• Heartfelt and genuine
• Restraint
• Evenly distribute
• Wait
• Don’t stress!

As you can see, this spells SHREWD. Rather fitting, no? Let’s extrapolate on each of those a bit.

Signals. This mean body language, tone, etc. These will likely make or break your compliment! Have an open tone, not a suggestive one. Keep your face an posture friendly, not flirty. (Girls especially – watch your eyes! Don’t pour ‘hidden meaning’ into them! Don’t stare too deeply!)

Heartfelt and genuine. This is so key! If you’re giving a compliment for the wrong reasons, it will show. Keep it genuine, and it will be far more likely to be taken well.

Restraint. (This one is probably more for girls, but it does go both ways.) Don’t lay it on too thick! Keep it simple. This is probably one of the hardest ones for me – I have a tendency to get way over-excited and pour all of it into my compliment. Gosh, that is not wise. You can be excited, and take a few sentences if need be, but don’t go overboard! Rein back, exercise some restraint.

Evenly distribute. Give compliments to everyone! Guy or girl, old or young, scatter the seed broad! It is suspicious when the only compliments you give are to that one girl/guy. If you don’t want to be taken the wrong way, make sure you’re not treating them as more special than anyone else. Treat everyone as special!

Wait. This one is the partner of Restraint. It applies especially when communicating electronically. Waiting a period of time before giving a compliment allows any excess emotion to cool off and blow away, leaving the ‘air’ around a compliment clearer and less confusing. Now, obviously you can’t wait before giving every compliment. Some are applicable only in the moment. But when you can, it’s a good idea. I find it best if I write/plan a compliment when I think of it, then wait overnight. I then come back to it, edit it if necessary, and deliver it.

Don’t stress out! Chill! If you’ve done what you can, don’t freak out over how a compliment is going to be received! Relax, people. The world isn’t going to end if you’re misinterpreted. Just try your best, and let it go. 🙂

There you have it! My best attempt at consolidating many discussions into a single acronym. There is more to be said on this topic, of course (feel free to chat in the comments!), but in my opinion, these are the basics. Hope it helps!

Cassie at Purely His

Reflecting on Death

At the original time of this writing, I’d just returned from a walk in an old cemetery. It was a beautiful evening; I was regretting not having brought my camera. The sunset was gorgeous, casting pink and orange rays across the sky, just above the mountains. It was perfect weather, with a cool, gentle breeze. There were some huge, beautiful trees. But my mind had zoned out from the surrounding beauty; my eyes were on the grave markers lined row after row, stretching on and on before me.

The dates ranged through early 1700s-mid 1900s. There were Revolutionary War vets, Civil War vets, WWII vets. There were families, uncles, aunts, sisters. But there were a few things that just made my heart ache. The engravings eroded away, lost forever. The stones sunk deep in the ground, almost out of sight, forgotten. The stones that simply read, “MOTHER”. But what got me the most, was the children.

There was a family, buried together; father, mother, and children. One child died at the age of 3, one at 3 months, and the other, unnamed, died an infant.

I thought about the pain, the loss this family must have felt. It must have been unbearable, to lose three of their children. I thought of their grief, their agony.

And they were not alone. Another family, buried together, had a 12 year old child and an 11 year old child who died. They, too, must have felt the unbelievable pain of loss.

I’ve lost people I’ve loved in death. Not many, but a few. It’s hard. It hurts, and there’s a lot of heartache and tears. You never fully recover.

But there’s a hope that we can cling to as we grieve over the death of those we love. As long as those we’ve lost are Believers, we will see them again. Death is not the end – it is the beginning. The beginning of a life free of pain, sorrow, regret, full of happiness, joy, peace, for those who believe. It is not something to be feared. We grieve because we will never again see our loved ones on this side of heaven, but we should rejoice that they are in a far better place.

It was a strange, I admit even creepy, sensation to look at the name on a grave stone and know that they were in either heaven or hell. Death sheds a whole new light on spreading the gospel. It comes so fast, so unexpectedly. You never have the assurance of tomorrow. Don’t you want to look at the name on a grave stone and know that their soul rejoices in heaven? As Believers, we have that duty to fulfill, that job to do. It is our assignment to win souls to Christ’s kingdom, before it is too late.

The thought of death may be frightening and scary. But it doesn’t have to be. Believers can have peace about life after death. Don’t you want to share that peace?

Less of Me

I had no clue how self-focused I am. I am so self-absorbed, blinded by my miniscule problems and bad attitudes. I’m so selfish, I didn’t even recognize how bad it was!

The other day, I was worrying over the problems of someone who had shared some really sad stuff with me. I hate seeing someone suffer, and knowing that I can do nothing for them. (Watching helplessly as someone suffers, especially if it’s a friend, and having questions with no answers, are two of the top things I hate.) I was thinking about their circumstance, and though I was praying, I wished that there was something more that I could be doing. It was as I was thinking these thoughts that it suddenly hit me – I hadn’t thought about my own problems since I had started worrying about this person. The past couple weeks had been terrible for me; I was an emotional wreck. But since I had heard this stuff from this person, my mind had shifted from my problems to theirs.

It made me go back and remember how this had happened before. When my friend was struggling with her calling to write, and she was going through a hard time, I was worried for her. I called her to check in with her, to let her talk. When my friend went overseas for a couple weeks, I was worried about him. I prayed for him every single day he was gone. When a friend was feeling down, feeling like she wouldn’t match up to everything she wanted to be, I prayed for her, and tried to offer encouragement. Thinking back on these made me remember that even though I still struggled with things, it helped take the focus off of myself. Being worried about someone else forced me to shift mindsets. It was good for me to love someone else above my own cares and concerns.

I love the friends I have; when they hurt, I hurt. When they’re happy about something, I’m happy about it too. But it hadn’t really clicked until the other day that when I’m focusing on others, really loving them and trying to invest in them, to be there for them, that my own cares slip away. I start to lay awake at night, praying and hurting for someone. I start to think about them through the day, lamenting that there’s nothing I can do. And thoughts of my own troubles not only diminish in relevance, but also get pushed aside.

Does this mean my troubles go away? No. But when I start to truly love and care about others the same way that I love and care about myself, I start to see myself slowly slip away. And it’s a truly wonderful thing!

Notes on Following Him

While I wait for the ice cream maker to chill in the freezer so that I can indulge my gluttonous side, I thought I’d  write down my thoughts from today. (Edit: I typed this up this Sunday afternoon, bear in mind for the following. [And as a side note, I did make my ice cream. It was delicious.])

We’re looking for a new church home up here, and so we’re visiting new churches every week. This morning, we tried a new place, and I’ve been reflecting on the message all day.

A part of the message talked about the life of James and John, sons of Zebedee, of how they were called to give  up everything they owned to follow Christ. The pastor spoke a little bit on the cost of serving Him, which is  something I always enjoy hearing or reading about, even if it’s a concept that I’m well familiar with. I always  marvel at the obedience of the disciples when they were first called. The twelve didn’t ask questions, they didn’t  complain, they didn’t refuse, and they didn’t ignore. They “simply” obeyed when He spoke to them, saying  “Come, follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” They left their homes. They left their families. They left  their friends, their job, and their whole world, to follow someone who was considered a lunatic. This was a life –  changing choice. Things would never be the same, and they had to know that going into it. They didn’t blindly  follow this crazy miracle worker and just hope things were going to turn out all right. They had an insane amount  of faith in Jesus when they cast aside everything they had known for their entire lives to follow Him and not go  back.

I have to wonder what it would be like for me, if I had been one of those disciples. What would I have done? I’d  like to say the common, cliché Christian answer, “Oh yes, I would have given up my whole world in a heartbeat  to follow Jesus.” Really? I can’t honesty say that. And I don’t think you honestly could, either. We like to give  ourselves so much strength because we bear the Christian label. Being a Christian does not automatically  make us unsusceptible to weakness and fleshly struggles. True, we have a hope and a cause worth dying for,  but that doesn’t mean that we’re so strong that we would gladly toss our lives to the wind to follow Him in every  way, shape, and form. You don’t ever hear about the stories of Christians who failed; you only hear about the  martyrs, the missionaries who have resounding testimonies across the world. You only hear the successes, not  the losses to the kingdom of God. We’re humans, and we have a sinful nature – we fail sometimes. A lot.

“But Lauren,” I hear you cry, “God does call us to surrender our lives, to throw aside the world as we know it, so  we can whole – heartedly follow Him!” Yeah, I’m not saying that’s not true. But how honestly can you say that  our generation of Christians here in America have the same value on faith as the disciples did then? We’re  perfectly fine living in our comfortable homes, with our comfortable lifestyles, paychecks, and sports cars. We  like our life just as it is, with the occasional helping in a ministry downtown, or handing out food packages to the  homeless one Saturday a month. We’ll give money to the charities, and the organizations. We’re good people,  leading good lives. Right? So why would we have to give anything up when we’re already doing a good job with  what we already have?

We don’t take our faith seriously anymore. We don’t have the life – or – death view of Christianity. Christianity is  just a label now, just an act we put on every Sunday. How many people do you know who take their faith  literally, who would really give up their life to follow Him? How many people do you know who care about  pleasing Him and living a life according to His will?  How many people do you know who view Christianity as  their life instead of an aspect to their life?

So would we honestly be willing to pay the price, to bear the cost of truly, whole – heartedly following Him?  Would you be willing to give up your friends, your popularity, your respect from man, your job (subject to change  depending on readers), your family, your dreams, your goals, your future, even your physical life to follow Him?

What does following Him even look like? I admit, I had to stop typing and think when I reached this point.  Following Him is a deeper concept than we realize. Looking at the life of the disciples as an example, I found a  few things that I think come as a part of following Him.

1. These disciples surrenderedthemselves to submit themselves to their master. They were giving their lives  over to be controlled by someone greater than themselves. They had to rely on Him for everything, every  aspect of their life. They didn’t belong to themselves anymore. They were willing to surrender their  dreams, their family, their job, their life, everything, to be mastered by Jesus.

2. They had a love so strong, it surpassed the love for their family, their jobs, their life. They had a love that  was sincere and centered on what should be first; not focused on other aspects of life that will fade away  without eternal value. They had a deep love for their Savior, and that came before anything else.

3. They had a willing spirit. They weren’t grudging or bitter, they didn’t ignore or refuse. They didn’t plead or  grovel. They willingly put everything aside to pick up their cross and follow Him. They were willing to  accept this change in life to obey the calling of the Lord.

4. They weren’t satisfied with simply trotting beside Jesus and watching Him perform these miracles and  works of wonder. They wanted to know more; they asked Him questions. They weren’t satisfied with the  simple kind of Christianity – they wanted to know more about their Savior. They were at His side  constantly.

5. They didn’t back out because it was “too hard”. They didn’t have a job with steady income, ways to  promote a service for money, or constant provisions. They had to rely on the generosity and hospitality of  others, without knowing what the next day would hold. It was hard. But they didn’t back out. They stayed  with Him, and remained true when answering His calling. They weren’t cowards. They had courage.

6. They didn’t view Jesus as a cruel overlord. They loved Him deeply. Even though Peter denied Him, he  wept bitterly at what he had done. They were close to Him. They didn’t see Him as an evil master to whom  they were sold into slavery. Yes, they were slaves to their master – but they didn’t view Him as a tyrant.  They saw Him as a friend, someone to whom they would owe their life.

7. They trusted Him with their lives. They trusted Him to provide for their needs, physically and spiritually.  They had such an intimate, sincere trust in Him.

I guess those few points kind of look like keys to having a good relationship with Christ. I suppose they could be  used as such, but that’s not what I was trying to get at. These things come with following Christ. When we follow  Him, the points above are required. Apart from that, there is no whole – heartedly following Him. Of course there  will be aspects that I missed. Those were some key things I saw that stood out to me. If you see anything else, I  would LOVE for you to mention it!

I don’t believe in this day and age here, in America, we’re truly following Christ. We’re simply living the epitome  of rock bottom Christianity, the lowest you can get and still call yourself a Christian. We fulfill the obligatory  requirements of going to church weekly, going to youth group (which I don’t, and I have my particular reasons  for not doing so), volunteering in ministry from time to time, going on those mission trips to Seattle, and giving 5  bucks to the guy under the bridge every once in a while. Are these things bad? No! But is this the utmost of  Christianity? Is this how Jesus has called us to live solely for Him? I don’t have the exact answer for how He  calls each of us to live; I believe that there is a certain personal conviction to that area. But I know that there is  so much more than giving money to the homeless under the bridge. I’m not saying you have to die a martyrs  death in China to truly live Christianity. But isn’t there more to Christianity than how we live our lives now?  Aren’t we just ignoring His still and small, “Follow Me”? It’s too uncomfortable, isn’t it?

I think of the passage from Luke, vs. 9:57-62:

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 

Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

He said to another man, “Follow Me.” 

But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

 

I personally instantly feel for the second and third people in this passage. I mean, the guy only wants to bury his  father! Apparently, his father had just died; he had to be grieving and feeling a lot of pain. That had to be the  thing on his mind the most. The second guy only wanted to say goodbye to his family. But they valued this over  Jesus Christ, and were not fit for service in the kingdom of God. Honestly, that makes me evaluate my own  fitness for service. Am I willing to forgo my family in order to serve Christ? Am I willing to just leave them in the  dirt as I serve Him? It doesn’t make sense. But then again, when did Christianity ever make 100% sense?

I would like to think that I’m ready to serve the Lord. I’d like to think that I’m ready to go wherever He calls me  with no exceptions, no limitations, no standards or expectations. But it’s HARD. It takes courage, bravery,  strength, trust, love… it takes a lot from our end. But is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY. In the end, which has more  eternal value: my dreams and goals, or abandoning all to serve in His kingdom? My friends and family, or my  Father and King? Following Him truly and whole – heartedly is a huge leap of faith that I’m going to have to  decide to do, to set my mind to it. It’s not going to be something that comes naturally, and certainly not easily in  the least. But will it be worth it all in the end? Yes!

If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters – yes, even  their own life – such a person cannot be my disciples. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me  cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26-27)

The Small Hard Things

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always imagined using my life to do glamorous things for the Lord. Hard things, courageous things, life and world changing things. I envisioned helping orphans in Africa, or leading youth to Christ in the U.S. I pictured spending my life traveling the world to make disciples of all nations, to encourage the believers and spread the gospel to those who have never heard it. I imagined doing things no one had ever heard of before, making an impact in millions of lives, making a difference, and changing the world. I mean, aren’t all of those noble ambitions? Don’t tell me you haven’t had similar dreams before!

What I didn’t picture was sitting in my room at midnight, my eyes welling up with tears, heart aching, because I was alone. I didn’t imagine resisting the urge to get online instead of study for a test. I didn’t dream of working hard all day to get ready for a move I loathed. I didn’t think I’d be sitting in my room with my cat in my lap, blogging my complaints, if you will. That’s not my ideal life! Instead of helping orphans in Africa, I’m watching my spoiled, bratty toddler brother (whom I love with everything in me; he’s just battling some serious sin nature right now!). Instead of traveling the world to make disciples, I’m at home doing school and the honorary job of unpacking. And I sit here moaning, “Why? Why, God, would you leave me here, when I have such a vision for my life? Why do you have me here when I could be out doing great things for you? Why aren’t you using my heart to reach out and touch many souls? Why won’t you let me go and do hard things? Why, God?”

Just because I’m not helping orphans in Africa doesn’t mean that I don’t have a purpose where I’m at now. Just because I’m not gallivanting across the world, digging wells and helping end starvation, doesn’t mean that I’m not here for a reason.

We’ve created this mental image of “doing hard things” as something glamorous and people-pleasing; something heart-wrenching, something moving, touching, with an eye-catching headline in the newspaper. We didn’t picture the “hard thing” as investing in our brother, or learning how to handle a friend’s insensitivity with a gentle answer. You won’t see the “Girl Refuses To Sing A Song: ‘I don’t think it’s right to sing this’” headline in your local newspaper (true life story of mine, by the way…). If we were to compare most of our lives with the common standard of “doing hard things”, we would come up as lazy slobs who weren’t even remotely interested in doing hard things! Not all of us have lived the glorious life of translating Bibles into another language or fighting abortion in the States. We don’t all live up to these (rather unrealistic) expectations.

The truth of it is, we won’t all live up to those expectations. Not all of us were made to be public speakers, to be overseas missionaries, to save orphans in Africa. Just because we weren’t made to do those things, doesn’t mean that we’re not doing hard things at home.

That’s what took me so long to realize.

The church where I spent 3 ½ years of my life, emphasized missions and missionaries. It supports every missionary it can get its hands on. Every kid there has read the missionary biographies, knows the missionary quotes, and everyone participates in the kids outreach ministries. Evangelism is strongly emphasized. Naturally, as first budding in spiritual growth there, I soaked up everything I heard. I already had a heart for missions, but this kindled it even more so! They made missionaries sound so glamorous, and I was inspired by almost every missionary that came through those doors. They made missions seem like such a hard thing, such a noble thing, that I aspired to do go. I wanted to do hard things.

I grew discontented with life at home. My brothers irritated me, my school work aggravated me, and my daily, menial tasks grew burdensome. I wanted to be in Africa, helping people, saving lives, making a difference! I wanted to be turning the world upside down for Christ! It wasn’t until a few months ago when it suddenly hit me – that light-bulb moment, that duh factor. Even though I had read Alex and Brett Harris’ Do Hard Things and Start Here (both of which I HIGHLY recommend – no, insist that you read), and knew that they had even mentioned that hard things didn’t always mean things like overseas missions, I still “dreamed big”. But I was overlooking the things God had already placed in my life. I was ignoring my sibling relationships, I was neglecting my school work, I was giving my daily life minimal effort, placing my thoughts in the future and days to come. I was living ahead of myself, if you will.

Responding to my sibling with grace instead of witty back-and-forth banter is hard. Ignoring my online social world so I can focus on studying for a test is hard. Waking up to another day of the exact same thing is hard. Exhausting myself physically, mentally, and emotionally for a full day for something I don’t enjoy is hard. Putting others’ needs before my own is hard. (Ignoring the ice cream in the freezer is hard…) The list goes on and on. These would be considered the “small” things of life, right? But are they easy? No…

The main point I want to make is this. Don’t disillusion yourself (as I did). Don’t think that the big things, your main goals, your dreams, are the only hard things in life. Yes, they’re hard, but so are the “small” things. Hard things aren’t just the glamorous, world-changing things. The “small” hard things are just as important. The Lord sees your heart; He knows your motives. He appreciates your faithfulness in the little things just as much as in the big things. Do the small hard things faithfully, with joy – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Col. 3:23-24)

Some Good Thoughts

http://allornothingblog.com/blog/2015/6/6/we-should-be-being-persecuted-more

Guest Post

“…and others were tortured, not accepting their release, in order that they might obtain a better  resurrection.” –(Heb. 11:35)

When we read the Bible, we see a recurring theme appear. In my opinion, Jesus says it best in John 16:33  where he tell the disciples, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the  world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” Right there, in plain simple  English, Jesus promises that in this world, we will have trouble. His church will be persecuted.

Now most if not all of the readers of this blog live in countries that guarantee freedom of religion for their  citizens. However, even a cursory look at world affairs will reveal that this is not true the whole world over.  You’ll read of girls kidnapped in Nigeria, children stolen in Sudan, pastors arrested in China, wives  divorced and sometimes martyred in Afghanistan, and churches destroyed in Egypt.

Unfortunately, our typical American Christian response is to heave a big sigh, look mournful for a moment  or two, then continue along our ordinary lives, as oblivious to the sufferings of the church in Africa and Asia  as the next guy. And even more unfortunate, even as I write this, I continue to do so on a daily basis.

What are we missing? Why do we fall to the same apathy that the world does? Well, I think there are  several reasons. But one pivotal reason is that we fail to see our relationships with the persecuted church  overseas.

That pastor shot while standing at his pulpit, that’s my brother. And that girl kicked out of her Muslim  family and left destitute on the streets, she’s my sister. We don’t get that. If we did, we’d live like it.

If you told me today that my sister was destitute on a street in Iraq, I would drop everything. I would sell  whatever I needed to, I would do whatever necessary to get me to her. I would do whatever in my power to  rescue her, to provide for her, to protect her, and to shelter her. Why? Because I love her! Because she’s  my sister!

Yet when I read that a young Christian girl has been kicked out of her Muslim home, what is my initial  response? Is it to drop to my knees and pour out my heart in prayer to God for her? Is it to give,  sacrificially, to rescue her? Sadly, no. If I’m honest, I’m much more likely to feel regretful, even sorrowful  for her, for a moment, before moving along with my life, forgetting she ever existed. Maybe I’ll offer up a  prayer or two for her every once in a while, but if I am honest, I do not love her like a sister. I don’t live or  pray like she is my family, and I am hers.

When we hear stories of the persecution going on in other countries, of children kidnapped for child  soldiers or girls kidnapped for slavery, our hearts should break. Notice I didn’t say we should be noticeably  disturbed for a day. No, our hearts should break for the broken. If we love like Jesus loved, we see these  people not as strangers in Africa or yet another number or statistic on a page but as a soul, a precious  soul, who is of infinite value to the Father.

Rom. 12 is a part of Romans where Paul is describing what dedicated service to Christ looks like. Here is  where he describes the church as a body, dependent on one another and on the head for life. But he also  includes another verse that we too often read as nice poetry or a pretty slogan in v. 15. “Rejoice with those  who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

Now, I’m going to jump off onto what appears to be a rabbit trail, but don’t worry. It comes back to my  original point. When you stub your toe, what is your first reaction? Is it to very solemnly and soberly stand  there, keeping very good posture, and say with a clear, enunciated voice, “Ouch. That really hurt.”? Is that  your first inclination?

If so, you’re a better person than me. My first inclination is to clutch my foot to my midriff with my hand, and  bounce around very actively on my good foot, while growling, moaning, groaning, and screaming, “Ow, ow,  ow, ow, ow!” Maybe I’ll even add an “owie” in there for good measure!

But when I felt the pain of my stubbed toe, what was my body’s first reaction? Was it my brain’s reaction to  tell my toe, “Hey, suck it up! It’s just a stubbed toe, man. Calm down!” No, it was for my entire body to jump  into motion to protect the toe! My hand reaches down to cup it, my mouth instantly starts voicing it’s  complaints, and my good foot takes full responsibility of holding up my body.

What’s my point through this whole story? What we in America do right now in regard to the persecuted  church is much more akin to my first option than my second stubbed toe story. We tend to glance down at  the injured toe, the persecuted church, and say, “Oh, that must hurt a lot. Oh, gotta go now.” And we walk  out the door, turning our backs to the needy and putting them out of our minds in favor of our mental  comfort.

But what’s Paul’s take on that? Does he sympathize with our stand – off approach? What does he tell us to  do? Weep with them. When their heart is broken, our hearts should be broken with them. When they hurt,  we hurt. When they’re persecuted, we’re persecuted. We are one church, one body, with one Lord. And  when one member of the body is hurt, we all hurt.

What we’re missing is the weeping with those who weep. We prefer to stand stiffly alongside and pretend  we didn’t see. We tend to act as if it’s not there, as if it’s a different story and someone else’s responsibility  to weep with them and love them.

No, it’s ours. It’s our job to pray, to weep, to love them. It’s our job to remember them, to intercede for  them, to pour out our hearts for them. That our job. I’m tired of standing off to the side while others hurt. I’m  tired of pretending it’s not happening or imaging the hurt isn’t there.

Now, I read some of your thoughts. I realize this blog is geared toward teens. Most of the readers are  teens. You don’t have an endless supply of money that you can go and help, even if your going did help.  But if you notice, Paul’s command was not to go help them out. Sure, that’s great if you can! Please do!

But that’s not what he said. He said to weep with them. Basically, don’t ignore them! Face the truth, face  the situation, and weep! Allow your heart to be broken over the pain of our brothers and sisters, and pour  out your hearts in prayer for them.

It’s time we stopped pretending. There are a whole lot of people in the church today who prefer the easy  way out. It’s easier to ignore them. It’s easier to put it off for someone else to do. It’s easier to stand there  like a stone wall rather than allow yourself the openness of sympathy and love. And sadly, you can pretend  they don’t exist. That’s a viable option, one thousands of Christians across the free world take every year,  every day in fact. You can pretend that they aren’t suffering, that they are not in pain, and that you will  never face God.

But I hope that that’s not us. I hope that we are a part of that generation that God has raised up for such a  time as now. I hope we are the guys and girls who will stand up, accept the vulnerability of loving our  brothers and our sisters, and pray for them. Allow our hearts to be broken. That’s your sister in the mud in  Nigeria. That’s your brother in a prison in China.

—————

Taylor B. at Grace Did Much More Abound

Poem

Afraid? Of What?
To feel the spirit’s glad release?
To pass from pain to perfect peace,
The strife and strain of life to cease?
Afraid – of that?
Afraid? Of What?
Afraid to see the Savior’s face
To hear His welcome, and to trace
The glory gleam from wounds of grace?
Afraid – of that?
Afraid? Of What?
A flash, a crash, a pierced heart;
Darkness, light, O Heaven’s art!
A wound of His a counterpart!
Afraid – of that?
Afraid? Of What?
To do by death what life could not –
Baptize with blood a stony plot,
Till souls shall blossom from the spot?
Afraid – of that?

– E. H. Hamilton

Great Articles

Here are two articles that I really enjoyed reading recently, and wanted to share:

http://www.daringdaughters.org/elisabeth-elliot/

http://notesfrommycornerofcreation.blogspot.com/2015/06/watching-sunrise.html

Surrender Your Dreams

Of course, right when I’m the most busy, I suddenly get inspiration for posts (however short)! I’m supposed to be studying for a test as I write this, but my mind can’t focus, and I can’t make myself pay attention to every unimportant fact about the Northeast’s geographic features. Solution – I focus on a post instead! I think I’ve got this procrastination thing nailed down…

Anyway, to my post. I’ve already shared my desire to go to Africa for mission work one day; missions has been an interest of mine since I was little. But I’ve been dreaming about Africa a lot lately, and it’s gotten me discouraged. I really want to be in Africa right now. Really bad. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m really desiring to honor, serve, and glorify God with my whole life, and I’ve got a long way to go. I believe God has laid it on my heart to serve Him in Africa one day, and I really wish I could be there, though I’ve never been to Africa in my life. (In fact, the “Africa” section of my geography book is a major distraction I keep flipping to – not good for a restless mind needing to study the States!) But I can’t be there now, for many obvious reasons. I’ve been wanting to go on a trip to Africa for a year now, and haven’t been able to for financial reasons. I’m discouraged.

I was sharing my disappointment and discouragement with a friend a few days ago, and they told me a point that gave me a new perspective on my ambition. They told me to surrender my dream to God, to give it up completely. Heard it before? Not a revolutionary phrase? It was for me. I’ve heard it before; “Give God your dreams”. But I hadn’t considered that in light of this dream of mine. I mean, I’ve viewed my desire to go to Africa one day as “from God”, so why would I give it up if it was from Him? Why would I surrender my dream of doing what I believe God desires me to?

It’s not my dream. It’s not my vision. It is a dream God agave me, for the purpose of His glory. He did not give it to me and say, “Go; use it well, and use it wisely.” He says, “Here is this dream; I will show you how I want you to use it. I will use you where I want to use you. I will use you when I want to use you. I will open the doors, make the path, make a way – only, leave it up to me. Don’t take it upon yourself. Apart from me, you can do nothing.” How many times do we take our future, our goals, our dreams, our ambitions, into our own hands? How many times do we think we’ve got it under control, or stress out trying to figure out what happens next? He has a plan for us, to give us hope and a future and for us to prosper, He’s not going to give you a dream and turn you loose to figure out what to do with it. He doesn’t always make the way crystal clear, but He’s not going to just abandon you and leave you to go it alone. He gives us dreams to give us a direction and a passion for doing it all for His glory. He did not give us dreams to do with as we please, and to use for our own selfish gain or interest. He gave us dreams, that we might glorify Him through them.

If God wants me in Africa one day, then for crying out loud He will make a way one day! Instead of gazing off into space, daydreaming of another place I can’t be used in now, I need to focus on how I can be used where I am now.

Surrender your dreams. Give them up. That doesn’t mean to kill your dreams; it simply means give up your “right” to them, your “ownership”. Your dream does not belong to you; it is not yours. Give your dreams to God, and allow Him to show you how they can be used for His glory.

Now, off to go study for a test!

Friendship with Expectations

I am sensing something very wrong going on in my heart-of-hearts, a very disturbing thing I’ve allowed to creep in and set roots. I probably let it enter in by some other name, cleverly concealed under the disguise of a good motive. Perhaps it even started as a good motive, that was twisted into a corrupt mindset. Anyway, it’s here, and now I have to deal with it. And that is this. I have been living as if people live for me.

“What!” I hear you cry. “The one who blabs about selfless love and self-centeredness actually thinks people live for her?” That’s certainly how I’ve been acting lately.

I think I take friendships too seriously.For the past 5 years, I’ve been hurt and abandoned by even those I once called a “good friend”. I’ve wanted a true friend that won’t abandon me, who will be loyal, true, supportive, and caring. I’ve had a few icky situations happen over the past few years that have been caused by friends, and caused friendships to die. Anyway, if a friend now tells me that they’re there for me, and are willing to talk, I get a little too excited. If a friend hurts me, I grieve. If I see a friend is struggling, I want and try to help them. I’m starting to fear that I’m a little too deep that way. If I commit myself to you, I will be there. I will care. You may hurt me and I will grieve, but if I have made an effort to love you and try to be a true friend to you, I will forgive you and still be there for you.

But this is where I begin to falter in my thinking. I am right to try to be a friend to you and love you, but my natural expectation is that if I commit myself to you, you should commit yourself to me. My immediate expectation is if I invest in you, you should invest in me; if I care about you, you should care about me; if I make time for you, you should make time for me, etc. Ladies and gentlemen, this is wrong. These expectations are unfair and are ruining friendships. We all have expectations from people; my expectations may be different from yours, but we all have automatic expectations nonetheless. People don’t play by our rules, and we don’t set the standards. Friendships involve two people, going both ways; not one person dictating and the other failing to meet the expectations set. The sooner we get rid of our expectations in friendships, the sooner we will enjoy them to the fullest and have a blessed friendship.

I have been living as if my friends existed solely for me. As if they only breathed to be there for me, to pray for me, to encourage me. This past week, such an example occurred. I was in a place where I had to say final goodbyes and see people for the last time. I was feeling extremely alone, and was dying for someone to come up and talk with me, but for a long time no one did. Eventually, I got to talk a little bit with a couple friends and tell them goodbye, but my expectations got the best of me. I expected people to think of me and come and talk to me. I expected people to spend time with me. My expectations weren’t met, and therefore I was disappointed. Seeing the flaw in my attitude? People don’t live for me! (Duh!) When you go on as if they do, it not only creates a selfish mindset, attitude, and heart, but brings many disappointments. I don’t exist for you. You don’t exist for me. We exist to glorify our Creator and share His glory with all the nations… How are we supposed to do that when we’re busy focusing on how So-and-So didn’t do such-and-such like we had expected them to? Our expectations are ruining our friendships, and the sooner we get rid of them, the happier we will be.

I take friendships too seriously. Not everyone has the same definition of “friendship” that I do – in fact, I am pretty sure that most (if not all?) of my friends have a different definition. But that’s okay. If I give selfless love, invest in them, show I care, and do it all with no expectations and no selfish interest, I’ve glorified God in the process by showing love to others. Everything is for His glory, right? Be the friend to others you want others to be to you.

Christ Is Our Healing

I know, I know, you’re probably tired of hearing from me. I promise, last post for a little while. I probably won’t be able to post on Monday, so you get off easy this time! Anyway…

I am finally learning one of those duh lessons. But when it’s something you’ve lived for so long, has been a seeming comfort, and has been something you’ve so heavily relied on, reality comes as a slap in the face. I am learning that Christ is our only refuge, the only person who loves us unconditionally and despite ourselves, the only friend who will never leave us, and the only source of true comfort, rest, and peace.

This is one of those obvious things, right? Haven’t we ALL heard this whole thing before? But if you’ve sought refuge, untarnished love, loyal friendship, and comfort from any mortal being before, then this final realization is both a hurt and a healing.

It hurts to finally realize that people aren’t perfect. People in your life will come and go. They will break their word, abandon you, lie to you, deceive you, let you down, disappoint you, and hurt you. They will pretend to be someone they’re not, just for you. They might be there for you for a time, giving you the comforting words you want to hear, being a friend to you for a season. (Please note, I’m not saying all people are like this at all! I’m speaking generically, for the sake of the unity of the post.) But people come and go, all the time. You can’t expect someone to stick around and be there for you for forever!

This is why Christ is our healing. When we are hurt by the world, we find He is our healing. He is perfect. He will never let us down, abandon us, deceive us, or hurt us. He is the only refuge, comfort, friend, and love that will never fade away. He doesn’t change. He is always there for you, no matter what. I know it seems like an elementary concept, but just think about it. He is almighty, unchanging, unfailing, unconditionally loving, and He is there for me. And He’s there for you.

What Life Would Be Like

Ignore the fact that they are playing in a scrap yard. Pay attention to the lyrics. It’s a good song.

That Moment…

There’s that moment, that moment when you finally get it into your head that you will never be good enough. You will never fit in. You will never be accepted as “normal”. You will never be liked by the world. You will never be perfect, in attitude, appearance, or personality. You will never be good enough for others.

But then, there’s that moment that counters it, that moment when you realize that you don’t have to be “good enough”. There is a family who loves you for exactly who you are, and they don’t want you to change. Without you, they would be incomplete. They need you, want you, and love you. They think you’re “good enough.”

And besides your family, and ultimately most important, there is a Savior that loves you far beyond any love you’ve ever known. He doesn’t want you to change who you are – He made you who you are! He accepts you just as you are! He knows you will never be perfect; He doesn’t ask you to be. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you when no one else does. He accepts you when you have been rejected by everyone else. He cherishes you, treasures you, and loves you with a true, sincere, unconditional love. And that moment is like none other.

Ceiling fans, Un-Birthdays, Jeans, and the like

Wow. I had not planned to post today, but wow. I started writing down all of my blessings from today, and couldn’t stop there. I had to keep going over this weekend, and wow. God is SO good, so abundant in His blessings to us that we take it for granted, and don’t even stop to be thankful for it. (Did I mention WOW??) That being said, here are some of the blessings He has given me lately:

• No cavities at today’s dentist appointment *Score!*
• Peanut butter shakes with chocolate – on my diet!
• MercyMe’s song “Free”
• Emails from a friend
• Comments on my blog
• People praying for me and my family
• Comfy jeans
• Free, bouncy hair (I thought that ’cause I got it cut yesterday, and compared to the length it was before, it feels short and bouncy and free.)
• Friends who remind me of my un-birthdays (From Alice in Wonderland. I’ve never seen it, but a friend told me about it and reminded me a few days ago that it was my un-birthday.)
• A good performance at a piano recital
• Ceiling fans and A/C (‘Cause it’s already a hot summer here.)
• An awesomely fun night with two friends looking at another friend’s collection of Teenager Posts
• Communion
• Humming to an 80s song on bunk beds with a crazy “little” brother
• Soft, green grass and clear blue skies
• A big, open living room floor, perfect for twirling while holding a toddler on your hip (albeit clumsily)
• Bacon and eggs while watching National Treasure 2 for the first time
• Blogs that inspire, challenge, and encourage me
• Getting to be a friend to two girls who normally have no one to talk to on Sundays

I want to stop taking these “little” things for granted. I want to appreciate them like never before, and see them as gifts from God. God is SO good!!

Dearest Readers…

Hello, me again. I am moving in approximately 16 days, so we will be a little bit busy for the next month; my posting will probably be sporadic. Thank you all so much for your reading, comments, and encouragement – you are what makes blogging worthwhile!

A Couple Thoughts on Patience

I am discovering more and more people who struggle with this thing called patience. While I’m not really  the right one to talk about patience (‘cause I got this one down… NOT!), hearing that others struggle with  this as well has made me stop and think about what “patience” really means.

Two references of “patience” come quickly to mind: 1 Cor. 13:4, and Gal. 5:22. Two very popular verses.  However, I want to examine their context just a little bit more thoroughly.

Gal. 5:22 is the beginning of the list of the fruit of the Spirit: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,  patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self – control. Against such things there is no  law. Those who belong in Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live  by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (vs. 22-25)

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit… walk with the Spirit…. remain in the Spirit…  bear fruit in the Spirit…

 

I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from  me you can do nothing. (Jn. 15:5)

There it is, cut – and – dried. Those who remain in the Spirit, who keep in step with the Spirit, will bear much  fruit. And the fruit of the Spirit includes patience.

1 Cor. 13:4 ties directly back to Gal. 5:22 in a sense. Love is patient, love is kind… Love is a fruit of the  Spirit. As is patience.

But how does this truly apply to us? Yes, we’re Christians, but we still struggle with patience!

First of all, there is a difference between knowing Christ in your head and knowing Him in your heart. If you  simply know Him in your head, you will still be guided by your heart, which does not naturally live according  to the Spirit; “those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” You  may know in your head what is right, but your heart will still be governed by its passions and desires.

However, if you know Christ in your heart, you will have Him as Lord over your life, governing the center of  what drives you – your heart. Having a heart ruled by the Lord drives you to seek after Him, leading to a life  in the Spirit, and bearing much fruit…

Ultimately, to walk with the Spirit, you need to seek after Him with all your heart, not your head. Real  passion, real motivation, real desire, doesn’t come from your head – it comes from your heart.

And walking with the Spirit takes time. It requires you to put forth some effort. You have to invest yourself  into walking with the Spirit. But isn’t it worth it? I mean, apart from Him, we can do absolutely nothing.

I’m not veering off – topic. I’m describing how we can have this patience we so desperately need in life.  Walk with the Spirit, and you will have patience, along with so much more.

Another thing I’ve noted about patience is that it requires trust. For example, they say to wait on God’s  timing. If I don’t trust that God will open doors for me, or that He has a plan for my life far better than my  mind can comprehend, etc., how am I supposed to wait patiently on His timing? If I don’t trust that He will  do what He has promised to do, how am I supposed to be patiently waiting for Him to fulfill it? If I have  patience, I am trusting that He will do whatever He has said He will do, and I can wait with that peace of  mind, because I trust Him. If I wait with impatience on Him, I do not have trust in Him that He can or will do  what He has promised.

Patience is rarely easy. But sometimes, patience is a test of our faith. How much do we really trust Him?  Sometimes, in the technical sense of the phrase, He really does “try our patience”. How you exhibit  patience will be evidence of your walk in the Spirit.

Random, Silly Post – Liebster Award

Dearest Cassie,

While I was just as nominated by Rachel as you were, here ya go. Just for you, sister! 🙂

Cassie nominated me for the Liebster Award, y’all. Here are the rules:

Link back to the blogger who nominated you. (Cassie – girls, she’s got an AWESOME blog, ya gotta check it out.) Answer their questions. Nominate other bloggers, and ask them 11 questions.

Here are Cassie’s questions (and my answers):

1.) Why do you blog?

I blog in the hopes that my lessons, thoughts/opinions on ideas, and observations will encourage someone in some way to grow closer to the Lord.

2.) Who are the most supportive people in your life?

Number one, my mom. I don’t want to think about the shape I’d be in without her. She’s absolutely awesome. Moving outside of my family, Taylor B., and does the Revive community count?

3.) How many siblings do you have?

Two brothers. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

4.) What is your favorite board/card game?

Hmm, for cards, I like a round of Spoons every now and then. For board game, Risk ranks high up there.

5.) If you could have dinner with one person, past or present, who would it be?

Jesus. Man, can y’all imagine what that would be like?! You get to see Him face-to-face, ask Him all the questions you’ve ever had, get to hear His teaching and actually be right there with Him…

6.) What are three top things you’d look for in a spouse (BESIDES being a strong Christian)?

Bummer, you took my top one. Someone who loves me for who I am, not for how I can benefit them or what I’m good at. Someone who is willing to listen to advice and instruction, who is quick to listen and slow to speak. Someone who is likeminded in major beliefs.

7.) What do you want to be when you grow up?

A missionary.

8.) What is a good book you read recently?

Mere Christianity. ‘Nuff said.

9.) What is your (very brief) opinion on crushes?

Keepin’ it brief, there’s nothing wrong with a crush. It’s how you handle the crush that frequently turns wrong.

10.) Does your family have a TV?

Yep. However, much to the dismay/shock of many people I’ve met, we do not have satellite. So, to watch anything, we stream from Netflix or watch movies.

To nominate people… my acquaintance with bloggers is rather slack, unfortunately. So, it’s open to whoever wants to do it. If you want to, consider yourself nominated. (But someone please do it, don’t make me go to all this work for naught and look like a fool.)

Here are my questions:

1.) What is your testimony?

2.) What is one circumstance God has used to draw you closer to Him?

3.) What are two ways God has blessed you in the past week?

4.) What are some books that have helped you grow spiritually?

5.) What are your standards for the books you read, movies you watch, etc.?

6.) What are some scriptures that have gotten you through hard times?

7.) What advice would you give to someone who is looking up to you?

8.) What are your standards for close friendships?

9.) What is some helpful advice someone’s given you?

10.) What is something the Lord has been teaching you lately?

11.) Do you like Oreos dipped in milk? (A lighter question, since the others were more serious and this is a silly post.)

Somebody, enjoy.

Reflection – Pt. 2

I was really pleasantly surprised with your responses to my last post, thanks for indulging me! So what I’ve been thinking about is how much I actually live those things out. I talk about loving others, but how much do I actually do that myself? How often do I really practice self-control? How do I exhibit gentleness? And I hardly know the meaning of the word “patience”!

How frequently am I a hearer of the Word, but not a doer? How often do I fail to “practice what I preach”? My intention and hope of having you define each word was to try to share what’s been challenging me with you all. *Note: I didn’t say “y’all”. I am making a conscious effort to try not to ward you off with my Texan-isms. Back to seriousness.* I know thinking about what each definition implied, and how I showed and practiced those things in my life, really made me stop and evaluate how I am walking with Christ. I’ve got a long way to go! I hope that had some kind of effect on you all as well!

Reflection – Pt. 1

This is the first part of something I’ve been thinking about today, and hopefully it will challenge y’all as well. If you would oblige me as much, how would you define the following:

• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Goodness
• Faithfulness
• Gentleness
• Self-control

Hero – Abandon

I love this song. I haven’t heard any other stuff done by Abandon, but I absolutely love this song. So here it is, with non-graphic footage from The Passion.

Peace

I happened to stumble across this verse yesterday, and I had to share it here. Jn. 14:27: “Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled.”

Read it again. “My peace I give you…” Is that not comforting in and of itself? He does not give as the world gives; His peace is different than any peace the world knows. He gives us His peace, a peace that passes all understanding. So don’t let your hearts be troubled – He gives you His peace.

My Thoughts on Overseas Missions

I have a strong desire to go out on the mission field one day. I have since I was little. I’ve heard the  missionary stories for years – Jim Elliott, Amy Carmichael, Hudson Taylor, Eric Liddell, all those heroes of  the faith. They were all fulfiling the Great Commission. And that’s my ambition, my goal, my dream. I want  to make an impact on the world for Christ.

Jesus has commanded us all to further His kingdom in Mt. 28:19 – 20 and Mk. 16:15. I once struggled with  the definite meaning of these verses. Is everyone, then, supposed to “go into all the world and make  disciples of all nations”? After all, Jesus wasn’t singling anyone out, it could very well have been only to His  disciples. Yet I knew every believer was called to be a witness to Christ, and to me the only logical way  was mission work. I was seriously struggling with what these verses implied. I even got into an argument  with a friend about it, much to my regret later. However, I have reached my final conclusion, and that is  this. No, not everyone is to go to another country to be a missionary. Not everyone is required to leave their  homes, their families, their friends, to go to another country.

At first, I had viewed the idea of staying at home, in your city, away from a foreign country, with scorn. I  thought it was just an excuse to “keep from fulfilling the Great Commission”. I thought it was simply the  excuse of “God has not called me to do mission work”. But it’s true. Not everyone is called to go to some  far off country to do mission work.

However, I don’t mean this as an excuse to glide over those verses (and the others like it) in the Bible, and  forget this idea of mission work. You are still called to do “mission work”. Though it may not be another  country, you are called to be a witness and testimony to Christ, and further His kingdom. You are a follower  of Christ; you are to do His will. You are to tell others of His love and gift of salvation.

If you are called to another country, then by all means, go! God has used many people overseas. But He  uses people here, too. And that’s what took me so long to realize. You don’t absolutely have to go to  another country (provided God has not directed you to go). There are thousands right here where you live  that are still dying without hope, without the Gospel. And you have that opportunity waiting for you. You  have that chance to make a change, to lead a soul to Christ. You have that chance on a daily basis.

I also know that people view overseas mission work as “doing a hard thing” (to all you Rebelutionaries out  there). I’ve fallen in that category. That’s something I struggle with even still. In my mind, I’d much rather be  helping orphans over in Africa than stuck at the computer doing math! But we have idolized overseas  missions. We have viewed them with too much admiration. Yes, going to help orphans in Africa is a noble  deed, but it’s just as noble as taking food to the homeless in the dark depths of Houston (which can be a  scary place, just for the record). The geographical location of outreach is irrelevant when looked at  objectively, from an eternal perspective. You’re still reaching out to others regardless of where you are.  Yet, overseas missionaries are still idolized. Your work overseas may have more challenges, but the  African soul you lead to Christ holds the same value as the Houston soul I lead to Christ. The “nobility” of  each of our actions, our stories, our character, is of equal value from an eternal perspective. Overseas  missions are wonderful, courageous, and effective, please don’t get me wrong. But please, don’t over – glamorize mission work in other countries. It takes  alot of courage to approach the stranger on the street,  and it’s still wonderful and effective.

Please don’t think that I’m running down overseas mission work or the missionaries who work in foreign  countries. On the contrary, I want to go! I want to go to Africa one day, and am hoping and praying against  all odds to go on a mission trip to Malawi this fall. I sincerely desire to be a missionary to another country.  There is a place in the world for overseas missionaries and a dire need in many countries to hear the  Gospel. There are millions of people across the world who die without ever having joy, peace, freedom,  without ever having hope, or hearing the Gospel. The point I was trying to make is that we are all called to  be missionaries, even if it is not in the sense of how missionareis are thought of today.

Be the missionary in your country. Be the missionary in your city, your street. Missionaries aren’t defined  as “those who go to another country to serve Christ”. Be a witness to Christ right here, right now. Reach  out and show God’s love to others, and share the story of your faith in Jesus. Tell others – strangers,  friends, family – of this undeserved gift of salvation. You don’t have to wait until you’re “more experienced”  or “older”. People around you need you right now to share the reason for the hope that you have.  Considering Christ’s work on Calvary, don’t we kind of owe this to Him?

I originally wrote this to share what I call my own “personal commission”. Acts 26:17b – 18: I am sending  you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God,  so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.

This is what we are called to do. This is what I want to do.

Mt. 9:37 – 38: Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord  of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest.” 

In closing, I want to say again that I really am not trying to run down overseas missions. Honestly, I’m not;  I want to go myself. I’m just trying to shed light on the other end of the spectrum that people typically  forget. Yes, we can glamorize the work in foreign countries, but we can’t neglect our own country here.

 

Existence Update

Dear World:

This is an existence update. I do have a post for y’all (sorry it’s been a while), but unfortunately we will be out of town for the next week and I will be unable to post. Sorry about that.

Also, any prayers for our prayers would be greatly appreciated. We need to find a house as quickly as possible, and we’re running out of time. And, though my attitude has changed tremendously since my first post about the move, it’s still hard to move away from my best friends, my awesome state, and the like. So thank y’all so much, I’ll hopefully be back to posting in a week or so!

When I Want to Burn My To-Do List…

Do you ever have days when you feel like you’re just a mess? When your day goes completely wrong, you lash out at your brother, you still have that untouched geography book on the bed next to you, and you’re in a constant battle with your emotions?

Yeah, that was me today. I only got half the things done I wanted/need to. My geography book is haunting me out of the corner of my eye, silently reminding me I have a test tomorrow that I need to study for. My emotions have been on a crazy roller-coaster ride for the past 3 months. I need to be doing extra school, since I’ll be out of town all of next week. I haven’t been reading the Bible like I should have for the past two weeks. I need to write blog posts. I have a book I really need to finish. And it’s 4:23 in the afternoon.

And it all makes me want to hide in my closet with a bag of salted almonds and chocolate (my refuge) and not come out. Ever.

What can we do for this to get better? How can it be fixed? There’s no sappy, easy, comfortable answer that I’m aware of (y’all correct me if you know of an easy way). You just have to push on. You have to keep going. You can’t allow yourself to stay there, only dreaming of the motivation to do it. You have to persevere, to keep at it even when everything in you screams to quit. You have to just do it, whether you feel like or not, which is always the hardest thing to do, at least for me anyway. This season of life WILL pass, and soon the things that trouble you now will be far behind you. Keep that in mind as you face whatever daily struggles you have to battle with. And remember, you’re not the only one.

Dedicated to Two Amazing People

I know I posted this particular post on Mikayla’s blog some time ago (click here to see the post), but I  wanted to post it here with an additional forward and update. I have been struck again by the amazing  impact of friendship. I have time and time again wondered if I have true friends – and I have discovered  that I do. I may only have a couple of people I would consider to be true friends, but let me tell you  these are amazing people that I completely respect, admire, and trust. And I am so grateful to these  people who have invested so much in me, despite every flaw in me and every mistake I’ve ever made.  I have discovered there really are people in the world who love with a selfless love. So this post is comprised of what two people have taught me that being a friend means. That being said,  here is my post:

Due to my own recent experiences, I’ve been struggling with what a true friend is. Everyone wants a  best friend who’s just as crazy as they are, who will follow them always and have their backs. Right?  But seriously, how many “best friends” have we had that match that description; and have only lasted  for a season? How many times have we had these “best friends”, and our friendship eventually fades  away? Why does this happen?

I want a true friend. I want a friend like Jonathan. Samuel 18:1 says that he “became one in spirit with  David, and he loved him as himself.” It is rare to have the pleasure of having a friend who will love you  as they love themselves. Why? It’s a simple answer.

We are so self – centered, so self – focused, that is is the basis for our friendships. We form our  friendships around what we can get out of the other person, instead of how we can give. This is why  friendships die; there was no love, only self. The most meaningful, close friendships that I have are  because someone has given encouragement and love to me when I had nothing to offer in return. If  we truly love someone, we will want them for who they are instead of how they will benefit us. We will  love them and want to encourage them in their walk with the Lord, instead of someone else we can  talk to about ourselves. We will not only speak, but we will listen.

Jonathan demonstrates this selfless love. He loved David as he loved himself! He interceded with his  father, Saul, on David’s behalf. He helped David to escape Saul’s wrath, to preserve his life – all  because of the love he had for his friend! He did nothing based on what he could get out of it, only on  how he could help David, because he loved him with a selfless love. Read the accounts of David’s  interactions with Jonathan – it is a great example of true friendship.

Jesus is obviously the prime example of a selfless love. He loved us long before we ever loved Him –  not because of “how He could benefit from us”, but because He truly, deeply loves us.

So, what is a best friend? Someone who really, honestly loves you with a selfless love. There’s nothing  wrong with short – term friendships, and there’s certainly no way we can stop a friend from leaving us  or turning on us. But we should become the type of friend that we want others to be to us. I said that  it’s rare to experience a selfless friendship. That’s true, but that realization forces me to challenge  myself. Have I demonstrated that selfless love? No. I am a selfish human being; I acknowledge that. I  really can’t have expectations for others when I don’t even meet them myself. But don’t be  discouraged; it’s rare to find someone who will truly love you. We have to rejoice in whom God has  placed in our lives at this time, and do our best to encourage and love others.

More From Jeremiah

Yes, I’m back with more from Jeremiah. Sorry for not posting a lot recently, things have been a little  strange on my side as of late. Thanks for putting up with my inconsistency, and for all of your support!

So in my last post, I left it with the stubborn generation that God was going to destroy for their idols  and adultery. Here I am now in chapter 23, and God has not relented. He still is angered by this  generation’s choice, lack of repentance, and stubbornness. He still is going to punish Jerusalem for  their denial. I will be skipping over some chapters here and there, so just bear with me.

Ch. 7:23 – 24: But I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my  people. Walk in obedience to all I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or  pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward.” 

 

“They followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts”… oh, does that sound like me sometimes!  How many times have we rejected His commands, disregarded Him and flat – out disobeyed? But it  does not pain us, for we follow the stubborn inclinations of our evil hearts. In Ch. 17:9, it says, “The  heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” A common verse we’ve  all heard at one time or another goes hand – in – hand with this line of thinking: Isaiah 55:8: “’For my  thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens  are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Stubbornness blinds people. It keeps us from seeing things the way they really are, because of the  evil desires in our hearts. This is not an excuse, however, to spurn His commands. It is a warning  against the stubbornness that we cannot see in our own lives. However, He gives us the confidence,  the affirmation that if we walk in obedience to all he commands of us, it will go well with us. He will be  our God, and we will be His people.

Ch. 9:24: ”But let the one who boasts boast about this; that they have the understanding to know me,  that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.” 

 

Wait, isn’t this the same God who is about to completely annihilate Jerusalem for their idolatry and  adultery? Why, yes it is. How can this be? Because He is the Lord who exercises kindness, justice  and righteousness on earth. It is completely just for the Lord to exhibit His wrath on this generation,  because justice commands that He punish them for disobeying His commands. These people have  repeatedly, stubbornly committed this offense against His command, and as a result, they are to be  punished and have brought this upon themselves.

Ch. 13:1-11 tells of how the Lord commanded Jeremiah to purchase a linen belt and put it around his  waist, but to not let it touch water. He then was to take it to Perath and hide it there in a crevice in the  rocks. After this too was done, many days later the Lord had him return to the rocks and retrieve the  belt. However, when he took it from the place he had hidden it, it was “ruined and completely useless”  (v. 7).  V. 8-11: Then the word of the Lord came to me: “This is what the Lord says: ‘In the same way I  will ruin the pride of Judah and the great pride of Jerusalem. These wicked people, who refuse to listen  to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship  them, will be like this belt – completely useless! For as a belt is bound around the waist, so I bound all  the people of Israel and all the people of Judah to me,’ declares the Lord, ‘to be my people for my  renown and praise and honor. But they have not listened.’” 

 

God binds us to Him to be His people for His renown and praise and honor. But it is still our choice.  We can either listen, or we can choose to ignore. Those who ignore will be completely useless.

Ch. 16:17: “My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from  my eyes.” 

 

Is that not a scary thought? Sure we all know in our heads that it’s true, but getting it known in our  hearts is another story. Every time we sinned, if we knew that none of it was concealed from the eyes  that truly mattered, what kind of difference would that make? What gets me is that even my thoughts,  the things that we think but never say (or wish we could, but know we shouldn’t), He still knows! It  makes no difference whether they’re oral or mental, He knows either way!

Ch. 17:5: This is what the Lord says: “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from  mere flesh and who turns away from the Lord.” 

 

This goes perfectly with Psalm 118:8: It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.  What I find interesting, however, is that God doesn’t say that it’s impossible to draw strength from man.  He doesn’t say that it’s not possible to trust in man; only cursed is the one who does. How many of us  have trusted in others, have drawn strength from them, even spiritually, and have turned to them  instead of the Lord? He is to be our ultimate source of strength, the One we trust the most. We can  trust in others, we can draw strength from them; however, it cannot be so much that we look to them  instead of the Lord. We cannot turn away from the Lord for the sake of mere flesh. V. 7 offers a  blessing: But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. 

 

Ch. 19 – 20 I find extremely interesting, as such a great reminder. Ch. 19 delves into what Jeremiah is  to prophesy, as the Lord is telling it to him. Then at the very beginning of ch. 20, Jeremiah prophecies  exactly as the Lord has commanded him to, and Pashur, the official in charge of the temple of the  Lord, has Jeremiah beaten and put in the stocks at the Upper Gate of Benjamin at the Lord’s temple.  Really? Jeremiah did just what the Lord had instructed him to do, and that was what he received? But  this is just another example of what we hear all the time: following the Lord is not an easy thing. And it  most certainly doesn’t always make sense. It doesn’t always seem like it’s fair, or just, or even right.  But that doesn’t make our job any different. That doesn’t change our responsibility. If the Lord has  given you a command, it is your duty to fulfill that command, even if you are persecuted for it.

As far as Jerusalem goes in the book, it is still idolatrous, still adulterous, still rejects God and refuses  to repent. The Lord still intends to judge the people according to their sins. And one day, we should  expect the same.

(P.S. Sorry about the formatting, I wasn’t sure how to fix it.)

Why – Nichole Nordeman

So this is not a traditional Easter song, but I really like it.

Easter Verses

No, I do not have a highly-spiritual post for Easter. Honestly, I don’t have a lot of time anymore to write blog posts. However, I do think that Easter is something that cannot, should not, go unobserved. It is the most significant holiday for any Believer, and the reason for this day is the reason for the joy that we have. Jesus Christ is risen today. He took my place on the cross and died for my sin, and fulfilled the prophecies and rose again on the third day. He is alive. Death could not hold Him; He is our victory. This is the reason for the joy that we have.

Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 Corinthians 15:3-4: “For what I received I passed on to you as first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.”

1 Corinthians 15:56-57: “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

2 Corinthians 5:14-15: “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” 

Colossians 2:13-14: “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.”

John 19:30: “When he had received the drink, Jesus said, ‘It is finished’. With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.”

This is why we can have joy. Jesus died for you and me, for all of us. Our sins have been forgiven through Jesus’ death on the cross. This is why the resurrection means so much to us. We can have a joy because Jesus conquered the grave. He is alive!

Things I Learned From Jeremiah 1-5

Alright, I give full credit to Cassie. She inspired me to get into the book of Jeremiah. So far I’m only up  through ch. 6, but oh man has it been good! I wanted to touch on a few things that have stood out to  me through the chapters I’ve read.

Ch. 1:4-8: “The word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,  before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’ ‘Alas, Sovereign  Lord,’ I said, ‘I do not know how to speak; I am too young.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, “I am  too young”. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid  of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,’ declares the Lord.”

This is a huge reminder to me, that God uses young people to do great things. Age is irrelevant; if God  has given you an assignment, it is your duty to fulfill it. He is with us – there is no reason to be afraid!  Our age is totally beside the point. We cannot use that as an excuse to ignore what God wants us to  do.

V.17-19: ‘Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified  by them, or I will terrify you before them. Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a  bronze wall to stand against the whole land – against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and  the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will  rescue you,’ declares the Lord.

I find this very interesting. God tells him to prepare, to get ready, to stand up and say to them what he  has been commanded to say. But he ends by telling him that they will fight against him, but will not  overcome him, for he will be rescued. Can you imagine what that would have been like, if you knew  the outcome, if you knew what was to happen? I know that if I knew that I would not be overcome, I  certainly wouldn’t go to all that effort! But he had to anyway, even though he knew he would not be  overcome. He still had to get ready, to stand and speak.

Ch. 2:20:  ‘Long ago you broke off your yoke and tore off your bonds; you said, “I will not serve you!’  Indeed, on every high hill and under every spreading tree you lay down as a prostitute. I had planted  you like a choice vine of sound and reliable stock. How then did you turn against me into a corrupt,  wild vine?’ 

Kind of as a background for what was happening, Jerusalem has rejected God and has instead turned  to adultery and worshiping false gods. What I find sadly intriguing, however, is our similarity to  Jerusalem’s generation. This is our generation! How many times have we broke off Christ’s yoke, tore  off our bonds, and said that we will not serve Him? And does it not pain us to realize this? He had  planted us “like a choice vine of sound and reliable stock.” How then did we turn against Him into a  corrupt, wild vine? Our generation has done this! We have rejected Christ, torn off our bonds, and said  in our actions, beliefs, mindsets, attitudes, and hearts that we will not serve Him. With so much care,  He creates us, has a prosperous plan for our future, and we spin around to reject Him. This is our  generation!

Ch. 4:1-2: “If you, Israel, will return, then return to me,” declares the Lord. “If you put your detestable I dols out of my sight and no longer go astray, and if in a truthful, just and righteous way you swear,  ‘As surely as the Lord lives,’ then the nations will invoke blessings by him and in him they will boast.” 

 If our generation will return at all, we must return to Him. He wants to rain His blessings on us, but how  can He when we have rejected Him and turned from Him? We do not give Him that chance; we are  unfaithful to Him.

18: “Your own conduct and actions have brought this on you. This is your punishment. How bitter  it is! How it pierces to the heart!” 

Ouch! Ouch! So true! We have to pay the consequences for our own actions, no matter how hard it  hurts. We bring it upon ourselves! We have to endure the punishment, not because it is unjust or  unfair, but because we have done it to ourselves with every choice we made, every step we took in  the wrong direction. We have no one to blame for the punishment but ourselves.

Ch. 5:3: Lord, do not your eyes look for truth? You struck them, but they felt no pain; you crushed  them, but they refused correction. They made their faces harder than stone and refused to repent. 

V.5-6: …But with one accord they too had broken off the yoke and torn off the bonds. Therefore a lion  from the forest will attack them, a wolf from the desert will ravage them, a leopard will lie in wait near  their towns to tear to pieces any who venture out, for their rebellion is great and their backslidings  many. 

 This is our generation! He disciplines us, but we are so stubborn, so stupid, so willful, and so  rebellious, that we refuse to repent! He tries to correct us, but we refuse to repent! We are so caught  up in our idolatry that we refuse to repent! Is this not the generation we live in today? Is this not what  our generation as a whole has done to our God? We have turned from Him, rejected Him, and refused  to repent. We have fallen to false gods and adultery. Our generation must return to Him, we must  repent. We are prey for the Enemy. We have broken off the yoke and torn off the bonds. Our  generation now must pay the punishment for what they have chosen.

So, that’s what’s stuck out to me so far… I am looking forward to seeing what else I will learn  through the rest of the book!

Names of God

I’ve always found the different names of God very interesting. So I thought I’d post just a few here:

                                              Jehoshua: Yahweh is deliverance

                                             Jehovah-jireh: Jehovah will provide (or see)

                                             Jehovah-shalom: Jehovah is peace

                                             Jehova-shammah: The Lord is there

Christ Is Our Master

There’s a concept that we find very hard to grasp. It’s something we don’t like to admit to ourselves, to fully  embrace with our minds. It’s uncomfortable, and we often don’t like to acknowledge that it’s true. It is  simple: we do not belong to ourselves. We are not free. And we’re all the better for it.

It’s true that we are free, in a sense – God has freed us from our bondage in sin. He has delivered us, and  set us free. However, He freed us because He bought us with a price; we are freed from sin, yet slaves to  Him because He bought us. This is the easy part to acknowledge.

The hardest part to grasp is that we should be living as if we were bought. We view Jesus’ death on the  cross as the price paid for our sins, and now we are free – but nothing more. We do not live as if He paid  the ultimate price for us. We take advantage of His mercy and grace. We did nothing to deserve His love!  And yet, we live as if we do. We live our lives for ourselves, without a second thought.

This is not what we as believers should do. He bought us; is it not a given that we serve Him all of our  days? Just because we are born again does not give us leave to live our lives for ourselves. Everything we  do should be to honor and glorify God. He bought us with His love! We have taken that undeserved love  and grace for granted. How can we do this to the one who set us free?

Christ is our Master. It is our duty – no, our privilege – to serve Him as His servants, bought with His  unconditional love.

You Are Not Alone

I know I haven’t posted in a while, and I’m sorry about that. I know this is really short, but I really haven’t had much to say, or  the time to write it down. There are times that God wants us to teach, and times when He wants us to be taught. I have been  going through a season of being taught, and it’s been really hard. Through the preparation of moving, I have to constantly  remind myself that I’m not the only one who’s going through this. I have to remind myself that I’m not alone.

And we so often forget that. When we’re faced with hard situations, it’s easy to forget that God’s always there without fail. It’s  hard to remember that we’re not alone in these trials.

Someone posed an interesting question recently in a class at my church: what would you do if you were on a steep,  dangerous mountain, blindfolded, and there was a storm coming? People asked a lot of questions to form the right answer  – could you take off your blindfold; how tall is the mountain; are you on the path? But no one asked the right question: are  you alone? The answer is, you are not alone. On that dangerous mountain, you have the best trail guide with you, who has  been up and down the mountain a billion times, and who can take you down safely.

The scenario was used as an illustration: we are not alone on whatever mountain we are stuck on. We have the best guide  in the world with us, ready to hold our hand and carry us through whatever it is we’re facing. He is with us even through  every trial, every situation. And the best part is, He never changes. He will always be with us, no matter what. “Jesus Christ  is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Heb. 13:8)

Psalm 18:2

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Lessons I’m Learning Through the Move

It’s easy to tell others what to do. I’m pretty sure my brother would say I’m exceptional in the art of telling him what to do  and how to do it. However, it’s harder to do what you tell others to do, or to “practice what you preach”. This blog is about  the things I’ve been learning, yes, but there are times when you are really tested on how well you know them. Just like in  school – you may think you know something, but until you’re tested on it, you don’t really know how much of that knowledge  you’ve retained. Thus is the case right now, in this certain time of my life. I think in writing previous posts, it’s been  preparing me for this season. On influence, self-centeredness, love for others… I’m having to put that into practice daily.

As I’ve said before, I’m not happy about having to move to PA. I don’t want to leave my beautiful state and everything in it  I love. I’m quite content where I am. But I’ve been subconsciously having a bad attitude about it and pretending not to. I  finally came to this realization a little over a week ago – I’m behaving just like a child! Since I don’t get what I want, I’m  going to pout about it, so my attitude has shown. All I’ve done since I found out we were officially moving was complain. I  haven’t had one truly positive thing to say about it. Until a week ago. Yes, I’m going to have to leave everything, but isn’t  that an example of what we’re called to do for Christ? Leave all we’ve ever known to follow Him?

So, how does the move tie in with the lessons I’ve supposedly learned in the past? It’s quite simple, when I break it down  and look at it clearly and unbiased. Also, this is to be a “disclaimer”, if you will – I’m just as flawed and sinful as everyone  else. Just because I have a blog doesn’t mean I’m any better than anyone else. In my blog, I’m not trying to beat anyone  down, or criticize, or be mean. I only show the lessons that I’ve learned; not how I’ve learned them. I’m going to burst the  bubble of the goody – two – shoes I realize that I might have made myself out to be. So here is an honest view of what I’ve  been struggling with.

I have been self – centered beyond what I ever realized. I was focused on how I felt about moving, what I would leave  behind, what this meant for me. I completely forgot about everyone else in my family. They’re all dealing with the same  things that I am, and I’ve been too self – centered to bear that in mind. Instead of remembering that, I’ve been wallowing in  self – pity, moaning about how this is going to affect me. Big deal! I’m not the only person who’s being affected, but I sure  have acted like I am. And I’ve blown it up out or proportion in my mind (I am very dramatic and tend to over – exaggerate,  as those who know me can tell you). I’ve ignored and neglected those who are going through this move with me, due to my  own selfishness.

I’m supposed to be a good example for my brother during this move. I’m supposed to be an encouragement to him, be  positive about the whole ordeal, and not complain or gripe about it around him. Can you guess how well I’ve done in that  area? If I can’t get over my own issues, how am I going to encourage him through his? I’ve failed miserably at being a  good influence on him through this move. For all that I know, I’ve been the prime example of how not to act. How’s that for  someone who’s supposed to be encouraging others? Not only am I supposed to be a good influence on my brother, but  I’m supposed to be encouraging for my whole family, to show them that I’m accepting this with a cheerful heart and good  attitude.

I’m not loving others the way I should be. Instead, I’m hoping that they will “miss me when I leave”, and “notice that I’m  gone”. In other words, I want others (mainly my friends) to love me. Haven’t I been talking about loving others with a  selfless love? How am I demonstrating that? I’ve been convicted, yes, but this is the true test for me. I though it would be  the other way around. I thought that this would be a true test of who will stay with me even though I’m leaving and moving  cross – country. I was wrong. This is the test of how I will love others even though I’m leaving. Have I been selfless in my  relationships? I told a friend recently, I’ve started to turn my friendships to be more about me. Shame on me, yes, I know,  but true. I’m just as sinful and flawed as everyone else. I may know something in my head, but as I heard it put once, from  the head to the heart is the longest distance in the world. Actions speak louder than words. I haven’t been living what I’ve  been learning. I haven’t been loving others the way that I wish that they would love me. How can I expect something of  someone else when I haven’t demonstrated it myself?

Most of all, I haven’t been putting Christ first. I have put my own worries at the top of my concerns, and have neglected my  relationship with Him. I don’t have any excuse. He should be first in my life, my priorities, my thoughts, my heart, my words,  my actions… and I have crowded Him out by my own struggles. This is a hard time for me right now, this is when I really  need a hand to hold, someone to remind me that they’re there for me. Jesus has been there for me this whole time, and  I’ve ignored Him.

So there you have it. Those are my problems, the lessons that I’m having to live out. This wasn’t meant to be a complaint  or an appeal for attention. This was merely to show you that I’m no different than anyone else, that I have a sinful nature,  too. I realize that a lot of my posts can be “preachy”, and I want to try to dash that view. I’m just another sinful human  being who’s sharing my lessons with whoever takes the time to read and (hopefully) learn from them. Thank you so much  for the prayers, the comments, and the encouragement.

Guest Post

Today I have a guest post from my friend Mikayla over at The Bubblegum Ballerina (see my “Quick Note” post).

                                                                       When to Pray

First off I’d just like to say thank you to Lauren for letting me be here today. I’m not very graced in the art of making my spiritual thoughts coherent so please forgive my awkwardness.

When is the right time to pray? I’ve heard a lot of people ask this question and I’ve asked it myself sometimes.  I think the biggest section in the bible about prayer is in Matthew chapter 6 where God tells us to pray in our room with our door closed.

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.  But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.  And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

I think this has been one of the best chapters for my spiritual growth because I often feel uncomfortable praying aloud in front of people, not because I’m ashamed to pray but because I always felt like I was expected to say a long prayer and one that sounded correct but in this verse we’re encouraged to pray where no one can hear us but God.

We’re also told we “should always pray and not give up” in Luke 18: 1.

I think that God wants us to talk to him whenever we can because he never gets tired of talking to us and as long as you’re not praying just so people will hear us and think we are spiritual, I think you should pray no matter how small or big and no matter where you are.

Thank you for reading this!

-Mikayla-

What Christianity Has Become

I have become disturbed with what Christianity has become in today’s society. Christianity is now just a  label for those who do good works; those who usually go to church every Sunday, who volunteer with the  Salvation Army every Christmas, and have a fish sticker on the back of their car. But they get no deeper  than that. The only thing that makes them “different”, is their Christian label. But the average “Christian”  does not own up to this label – at least not by their lifestyle. I’m not just saying this because it’s what I’ve  heard before. The church that I attended for seven years of my life was full of these kinds of Christians.  They would spend all night at the local small – town bar Saturday, blaspheme the Lord’s name (amongst  other profanity), engage in sinful activities, and get up early for church Sunday. They were only hearers of  the Word, if even hearing it at only, and if not only attending to fulfill their felt obligation to feel justified to  bear their Christian title. And this is what so many do. So many use profanity, read and watch sinful  material, participate in wicked activities, and still show up every Sunday morning. They’d listen to the  message, then get up Monday morning to assume their weekly life-style.

How can they do this? How is it possible that they don’t feel the guilt and shame of being that kind of  witness and testimony to Christ?

They’ve forgotten, assuming they ever knew, what it means to be a true Christian: to be a believer in Christ.  I know I say this a lot, but it remains true: following Christ isn’t easy, and it wasn’t intended to be.  But isn’t  following Christ only half of what He deserves for dying a cruel death for us to be free? Isn’t obeying His  Word something we should automatically be doing, as He is to be our First Love? Yet we’ve ignored this to  our own benefit. How are we surrendering ourselves to Christ and making Him first in our lives when we  still cling to the things of the world we were supposed to leave behind when we decided to follow Him? It’s  simple: we can’t. “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will  be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money”. (Matthew 6:24)  Insert anything else for the word “money” – the same principle applies. What do we love? What consumes  our time, energy, and thoughts? This is the true test of where we have placed Christ in our lives. Either He  is front and center, or He is sitting on that dusty shelf in the back of your mind, where He has eagerly  waited for you to repent and return to Him.

So what is the true meaning of “Christian”? It’s defined in the Webster’s dictionary as “Believer in Christ;  pertaining to believers in Christ or to their churches; consistent with the teachings of Christ”. Believe means  to “ accept as true or truthful; have faith; accept the existence of something.” So to “believe in the Lord  Jesus Christ” is to have faith that He is the Truth. We seek after truth (who wants to be lied to?); so why  don’t we seek after Christ? “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given  to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)

Because it would mean giving up our desires, our fleshly wants. It would mean surrendering our life to  Someone we can’t see or touch. It would mean putting something else before myself. It would mean loving  something besides me.

We instantly recoil at the thought of it. Why would we, as selfish, greedy, prideful as we are, want to give up  our rights, our dreams, our hopes, our fears, and give them to the Lord? Yes, I know I talk about selfishness a lot, but it seriously is our primary focus. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved  you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you show love  to one another.” (John 13:34 – 35) “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:12  “This is my command: Love each other.” (John 15:17) We are so self – centered that we have to make  ourselves love others. We frequently make friendships for how we benefit from them. Jesus had to  command that we should love others! What should that say about us?

Christianity is a very misunderstood thing. It’s thought of as a religion, a life – style, a way of thinking. Those  are all true, in a sense. But Christianity is more than just a religion. It is simply following Christ.

Following Christ is hard. You will be persecuted, scorned, mocked, lonely. You will be hated by man. But  this is what you should expect. Jesus said “Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands  firm to the end will be saved.” (Mark 13:13) We should desire to be hated. Why? Think about it: the only  reason you wouldn’t be hated is for not living a life for Christ. If we are hated, we are living for Christ, and it  is evident. We are shining our lights, and this generation of darkness does not want to be brought into the  light. If we are accepted, we are making no difference in the world whatsoever.

So Christianity is simple: following Christ. Obeying His commands. Being a doer of the Word, and not just a  hearer. On paper, it’s not that hard. But it’s faith that keeps you persevering and pressing on through the  trials you will face in this world. Christianity is truly a test of faith.

Quick Note

Hello all! Over at The Bubblegum Ballerina today! Check it out: http://thebubblegumballerina.blogspot.com/2015/02/food-for-thought-3.html

Update

As sorry as I am to say it, our family is in the process of preparing for a cross-country move to Pennsylvania. Though this is my sixth move, it is going to be one of the hardest for me. Leaving Texas is no fun; I have a lot of pride in this state, and it’s all I’ve ever known. Leaving my friends is going to be tough; I finally have made friendships that are meaningful, friends who encourage me, challenge me, and help me grow in my walk with the Lord. So anyway, all that to say two things: 1.) Prayer for me is greatly appreciated at this time in my life right now. 2.) My posts every Monday are probably going to change. I will try to continue to post then, but I probably will not be able to make it every Monday. And as a final note, thank you so much to anyone who reads my blog. It is an encouragement to me that others take the time to read it.

Starting Over

Though this is a very short post, I think it says everything it needs to. It doesn’t take a bunch of big, fancy  words to get the point across, in my opinion.

Though this might be an obvious fact, sometimes we stray off the path. Sometimes we lose sight of the  crown ahead and compromise for earthly values. Sometimes we forget who we are in Christ and that we  are here to make a difference and create a change.

We get so far off that when we look up, we wonder how we got here. Where did we first begin to wander?  When did we first start to stray? This is when we have to push aside our pride, humble ourselves, and start  over.

It’s the small compromises that lead us down the wrong path, and sometimes we don’t know how to get  back. It’s the little choices we make, choosing wrong over right, that get us where we are now. It’s by our  own reasons that we’re doing the things we’re doing, thinking these things, saying these things, believing  these things.

A little over a year ago, I was doing great in my spiritual walk. I felt closer to God than ever before. And then  one day, things changed. I suddenly found I wasn’t getting in the Word anymore. I wasn’t praying as much.  And with those changes, I realized God felt farther from me than before. It was a sudden realization; I didn’t  know what went wrong. Where had I slipped up? What had happened?

It was the little things I had been compromising for, the temptation I didn’t flee from, the things I let creep  into my walk with God little by little that had overwhelmed me. I hadn’t been firm, I hadn’t stood my ground.  I caved. And as a result, it felt like the gap between myself and God had suddenly widened.

But though we change, God never does. He remains the same always and forever. He is the same God  today that I knew a year ago. We’re the ones that change. Now we need to go back and start over again.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that  neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God  that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 8:37-39)

For those who are lost, for those who have failed: there is a way back. Don’t let your pride hinder you from  starting over. God will never leave us nor forsake us. (Joshua 1:5)

My Thoughts on Contemporary Christian Music

I love music. I listen to it all the time. I require my music to meet certain standards, though. I believe these  standards are very biblical.  Basically, is it pure, wholesome, noble, admirable… or is it not?  Which leads  me to a very controversial topic I would like to discuss today: contemporary Christian music. (I hear the  Traditionals gasp.) I’ll be writing my own views on this issue and have thought them through very carefully.   However, I would love to hear someone else’s ideas. One of the ways that we become wise is by listening  to others’ arguments.  So, let’s hear them!  Politely and with love, though, please.

The church that I attend has the mindset that all contemporary Christian music (CCM) is evil. There is some  CCM that isn’t edifying, true, but I disagree with their blanket statement and stance. Anyway, I had it in my  head for a long time that it was just their old fashioned ways, that they simply weren’t open to any music  besides hymns. But then I started to wonder, what is their reason for so proactively speaking against CCM?  I never heard them give any proof or scripture to back up their teaching. Therefore, it made me question the  whole idea that CCM is wrong.

There was a time that I kind of believed them, that CCM was evil. I only believed them because I was at a  point where I was believing everything I heard without analyzing it. I didn’t consider myself gullible; after all,  I’ve been raised to look at everything analytically, to process what one calls “truth” and pick it apart, to  separate truth from fallacies. But I wasn’t putting this into practice; I merely accepted what our pastor stated  as truth. Therefore, I thought that hymns were the only way to go.

That was for a season. I eventually decided it wasn’t worth giving up all I had known to listen to these  hymns only. Since I wasn’t truly convicted, I didn’t act on what I had thought I believed as truth. So I  listened to CCM again. It didn’t seem in any way bad to me. If it was by a Christian artist, it had to be a  “Christian” song by my reasoning. That made sense. But then, one day, there was a special speaker at our  church revival, and he gave a message that made me question all I had thought to be true on the topic.  After hearing him speak, all of us went home convicted in one way or another. My brother and I felt  convicted of the music we listened to. I now believed that what I listened to was wrong, and I was  determined to weed out what didn’t honor God.

But I still didn’t have clear, set beliefs for what I thought was right and wrong. Again, I simply followed what  I had heard someone else proclaim as truth. So, my conviction/repentance didn’t last long. I quickly sank  back into listening to the same old music. The songs I listened to were never actually bad in themselves;  they were just really fluff, not edifying at all, but not blaring out “evil” messages, either. I always had in the  back of my head a slightly guilty feeling, though I didn’t act on it.

So eventually, I started hearing more about how this CCM stuff was bad, evil, wicked. I sort of blew it off.  There was nothing wrong with the CCM I listened to, I thought. I was hearing arguments and debates on  why it was evil, and I thought the reasons that these stubborn people were giving was all ridiculous. They  had no legitimate reasons for why CCM was wrong. It all sounded foolish, like they were trying to prove  why they were right, instead of why the belief in itself was right.

So I started doubting, starting to question my own beliefs. Why did I think that CCM was good? Was it  really? What did I believe about the music I was listening to?

I eventually came to a decision, and acted on that. This is how I determine what songs I should listen to:

The song should be God – honoring, not sound like the world in any way, and not try to draw attention to  the artist; rather, to God.

I drew this from the verse: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your  mind, that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Actually, I drew most of my  convictions from this verse. Don’t conform your mind to the world; you will grow to reject the truth. I know  this first – hand. Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you can know what God’s  will is for you. Don’t choose styles of music that sound just like the latest Taylor Swift song, done with  “Christian” lyrics. How are you separating yourself from the world when you take worldly tunes, beats, and  rhythms and set Christian lyrics to them so you can enjoy the pleasures of the world under a Christian label?  It doesn’t edify you at all as a believer, and you’re not standing out from the world.

The lyrics should be God – honoring. This one isn’t as hard to draw a line for as it may seem. Would you  feel comfortable if Christ had an earbud in, listening to it with you? Do you think He would be pleased?  Would He listen to it? Does it praise him, glorify Him, speak of Him at all? I know it sounds cliché, but it’s  true. I know of many, many songs that are just fluff; they literally have no point. It’s like a bunch of random  words flung together to a really catchy beat. I don’t think those would honor God in the least. To me, those  qualify as dishonoring God; because there’s no neutral between dishonoring and honoring.

Also, the artists have two ways they can present their music. They can do it with exaggerated voices,  showy movements, gaudy apparel, or fashionable modern poses, words, or other actions. This simply  cannot please God. What we do will reflect what condition our hearts are in; if we are filled with self and  pride, it will flow from our actions. If we are filled with Christ, everything we do will have the love of Christ  emitting from it. Or, they can present it in a humble fashion, directed toward the Lord and away from  themselves. These are key things I look for when listening to music.

I want to present my answers to some common questions concerning CCM:

Is CCM evil?

Most legalistic, traditional churches will tell you yes. I’m not here to dispute that. There are songs, as  mentioned before, that I disapprove of. However, I am not of the mindset that CCM overall is evil. I don’t  think we’re limited to hymns only. I think it depends on the song. As I’ve said, if it’s a Taylor Swift – style  song that simply has “Christian” lyrics, I don’t think it’s God – honoring. On the other hand, if it would  honor the Lord and help me to praise Him, I think it’s perfectly acceptable. It depends on your personal  conviction. I don’t know where that invisible line is drawn. I haven’t met anyone who claims to know the  answer. This is kind of a dangerous line to walk; but I can’t control your relationship with God. Only you  know the depths of how your relationship with God is growing or diminishing. You have to go by truths, and,  when it’s controversial, your convictions on how the truth is proclaimed.

But anyway, the kind of churches that oppose this style of music will tell you that it’s because it’s “worldly”. I  agree, to a large extent. Most of the CCM I hear on the radio today absolutely imitates the world. However,  much of their additional reasonings aren’t legitimate to me. I heard one man protest that you must first know  if the artist is truly saved by knowing their testimony to deem their music appropriate for listening. I disagree.  I don’t think you need to pore over every artist’s life story to approve of the songs. But then, that’s my  conviction. I’m not here to tell you what to believe. I’m just stating what I believe and feel is right.

Why do some think CCM is evil?

I briefly touched on that in the paragraph above, but I want to focus on it solely. Some think that it imitates  the world too much. Others think it encourages your interests in the style of music and leads you down  worldly paths into enjoying that same style of music, but in the world. I even heard one man say that people  listen to CCM because they’re trying to revamp the emotional love for Christ they lost. I can’t disagree with  all of this. It’s true, sometimes certain CCM does lead you to enjoy the same kind of music of the world,  and some CCM does imitate the world. A lot of it does. However, I can’t agree with it completely. I know of  some artists who do a very good job of honoring the Lord with their music and voice.

Where do you draw the line between “worldly” and “clean”?

I’m not afraid to say it; I don’t know. For me, it depends on personal conviction, unless someone shows me  differently and I agree that it matches up to the Scriptures. Set your standards for acceptable songs. Be  reasonable. Don’t bend the rules to satisfy your fleshly desires; don’t cheat God. Then, see what songs you  listen to meet that criteria.

What about drums and guitars? Are they sinful?

I personally think it’s a matter of presentation. Drums and guitars really do have the capability to provide a  worldly effect to a song. They’re instruments: as with all instruments, you can either use them to glorify  God, or dishonor Him. However, I wouldn’t go so far as to call them sinful. There’s nothing about the  instruments themselves: it’s the way you use them that creates the effect. However, for a church I would  say no. It does create that “rock – concert” feel, and though there’s nothing wrong with the instrument, it  invites in things you wouldn’t desire to have in your church.

What if the song has an amazing message, but worldly beat?

It depends if your standards let you bend far enough to wade through the stuff you disagree with to get to  the message. Some songs to me just aren’t worth it, and others are. Personal conviction.

Is dancing sinful?

Okay, so maybe this one’s not exactly CCM, but it’s another legalist church argument that’s in relation to  music. Dancing can be a way to express joy. David in the Bible danced for joy. But these days, it’s become  a source of entertainment; one that can quickly go beyond appropriate. This is the argument for the  legalistic church. Dancing is sinful because of what it leads to. Okay, so in the sense they’re talking about, I  agree. What dancing can lead to isn’t exactly pure, and I think that the kind of dancing they’re referring to  can have a bad effect on some. However, I don’t think dancing’s bad. I don’t see how some forms of dance  could be considered evil.

Am I being too picky? Too analytical? Maybe. But I don’t think that common arguments are something to  just stand by and watch go on all around you. Take a stand, take a side. Discern what you believe, and  ground yourself in faith. That way you may know how to take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

Valentine Card Challenge

Crista Moriah over at http://www.uniquelyfashionedforhisglory.blogspot.com/ has started a Valentine Card Challenge. The goal is to send 1,400 cards to imprisoned children in Uganda by February 14. All you have to do is make a card, write out John 3:16, and “God Loves You”, or “Jesu Okwagala”, in Lugandan. If you plan to make one (or a hundred!), go over to her blog and comment to let her know how many you’ve made. Send your card(s) to:

Address & send to the ministry SixtyFeet:

Sixty Feet Inc.
2451 Cumberland Parkway
Suite 3526
Atlanta, Georgia
30339

See her blog also for more details. Please join me in showing God’s love to these children!

When God Is Silent

Hey y’all, sorry my posts lately have been pretty impersonal, I’m trying to work on that. (I’m not an  experienced blogger, so I’m still figuring things out.) Thanks for reading despite my quirks. We’ll see how it  goes…

Lately I haven’t been feeling in a very “theological mood”, you might call it. *Gasp* Yes, I know, I’m not  supposed to say those things, but it’s true. Sometimes, I don’t really have a lot to say here on this blog.  Sometimes, I don’t learn my lessons the first time – just ask my parents; they know exactly what I’m talking  about. Sometimes, my spirit isn’t teachable (At. All.). And other times, it seems like God isn’t speaking to me.  There are times when it feels like He is silent.

One of my favorite speakers who comes to speak at our church periodically said this recently: God is silent  on purpose, because He wants to see your heart. I have to remind myself of this sometimes, because there  are days when I don’t feel like He’s speaking to me at all. But then I’m forced to ask myself, have I been  speaking to Him?

To have a relationship with someone, it goes both ways, right? You can’t be close to someone when all you  do is focus on yourself. (i.e. talk about yourself, do things for yourself, etc.) It takes investing in the other  person to really know them.

I’ve already gone over prayer and investing in others in previous posts. So we’re spending more time in  prayer and reaching out to those around us, that’s great. We should absolutely do those things. But we  can’t let those things become more important than listening. If we don’t listen to the voice of God, how are  we supposed to truly learn anything? I can read the Bible every day, but unless I listen to what He has to  say through His Word, it’s pointless. I am working on breaking this habit that I’ve developed in my own Bible  reading. We can’t just go through the motions so we can check off another box on our busy schedule, as  most of my Bible reading has been through the few years I’ve actually put any effort into it. We have to  listen, or it doesn’t benefit us in any way.

It’s just like in a relationship with a friend: you talk and listen. It goes both ways. But do we really listen as  much as we should? I don’t think we do.

To listen to someone, we actually have to spend time with them. I know I’ve already talked about this, but I  can’t stress it enough. We have to spend more time with the Lord. Nothing else should be more important  than growing in Him. How can we do anything else “for Him”, such as witnessing, serving, etc., if we’re not  actively seeking Him and spending time in His Word?

But anyway, back to God being silent. What do we do when He is silent? Obviously we can’t be listening to  Him if He’s not saying anything! I believe it’s a test of our faith. Are we only faithful to Christ when He’s  constantly teaching us through His Word? Do we still continue to love and serve Him even when it feels like  He’s not there?

That brings me to another point I want to make – feelings. We so rely on our feelings in our relationship.  Think about it; that’s what most of our relationships are founded on. Feelings! We limit God to our human  standards for relationships. We try to water Him down to make Him fit the kind of relationships we have with  others around us. We let feelings drive our relationship with Him. But He doesn’t work that way. He wants  us to love Him, just as He first loved us. He first loved us when we were dirty, rotten sinners! He didn’t love  us because we loved Him first.

Isn’t that how it works in our relationships today? We’re not going to be friends with someone else if they  don’t put forth any effort. Why would we? We don’t benefit from it in any way. But that’s not how God  demonstrated love to us. He shows us that it doesn’t require someone loving us back to still love us. We  can’t rely on feelings of love toward God to power our relationship with Him. So when we feel like He’s not  really there, we can’t base the truth on our feelings, if He’s really there or not. He never changes; but we do.  We can’t limit Him to our human standards.

When God is silent, it is hard. It’s hard to feel like He’s a thousand miles away, and we can’t reach Him.  But just because we “feel” like He’s not there doesn’t mean that it’s true. Just because He’s silent doesn’t  mean that He’s not there at all. He wants to see your heart; He wants to see if you’ll love Him no matter  what.

So what will we do? We have a choice to either ace this test of flunk it. What choice will I make? What  choice will you make?

We’ve Lost Our First Love

I frequently get caught up in the little things in life and miss the big picture. I will get so worried about one  area that I forget what’s really important. There have been times when I start worrying about things that are  happening or might happen, whether they’re big or little, and I miss things God’s trying to show me. I focus  my attention somewhere else other than where it ought to be.

I’ve often looked back on a verse in 1 Samuel that I’ve grown to love when I realize that I’ve become caught  up in the trivial things. It’s 1 Samuel 1:8 , “Her husband Elkanah would say to her, ‘Hannah, why are you  weeping? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?’“

When I first read this verse, I realized what the Lord was trying to show me. I was getting upset over the  silly little things that might happen, and was missing growing in my relationship with Him.

Oftentimes, we get caught up in the here and now. We focus on the little problems, and frequently we blow  them out of proportion. But when you evaluate it with an eternal perspective in mind, how often are those  little things truly important? What should you be focusing on instead?

I’ve found that most of the time, these things become more important than my relationship with Christ. I  know, I’m not supposed to say that; but it’s true. But it’s not just me. All of us at one point or another have  put other things where Christ is supposed to be – we have forgotten who our first love is. (Rev. 2:4) We  have made something else higher up on our priority list than maintaining a relationship with our Savior. But  our pride doesn’t want us to admit it.

I’ll just state it bluntly: we idolize things other than Christ.

So, we’ve acknowledged that we have idols: TV, books, social media, friends, activities, etc. What do we do  now?

We surrender our hearts to the Lord and make Him first in our lives. How do we do this? By fleeing the evil  desires of youth and running to Jesus. By loving Him and longing for a close, thriving relationship with Him  more than we do whatever it is we want. It may not be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, but who said  following Christ didn’t come with its challenges? Following Christ means total abandonment to self and  desires of the flesh. It means giving up your old way of life, and the things that bind you to the world. It  means letting go.

“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part  of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble,  cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go  into hell.” Mt. 5:29-30

Sometimes, this change can be beyond difficult. Sometimes, it may be extreme. But if we honestly want  to love Him more, then we must make our desire to love Him overpower our desire to appease the flesh.  We must make the choice that we know is right, and not go by feelings.

God’s calling us back to Him. He wants Himself to mean more to us than ten of whatever it is that we love  more. Will we hold on to what we have put in His place? Or will we answer the call?

Popular

It’s in every one of us to be “liked”, to be “accepted” by people. We all want to have lots of friends and be  well-thought of. Because I’ve never really been a popular person, I’ve often struggled with these feelings.   I am shy and so have trouble getting to know people.  As a result, I’ve never had many friends. I’ve always  known in my head that Jesus is to be our best friend, and that He satisfies our every need.  But I’ll admit, I  used to long quite frequently for the kind of social life that it seemed all of my other friends and  acquaintances enjoyed. I used to be disappointed that no matter how hard I would try, I was frequently the  odd one out.   Now, it really doesn’t matter; I’ve learned not to care about what people think of me.

Popularity has been a coveted status for young and old for as long as there have been people. The thought  is that if you’re not popular, then basically, you’re not worth anyone’s time. You’re a loser or there is  something wrong with you.  According to the world, to be popular is to have worth. Popularity can actually  be measured these days, too, by the number of friends you have on Facebook or the number of likes your  photo receives on Instagram.  A lot of these “friends” are not even people you know well or at all.  You  merely send out friend requests to any and everyone in order to boost your numbers, or else you follow  people you don’t know on Disqus so that they will follow your blog and increase your number of views.  Because, as we all know, the person with the highest numbers is worthy of your respect, admiration, and  worship.

Right?

But by trying to be “popular”, who are we really striving to please? God or man? And is our worth really  wrapped up in what others say about us?  God says that we are  “precious in my eyes, and honored, and  I love you…” (Is. 43:4).  And He also says that we should not “be conformed to this age, but be transformed  by the renewing of your mind…” (Rom. 12:2), implying that we should be in the world but not of the world.

So then, if we are Christians, what God says should matter more to us than what others say.  These worldy  endeavors should be the last thing we desire! We shouldn’t want to fit in; we should want to stand out as  shining lights in this generation of darkness. As long as Christ “likes” us, that should be all that matters. We  get so caught up in the here and now, that we forget about the big picture, of what really matters. Ten years  from now, I probably won’t know most of the people I do now. So then, instead of trying to gain their  approval, I should be shining Christ’s light into their lives and encouraging them to live for Him. Why bother  trying to “impress” others? Impress Christ. Don’t live for man; live for Him. Our time on this earth is so short  and so precious. Don’t waste it trying to be accepted by the world.

Why should we question what we believe?

As Christians, we are supposed to have a firm foundation in Christ. But do we know what our foundation consists of? Have we ever stopped to consider what we have simply accepted from our peers and  authorities as the truth? I don’t agree with everything that my friends, family, or even my church tells me  is right. I’m not being opinionated or stubborn about it; I’m just being analytical, in the sense of figuring  out why I believe what I do.

So why should we question what we believe? Why should we not take everything we hear at face value?  Well, why do we make decisions? We make choices based on what we think is right. Even if we make  the wrong choice, we know why it’s wrong and we know that it is wrong; so we still do it knowing what is right.

It’s the same with questioning what we believe. We question all we’ve known to determine what’s right  and what’s wrong. We don’t want to believe lies; who likes to know that someone’s been lying to them?  But if we don’t question what the world is telling us is true, how do we know we aren’t being lied to?

It wasn’t until this year that I started questioning my own beliefs and started forming my thoughts on what  was right and wrong. It’s important for us to discover what we think is right, so we can grasp that  understanding of why it’s right, instead of believing everything we hear; but our source of information  needs to be the Bible. I can tell you all day long it’s not right to steal, but how will you know if I’m telling  the truth or not? Without the Bible, we have no standards, no guidelines, and no applications for daily life.

Once we know the truths the Bible presents, we can then face the world. With our truths in mind, we need  to analyze what others present as truth. I have grown up in church my whole life. I’ve heard many, many  sermons. I’ve been to contemporary churches and traditional churches. I’ve also heard many different  arguments over the same point. Like contemporary Christian music. This one is a big one for me. Hearing  all these sermons, all these viewpoints, all these arguments, I’ve been exposed to different ideas as to  what’s right and what’s wrong. Obviously, only one is the truth. Only one viewpoint can be right. So then,  how do we determine which one is true? We take the truths from the Bible and compare them to what  we’re hearing.

It’s hard to discern the truth, though. It’s not as easy as comparing what the Bible says to daily discussions.  There are many theologians that disagree with one another on the same points in the Bible. They’re both  talking about verses in the Bible, which we know are true.  But they both can’t be right. So how do we know which one is true?

You go back to the truths you discovered from the Bible. There are some questions we will never have  answers for, and that’s okay. But you need to have answers for the big questions in life. And with these  answers, you can combat all that you know is false.

So now I go into why we shouldn’t take everything at face value. Everybody has ideas they accept as truth, and they will be happy to tell you why they’re right. This is EXACTLY why it is so important to know what you believe and why you believe it.  If you have simply accepted “truth” without understanding why, then you will be unable to defend your beliefs.  They will never stand against the convincing arguments that others can and WILL make and that makes you susceptible to falling for falsehoods that can lead you in a wrong direction.  I believe that that is why so many young Christian people “fall away from the faith”.  They have never taken the time to work through their beliefs and are not grounded enough to withstand the lies of the world when they are old enough to make their own decisions.

We need to question what we’ve grown up with as well. Nobody has all the answers, not even your  authorities. Therefore, if we never question what we’ve accepted as our own beliefs, we could very well be  believing lies. I know some people who follow exactly what their parent’s beliefs are. They never are willing  to accept any other viewpoints on anything, and they are positive that their parent’s ways are correct  without stopping to ponder it, and they reiterate what they’ve been taught when faced with questions.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with questioning your parents’ ways; you should always trust your  parents – they’ve been around a lot longer than you. But stop and think about what you have accepted as  your own belief. If you don’t determine for yourself what is right, you will never realize why you believe  what you believe. Don’t believe what you do just because someone tells you to. Analyze it, ponder it,  determine if it matches up with the Bible. Then base your beliefs on your conclusion. This isn’t meant to  be an excuse to rebel against authority; we are to “be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no  authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.  (i.e. parents) Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has  instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” (Rom. 13:1-2) I’m just saying to  determine your own beliefs on what someone, anyone, says is true, that you may fully understand the  foundation you have set for your faith, and you may be a better testimony to Christ, the One you believe in.

The Christmas Lie

My goal in this blog is not to run people down, to preach at them, or to make them do something just  because I said they should. My goal is to share things I’ve learned, to encourage and build up other believers, and be an arrow pointing to Christ. But in the process, I want to bring light to the lies we’ve  deceived ourselves with, big or small. I want to discover truth.

So I want to bring out the (obvious) lie we tell ourselves when it comes to Christmas. We tell ourselves that Christmas is the time of year we’re supposed to set aside to remember that Jesus came to earth as  a baby and was born in a stable. We do the Christmas plays, sing the Christmas hymns, read the  Christmas story. But what have we actually taken to heart?

Christmas has turned into a selfish tradition where we make it into a materialistic party, satisfying our greed.  People make their “Christmas lists”. They attend parties. Then they stress out because they have all these  gifts to buy and it’s two days until Christmas. And we haven’t even realized what we’ve done. Now, I have done all of these things, and none of them are wrong in themselves. But we’ve put our greed, self, and  wants where Christ should have been all along. “Christmas” means “More Christ”. What we’ve turned it into is “Stuffmas”. We focus more on getting and even giving than what God gave to us.

What did God give us? He gave us the key to His kingdom. He gave us light, life, and unending joy. He  gave us power over darkness through His only Son, whom He freely gave for us wretched sinners to be  crucified and slain. And we’ve corrupted the day that this life was brought to us.

We’ve treated this miraculous, undeserved gift with disregard. We’ve neglected this special love and  ignored it to pick up the stress and the chaos and self-focus. Shouldn’t we be ashamed? Shouldn’t we be embarrassed that we – yes, we Christians – have neglected our Savior? What sort of testimony do we  live, that we would take the birth of Christ and use it to gain more stuff?

One of my favorite, overlooked Christmas passages is in John 1. “The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, and the world did  not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him… The Word  became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son,  who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1: 9-11, 14)

He came into the world for us; not because we deserve it, but because He was full of grace. And we did  not receive Him. Do we even receive Him today?

Think about that for a minute – His grace. We are so undeserving of this life, and yet He sent His only son to die a cruel, merciless death on a cross, like a common, ordinary thief, to pay the price for what you and I have done to separate ourselves from God. His coming for us truly is an act of grace.

Yes, Christmas is remembering the birth of Christ. We believe that this is what Christmas is about. But do  we act on that belief? Do we honestly remember Him more than what we still have left to buy? I can’t even  admit to doing that. I still work on making Jesus my first love, on putting Him first in everything. But I  believe this is a test of our love, our faithfulness. We need to stop lying to ourselves. Who do we love more: ourselves, or Christ?

Where Does God’s Master Plan And Our Free Will Meet?

God knows all things. He knows how our life will play out. He knows what will happen ten years from now; every choice you make, every step you take. He has a plan for your life. His plan is to make us prosper, to give us hope and a future.

So, if His plan is for us to prosper, how come so many of today’s generation is growing up to commit suicide, commit murders, do dumb stuff, wind up in jail, and eventually die after living a worthless life?

Because of something called free will. We have a choice to choose right over wrong. God’s plan for us is always right; we have the choice to mess it up. Look at the Garden of Eden. God’s plan was for humans to literally walk with Him in a perfect paradise He created for them. But Adam and Eve sinned, they went against His master plan, and marred human life for forever. And they went against His plan for salvation. God desires that every one on earth believe in Him and live with Him forever in paradise. But even so, our world is still filled with atheists, agnostics, and the like. People still reject Him and go against His ultimate plan. God’s plan is perfect, and He doesn’t plan for us to go to hell. We have the choice to either reject Him or receive Him. This is an example of our free will and God’s plan.

God has our life planned out, yes, but that doesn’t include drugs, jail, suicide, etc. He has a prosperous, hopeful future for us, whether we view it as such or not. Yet, He knows what path we will take. He knows if we will choose His way or our own. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. This is why there are so many failures in the world. We reject Him. “No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” (Jn. 15:4-5)

Me, Myself, and I

In writing these posts (the published, unpublished, and never-to-be published), I have noticed that so, so many of our sinful actions, thoughts, and words boil down to one point: self. So many of the sins we commit are derived by a self-centered focus.

Why is that?

We are born with a sinful nature; it is naturally in us to do anything to please ourselves, to satisfy the flesh. We’re not perfect and never will be. Yet, though we are born with this sinful nature, there are ways to deal with it. It doesn’t take a genius to know not to play with a prowling lion. Even the most simple-minded people (should) know as much. Therefore, we as humans, in all of our simplicity, should know not to heed the devil’s temptations. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” We should be grounded in the truth, to withstand the fiery darts Satan throws at us. If we are not grounded in God’s word, we cannot stand against any temptation that comes our way.

What does temptation have to do with me being selfish?

Since we are naturally born selfish, we have two options. We can either succumb to it, to give in and indulge in whatever we wish to do to appease ourselves; or, we can turn it around, surrender our sins to the Lord, and oppose ourselves. If we choose to give in, this will only open the door to whatever Satan wishes to throw our way, and there is no escape. If you have surrendered to yourself, there is no way out. But, if we surrender ourselves to Him, then He promises a way out when we are tempted. He is our answer. Aside from Him, we are, and can do, nothing.

But Satan will want us to think we are something. He will want us to feel the need to prove ourselves, or to make a point about ourselves, to make us feel good. This is where self and pride collide. He makes us feel proud about what we accomplish, causing us to forget in Whose strength we accomplished it. So Satan tempts us to turn to ourselves, to rely on our own strength, and to feel proud when we succeed. Temptation has everything to do with selfishness, when you think about it.

What do we do about this selfishness?

What is the opposite of selfishness? Love for others. Think about it: selfishness is loving ourselves, doing what is best for us, what we feel like doing, what would most benefit us. If we loved others more than ourselves, we would put their needs and wants above our own, therefore defying our selfishness. In order to diminish our self-centered attitude, we need to develop an attitude that focuses on others.

How do we develop this love for others? We have to have a sincere desire to put others above ourselves, to want what’s best for them before us. If it’s not sincere, everything you do to “put others first” will be irrelevant. To have a sincere love for others, we have to have a sincere love for Christ. This is something that nobody else can do for you. I can tell you a hundred times a day to love Christ, but that won’t make you do it. It has to come from your heart.

What if we don’t feel like loving others? If you wait until you feel sincere, we may never love others. Sometimes, we have to put the actions first, and let a love grow from the repeated actions.

If you abolish the self-centered feeling in your heart, all other prideful or selfish words, thoughts, or actions will cease. What comes from your mouth comes from your heart. (“But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them” Matt. 15: 18) A sincere, honest love for Christ will overflow into a love for others. This is also obeying Christ’s commands: “If you love me, you will obey what my commands,” John 14:15. And John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

To sum it all up, there is nothing we can do on our own. You can’t battle your own selfishness without Christ’s help. You can do nothing in your own strength. But we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Phil. 4:13), and with God, nothing is impossible. (Mark 10:27)

Why do I feel so alone?

I absolutely love having friends. I love having people to laugh with, to joke with, to talk to, to hang out with. I love being able to spend time with friends, and I love the ones God has blessed me with.

However, I honestly don’t have many friends, and even fewer that I would call close friends. I have grown to be more discerning in my friend choices, and I have my own standards and criteria for what I look for in a good friend. This has forced me to look at my friends with a different perspective. How many of my friends build me up in Christ? Encourage me to get in the Word? How many of them lift me up and encourage me when I’m in need of encouragement, or in a spiritual rut?

Quite frequently, I feel alone. I often feel like I don’t have anyone I could pour my heart out to. Really there aren’t a lot of people I feel that I could open up to who wouldn’t be tapping their feet, glancing at their watch, and mentally devising an excuse to escape. Every now and then, I wonder if there’s something different about me that makes people avoid me instead of want to be around me.

The answer is yes, there is something different about me. There is a huge difference between me and everyone else. (Not just my warped sense of humor) I am a Christian. I am living in this world, but strive not to be of it. I strive for something far beyond what others hope to gain. I don’t live here just to have fun. I live here to make a difference. My purpose in being here is to be a light to those around me and point the way to Christ. This automatically singles me out as “different”.

When you choose Christ over the world, you take the persecution with it. Persecution doesn’t necessarily mean being tortured or martyred, as many have made it out to be; although they are forms of it. It is defined as, “harassment, maltreatment, bullying, singling out, discrimination”. Of course, being martyred and tortured are the most obvious and cruel forms of persecution, but it doesn’t even have to be that extreme. In Mark 13:13 it says, “Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” Everyone (the world) will hate us because we bear the name of Christ; but the one who stands firm to the end, the one who isn’t defeated by the harassment, discrimination, will be saved from this world of persecution.

This is the explanation for why we are alone. Because we are Christians, the world will hate us. This is what we should expect. This is the cost of following Christ.

Now you cry, “Seriously? Christ wants us to feel lonely and rejected?”

No, Christ does not want us to feel lonely and rejected. He wants us to feel loved and accepted by Him. He wants to draw us in to Himself, instead of turning from Him to gain the world’s acceptance. He doesn’t want us to meet the world’s approval. He wants us to strive for His. To follow Christ means total abandonment to the world, and total surrender to Him. We leave the world to follow Him.

This is hard to accept sometimes. This is hard for me to accept. But He will meet our needs. He is all that we need.

But yes, you will be avoided by the world. It will be harder to find friends, because our standards for life are different; we won’t “fit in”. Because I don’t have a phone, because I don’t have Facebook (like so many kids my age and even younger do), because I don’t attend many of the activities that so many people do, because I don’t dress, act, and talk like everyone else, and because I’m not connected with the world via social media, I don’t have friends like everyone else. But I don’t want that. I don’t want friends like everyone else. I want friends like Christ.

Now, I know that one of the problems I deal with is that I don’t like to meet new people. I don’t like reaching outside of my comfort zone to say hi to the new girl sitting off in the corner. I’m actually kind of shy when I’m around people I don’t know. Therefore, I usually don’t make the effort to reach out to others.

I was really convicted a few months ago, though. A new family started coming to our church, and their two daughters that are around my age are very shy. That was when my conscience started pricking me. Go talk to them, Lauren. Go say hello. I battled with myself, making excuses. No! I don’t even know their names. Besides, I want to go talk to my friends. Maybe some other day. But then I remembered when I first started coming to church, and how for a few months I sat all by myself every week, alone and wishing there was someone to come and talk to me. So I finally quit fighting with myself and have made an effort since to reach out to them like I had wished for when I first started coming.

How are we going to have any friends if we don’t make an effort? This is something I’m terrified at the thought of. I don’t want to go meet new people, I don’t want to reach outside of my cozy comfort zone. And yet, I still have a pity party because “I feel lonely”. Step outside of your comfort zone and say hello to the new kid at church, or the lonely girl off to the side. This is something I’m still working on.

On a closing note, God brings certain people into our lives for certain reasons, even if we can’t see it at the time. I know there have been people in my life to be a friend to me when I had no one, others to build me up in Christ, others for me to encourage in Christ. Whatever the reason, God does place people in your path, whether for you to leave an impact on their life, or for them to leave an impact in yours. But ultimately, God is in control. He knows your needs far before you realize them. He will meet your needs. He is all you need.

The Transcendentalist Christian

I probably threw some of you off by the title. How could somebody possibly be a Transcendentalist Christian? I think we try to fit Transcendentalism into the Christian life so we can have the pleasure of doing things ourselves.

First off, what is Transcendentalism? Transcendentalism is the idea that we are not sinful; we are our own God. Transcendentalists believe that God is everywhere, in everything – like the Force in Star Wars, He exists in the energy that surrounds us; but we are also this God. They believe that all people possess a piece of the “Over-soul” (God). Because the Over-soul is one, this unites all people as one being. Religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Jainism, and Sikhism, fall under Transcendentalism. However, in some ways, as we will see, particular aspects of Transcendentalism will match up with the Christian life we practice today.

What I want to focus on is this one point in the Transcendentalist thinking: that all people are “at their best” when they are truly “self-reliant” and independent. We often think we do things best when we work solo. We rely on ourselves to get the job done, and then we pride ourselves in the task accomplished. We frequently rely on our own strengths. How often do we think we are “at our best when we are truly self-reliant and independent”? We don’t really think we need God. We think we can do it on our own. We don’t need help. We’re completely self-reliant and independent, and that’s exactly how we want it.

Why? Because we don’t like the thought of having to succumb to authority. We want to be our own authority. We enjoy having complete rule over ourselves. We’re stubborn and rebellious; we don’t want God to reign over us. Therefore, we reject His help. We go it alone. How often does that turn out?

But the second biggest thing that I think Transcendentalism and our Christian lives today have in common is this: we all want to have that feeling of spirituality without any responsibility. Think about it – in the religions above, each has their own point of “oneness” with their “Over-soul” (whatever form that is). They have their spiritual rituals and things that they do to reach that point. They strive for the experience. But as C.S. Lewis said, “Experience by itself is nothing”. They want the spiritual experience without any of the responsibility required. And that’s what each of those religions gets.

But how often do we want the spiritual experience without any of the responsibility involved? How often do we just want to go to church, sing the hymns, listen to the sermon, and then go back to living our regular lives throughout the week? We get that spiritual emotional experience on Sundays, but how often do we carry it into the rest of our week? This is where I think we want to live the Transcendentalist life-style under a Christian label.

How do we defy this? Is it wrong to want the spiritual emotions, the experience? If you’re aspiring and striving for the experience, then yes. Everything we do should be for Christ alone, not for an experience or feeling we hope to gain. We don’t always feel that spiritual emotion. There are some days when we wonder if God’s even there at all. But we shouldn’t strive for the experience of religion.

So again, how do we defy this? How do we go against being our own authority, and desiring experience without responsibility? We die to ourselves. We die to our fleshly desires and seek the desires of God’s will for us. We go against our human nature.

This seems near impossible. In fact, it is impossible – in our own strength. However, with God, all things are possible (Mk. 10:27). With God, we can die to ourselves and defy our human tendencies to be our own rulers and have the spiritual experience without responsibility.

Now, the point of this post was not to say that we are secretly Transcendentalists at heart. I merely wanted to point out how often we haven’t completely surrendered to Christ. I’ve learned a little about Transcendentalism recently, and was shocked at what aspects of that mindset reflect the average Christian. And no, not all Christians are this way. This is just an observation that I made contrasting Transcendentalism and today’s Christian.

Article

Another great article from The Rebelution:

Don’t Waste Your Life

Thoughts From a Prayer Warrior Wanna-Be

I’ve been struggling with prayer. I haven’t spent as much time in prayer as I would like, as I need to, or as I think I should. So I’ve taken the time to stop and think about prayer and what it means to the Christian life.

So, so many Christians have misunderstood prayer. We’ve turned prayers into a quick poem we recite before dinner, or a rushed murmur for energy before we start the day. We’ve forgotten what prayer is and what it’s supposed to mean.

God created us to glorify Him, to worship Him, and to delight in Him. He loves each of us enough to send His only son to die for us. He knows us personally, but he also wants us to know Him personally. To get to know someone personally, we communicate with them. We have conversations, we ask them question, we listen to them. We spend time with them. How are we going to know God better when we don’t communicate with Him or spend time with Him?

Prayer is this means of communication. Prayer is talking to God. However, so many people have taken this for granted. We’ve turned it into something it was never intended to be. We’ve turned it into being about us instead of Him. How did we do this? I want to look at a few ways that we do it without even realizing it.

So many of us don’t set aside the time for prayer. We pray when we feel like it or when we have the time. It’s become an obligation for most, another check mark on the list. When we set aside time for prayer, it becomes something important to us. If we just do it whenever it suits us, we do it to fit our time schedule, and we put ourselves first. This isn’t how it was intended to be. We’re to put God first in everything – this includes our time, and our “schedule”. If we really want to know Him better, we aren’t going to shove prayer to the bottom of our priority list under the excuse that we “don’t have the time”. We’re going to desire to spend time alone with Him, talking to Him.

We view prayer as another chore. We don’t want to tack on an extra thing to the day. A lot of the time, we often don’t see the benefits straight away, and it seems pointless. We get upset when we don’t receive the answers we wanted, and we want to hear responses instead of feeling like we’re talking to the air. Therefore, we pray with a grumbling heart, wishing we could be doing anything else. We go into it grudgingly, feeling that it’s something that every good Christian does, and so we should do it whether we want to or not. God wants us to pray because we want to get to know Him, not because it makes us look like or feel like a better Christian. He wants us to pray because we love Him and desire to be with Him, instead of doing it because we’re told to have a “quiet time” or because we feel obligated to do so.

We don’t give Him our attention. We would rather be doing other things instead of talking to someone who doesn’t respond audibly. While we pray, our minds wander to other things we want to get accomplished, other projects we have yet to do, or other activities during the day. Then, when we actually do try to put some effort into praying, we begin to feel proud of ourselves and begin to think of how spiritual we must appear. God wants our hearts. He wants our undivided attention, our full focus, complete concentration. He doesn’t want our distracted hearts and wandering minds. He wants us to give Him our broken and contrite hearts.

Then we go and spoil it by praying for stuff. We live in such a materialistic age. Our prayers are often devoted to whatever it is that we want. Even things that truly matter can become our sole focus in every prayer. There’s nothing wrong with praying for ourselves, as I’ll mention in a bit, but it shouldn’t come to the point where every time we pray it’s all about us and what we want. God wants to see us praying for others’ needs as well as our own.

Jesus gave us an example of how to pray. In Matthew 6: 9-13, he says what most people refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer”. He prays: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” (NIV) I want to break this down into a few sections and look at the construction of this prayer a little closer.

V. 9: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” Here, Jesus begins His prayer honoring His Father’s name. It begins the prayer with respect and reverence to the Father, and it begins with a form of worship. It also serves as an example that He comes first in everything.

V. 10: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
This shows that it is to be the desire of our heart that God’s will is to be done, not ours. Just as His will is done in heaven, His will is to be done on earth. His kingdom – His children – are to be on the earth just as in heaven. A kingdom is made of “subjects”. We are His subjects, He is our King. He wants us to add more souls to His kingdom.

V. 11: “Give us today our daily bread.” We are to trust God with the nourishment we need for each day; both spiritual (Matt. 4:4) and physical (Matt. 6:26). We should pray for every need, trusting Him to provide.

V. 12: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
This one kind of caught me by surprise when I looked at it closely. (I’m sure everyone else saw it long before I did.) We are asking God to forgive us in the same way that we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. Ouch. Imagine how many times we have held a grudge, refusing to forgive someone in our hearts even if we said “I forgive you” on the outside? God knows our hearts; we can’t hide anything from Him. How often do we really want Him to forgive us in the same way that we forgive others?

V. 13a: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
We have to desire to flee from temptation if we are really going to ask this. God will always provide a way out from temptation when we are tempted; we only have to choose it.

V. 13b: “For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” He finishes the prayer with worship and honor again, an example that everything is solely for God; He is the Alpha, Omega, beginning, and end. It also ends with us asking that all we have just spoken please God, and may His will be done.

So back to the main question: How do our prayers end up being all about us? It’s simple – we put ourselves first in everything instead of the other way around. Is it wrong to pray for our own needs? Absolutely not. You should definitely pray for your own needs; it’s even fine to pray for things that you want “just because”. Just don’t turn your prayers into miniature wish-lists. Remember that God comes first in everything, and our point in praying is to communicate with and grow in our relationship with Him.

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” Rev. 22: 13

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b

Live for One

Recently, I have been confronted with how greatly I influence others, specifically my brother. I see it happen all the time; he copies everything I do. I’ve seen it happen in lots of families – the younger siblings always copy the older siblings. Why? Because we as older siblings (some of y’all don’t have to deal with this) have a great influence on our younger siblings, for better or worse, consciously or subconsciously.

But our sphere of influence extends beyond our own families. We are also affected by the people we interact with on a regular basis. I’ve seen it in my brother, but I recognize it the most in myself. However, I want to talk about how we influence others.

I notice how my brother will take after me in actions, speech, ideas, even little things that I do. I am charged with a big responsibility: being a good role model. Whether I want to be a role model or not is beside the point; I have a daily influence on him, and I can either be a good one, or a bad one. I can never know exactly what toll my influence will have upon him. All that I can do is set the example. If I say something, he’s probably bound to say it at one point or another – so is what I say uplifting, encouraging? What I do, he’ll probably do, too – so is it something that I would later regret, or is it something that will affect him positively? It’s hard to go through life with this in mind. It’s naturally in us to do what we feel like doing now, without thinking of the outcome. But if we pause and take a minute to remember who’s always watching us (or Who), then we might choose to pay more attention to what we say or do.

I know I certainly don’t want to go around always worrying if what I do is going to have a good influence on my brother. That’s not how I envision spending my days! But if I am living for an audience of One, I don’t have to worry about how my influence will affect my brother. “But just as He who called you is holy, be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy’,” 1 Peter 1:15-16. If we are seeking after Christ in all we do, actively trying to please Him and be just like Him, then we will already be setting a positive example. So it’s not about living as an example for others; it’s about living as an example of who Christ is.

Like I said, it’s not just setting an example for your siblings. It extends to our friends, little kids at church, or even adults. People are watching you when you don’t even realize it.

But let’s talk specifically about our affect upon our friends now. I know that certain friends have influenced me in both good and bad ways. Every one of my friends has influenced me in one way or another, for better or worse. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” And we are also admonished in Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Obviously, God knew that the influence of other people would be strong and that we would need His wisdom to make good choices in our friendships. So the same principal applies to us. If we know that our friends influence us, we should know that we also influence them.

But when we live solely for Christ, then that’s all that matters. Everything we do will stem from our relationship with Him. As I said before, it’s not about living as an example for others; it’s about living as an example of who He is. Live for One.

Change

Those of you who know me know that I hate change. HATE it.

Recently, I stopped taking lessons from my favorite piano teacher for good. Yes, sometimes I can be dramatic, but this really was hard for me. This teacher was the teacher that I had respected the most, learned from the most, and loved the most, and after a year and a half of my dedication, I had to stop.

Yet, it’s for the best.

With my new teacher, I’ll have more opportunities, the drive will be cut in half, and I’ll advance more than I had before.

Still, it’s change.

It’s hard for me to accept change, big or small. When I was little, I’d cry over every old, broken, or dirty thing that had to be thrown away. I cried the day we threw out our old, broken washing machine. I cried the day we got rid of our old, dirty, torn furniture. I cried over every little thing we got rid of. Fortunately, I outgrew that and realized that I just had to let some things go. In the same way, sometimes we have learned all that we can from one class in life and need to graduate to the next level.

I lived near Austin for over half of my 14 years. When we moved here to Houston, I was devastated. My dad, who had worked at home all of my life, was getting a job outside of the house. I had to leave all my friends, forcing me to realize that I only had one true friend (who was loyal to me through it all, for which I am so grateful). I had to get used to a new place, new people, new activities. Everything I had known had suddenly changed so drastically. This was SO hard for me. Yet, it was for the best.

When we moved, we left the church where my dad had been a pastor. That, too, was extremely hard for me. We immediately started looking for a new church home in the area. For two years we visited church after church after church, new church plants, home churches, mega churches…to the point where I was sick of it. I was tired and discouraged from looking and looking and not finding anything. So, I started to have a bad attitude about church. But then we stumbled upon the church we are attending now. It was completely different from the contemporary churches we were so used to and thought that we wanted, but we liked it and kept coming back. Eventually, we made it our new church home, and it inspired me to seek after Christ in a way that I never had at our old church.

It took me a long time to see how leaving the church my dad had pastored was for the better. But my life and my relationship with the Lord now are evidence that, once again, it was for the best. It took me two years to see this.

Sometimes, it takes us a while to see the outcome of change. Sometimes, we may never understand. It’s hard to accept change. But with Christ in control, it will always be for the best.

Interesting Quote

One of my favorite artists, Nichole Nordeman, wrote something in a forward to her song “Live” that I found very interesting. She says:

“Most of us can point to a time where God felt particularly close. Summer camp. Weekend retreat. An intense time of praying and fasting with someone. We’re sure, after these moments that we will be able to hold on to the emotional high, only to find ourselves trudging through the ‘Monday’ stuff of life.

That’s one reason not to get attached to the emotional frenzy that a lot of spiritual experiences tend to stir up…sometimes they are genuine, other times they have been outright manipulated.

I don’t think God intends for us to sustain some ’emotional high’ all the time. I don’t see that evidenced in the life of Christ… But the life we have in Christ should show evidence of joy. Not that kind of joy that lands an ear-to-ear grin on your face 24/7, but the kind that draws from a deep well of security and knowledge that things are different now.”

Amazing Post

Check out this great post over at The Rebelution:

3 Things You Should Know: From One Teenager to Another

The Fallacy of Fairness – Pt. 2

We as humans have a sense of justice, which is why we want fairness to be maintained. If we share our things with others, we expect them to share their things with us. It’s just what we expect.

The hired laborers in the parable of the workers in the vineyard expected each to be paid according to the amount of work accomplished (Matt. 20). It’s what they considered fair and just. We might tend to agree with their logic – I would if I had been in their shoes. They thought that the worker who labored less than half the day shouldn’t get the same pay as the one who worked all day – after all, they had been working a lot longer and harder, and earned it. It makes sense.

But it also makes sense when the landowner tells them, “I am not being unfair to you, friend. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” (v. 13-15)

Sometimes, the right thing doesn’t seem fair, when in actuality, it is. I didn’t ask to be the firstborn, I didn’t ask to be an example for my brothers. But it’s according to God’s design, even if it doesn’t seem fair to me.

Why, if something really seems right and fair, would we view it as unfair? Because we are selfish humans, and we think if someone gets something, we deserve it, too. It seems fair and just to us – everyone gets equal opportunities, treatment, etc., so I don’t miss out on anything. I want what’s best for me. If we started putting others first, maybe our selfish attitudes would change, and we wouldn’t really care if it was fair to us or not. If we’re to “value others above ourselves,” how is that being demonstrated through our selfishness?

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)